Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
deleted II
ari sha (10/28/2009 5:57:09 PM): hiiii
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 5:57:31 PM): hi...
ari sha (10/28/2009 5:58:03 PM): i guess it is a blessing that i did not yet delete your id from my YM
ari sha (10/28/2009 5:58:05 PM): heheheh
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:00:09 PM): why is it a blessing?
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:03:13 PM): a blessing that i could still say hello to u
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:03:36 PM): i guess.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:03:57 PM): for a minute there i thought you missed my sarcasm and bossiness.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:04:30 PM): glad to see u know what u are
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:05:18 PM): only with the likes of you.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:05:42 PM): maybe i should say i learned a bit of sarcasm from u,,,
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:06:07 PM): at least I have deleted you from my list that very night.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:06:34 PM): really?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:06:40 PM): i guess some poeple are just too vain and selfish to know themselves better and blame it on others.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:07:04 PM): yes, i have. i have too many on it. making way fro more.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:07:17 PM): how come then u knew who it is that is blabbering with u
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:07:27 PM): you wouldn't mind, would you?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:07:38 PM): i don't forget the nasty ones. bad boys leave marks.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:08:09 PM): were you blabbering? i thought you made perfect sense.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:08:10 PM): vain? old guard like me ...no time to be vain
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:08:31 PM): guess you don't really know yourslef then.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:08:39 PM): u dont have to seek my permission to delete my name and to make way for others
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:09:38 PM): oh no, not at all. I have done it.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:09:53 PM): was wondering if it made you feel a little upset about it.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:10:06 PM): it is a case of " I don't miss something I never had "....
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:10:11 PM): but it wouldn't.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:10:14 PM): was merely being nice.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:10:17 PM): hahahahaa
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:10:38 PM): it was even less than that, I'm sure.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:10:46 PM): on my part at least.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:10:53 PM): u can be so sarcastic until your face turns blue,,,, i wouldn't care
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:11:03 PM): hehehe
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:11:11 PM): it never really mattered what you think, really.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:11:24 PM): exactly
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:11:39 PM): that IS the point
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:11:39 PM): i'm the younger one, just making polit conversation with you until you have had enough and finally go away.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:11 PM): enough of this conversation.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:14 PM): not my sarcasm...
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:18 PM): you'll miss it. i'm sure.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:12:19 PM): i think your first task as the younger one would be to really check what is the meaning of politeness
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:28 PM): oh see...
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:12:33 PM): heheheh
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:38 PM): it does affect you....
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:40 PM): oh my....
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:46 PM): glad i am making a mark.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:12:50 PM): in your heart of stone.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:12:53 PM): miss your sarcasm? you make my toes laugh
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:13:02 PM): some ugly toes you have.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:13:10 PM): they laugh eh?
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:13:35 PM): but i think it is just cheap reverse psychology that i may keep your name not deleted
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:02 PM): I don't know your name, but really, i don't know what happened between you and I that we have become such...
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:04 PM): what are we?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:13 PM): we're not ... well, never were friends.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:21 PM): just started out arguing and kicking each other
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:14:26 PM): oh well... u need to learn a lot about categorical statements
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:36 PM): what happened to you that made you the way you are?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:14:48 PM): well, not here to learn anything from you.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:14:59 PM): honestly... i never am the way I am with you
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:15:00 PM): i don't know why you are still talking to me.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:15:07 PM): i did tell you i deleted you, didn't i?
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:15:10 PM): i don't know why really
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:15:21 PM): because I would like to not have this kind of conversation with anyone.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:15:28 PM): but somehow i am learning something from this
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:15:45 PM): i did say on my profile that I am there just for the conversation and had asked everyone to be nice.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:15:47 PM): i still get this.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:16:00 PM): ok... if u don't like the conversation... you have two options
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:16:06 PM): ari sha: honestly... i never am the way I am with you<--- ditto.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:16:16 PM): one: turn over for the better
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:16:25 PM): secondly: delete for good
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:16:30 PM): why were you nasty to me in the first place?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:16:34 PM): i did delete you.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:16:35 PM): either way i am ok
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:16:51 PM): you were the one who started thinking i was judging you
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:16:52 PM): i am not forcing u on to anything
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:16:57 PM): i merely stated tha i am not into that
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:17:02 PM): and you blew off your cap
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:17:10 PM): and yet here you are still.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:17:34 PM): i was not judging you.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:17:38 PM): like i said ... i have trodded into a strange path
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:17:52 PM): and i am enjoying this
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:18:14 PM): a new experience
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:18:25 PM): i was just telling you that i am not into the kinds of things that you are or were or whatever. so that you will not assume that I am on Tagged for that kind of thing, so you can easily move on to the next person who will be much more palatable to your tastes.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:18:56 PM): oohh
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:18:58 PM): honestly, i haven't been this way for a very long time.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:19:05 PM): I don't like this side of me.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:19:08 PM): thanks for the recommendation
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:19:16 PM): see?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:19:25 PM): i didn't mean to be so harsh.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:19:29 PM): but you are harsh to me too.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:19:30 PM): but really, I know what is best for me
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:19:51 PM): always thinking people are bossing you around.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:19:57 PM): i know
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:20:09 PM): that i have been harsh
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:20:24 PM): but my friends know me for that
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:20:28 PM): go away. please. i am not that person you think i am. we just got off on the wrong foot. and i don't see that you wanna make it any better.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:20:43 PM): u treat me good.... I'll treat u better
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:20:58 PM): i don't like having to defend myself every step of the way like i was not supposed to be here.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:21:06 PM): and if u treat me bad... i am your nightmare.. and i will be hell
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:21:11 PM): no. i don't live my life that way.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:21:28 PM): you might as well, find someone else more accommodating to your wishes.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:21:35 PM): that is your life... u r the director of your own life
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:22:04 PM): really?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:22:21 PM): and you're directing yourself to go on and on and on when no one is listening anymore?
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:22:48 PM): of course u r not listening, u are reading
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:23:07 PM): ok ... i think enough is enough
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:23:16 PM): i have not been this way
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:23:17 PM): i thought you were smarter than that, sir.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:23:26 PM): and i am feeling bad about it
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:23:55 PM): so b4 we exchange more harsh words,,, my apologies to u
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:24:16 PM): i would like to withdraw from all this nonsense
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:25:12 PM): it was all a dream
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:25:37 PM): i'm sorry i was not the nicest person.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:26:11 PM): and i can promise you, i will delete your name after this... in fact i will put your id under the ignore list to make sure i would not contact you again even by mistake
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:26:37 PM): do you hate me?
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:26:40 PM): u happy with that?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:26:44 PM): i don't hate you.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:26:53 PM): it was fun. somewhat.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:26:59 PM): testing someone else's nerves.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:27:05 PM): now u are being sensible
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:09 PM): but i guess you're not having fun.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:12 PM): like i was.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:27:13 PM): but it is too late
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:19 PM): it's ok.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:25 PM): i still don't hate you.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:28 PM): goodbye.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:27:37 PM): i have decided not to mingle with gals like you
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:27:44 PM): there is no hatred here
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:27:45 PM): yeah. the bad ones.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:27:51 PM): i hope so
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:28:04 PM): BYEEE dan maaf kan saya
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:28:10 PM): ok.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:28:20 PM): awak tak salah. take care.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:28:26 PM): tak perlu maaf apa-apa.
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:29:18 PM): u are too proud... too self-conceited
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:29:29 PM): for that saying i still have to ask for maaf again
ari sha (10/28/2009 6:29:30 PM): byee
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:29:35 PM): you can say anything about me.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:29:41 PM): butyou still will never know me
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:29:45 PM): like i said, just with you.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:30:24 PM): and i'm still not judging you. but yu've been judging me all thing while.
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:30:37 PM): who's the proud and conceited one, really?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:31:25 PM): just because i said things like missing my sarcam, you went all berserk again. i guess jokes done in such a way in such a situation is always more cause for hurt?
Lina Lynette (10/28/2009 6:31:43 PM): have it your way then. you have always had the choice. from the very beginning.
First, he opened by saying that he thinks it is a blessing. Then he just had to resort to the 'ignore' button. That is how much he's aching inside to talk to meh. Hah!
Tagged is a nice place to meet weirdos and spice up your evenings with conversations like this. Try it! If you are single of course. Otherwise, jangan mengada.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
play-by-play
WARNING : The following is a personal play-by-play entry of my trip back home. None of it will interest you and if any of it does, pay no attention to it, for names have been changed,events modified and conversations altered to best suit the mood of the entry and to protect the privacy of the people included in this entry.
Read at your own risk. You have been forewarned.
And leave your morality at the door.
And when I say play-by-play, I do MEAN play-by-play.
Raya tahun ini;
Memandangkan aku tak nak lagi menangis sambil driving macam Schumacher and menyeranah
all the people of Brunei and Sabah and Sarawak kerana menyesakkan jalanraya ke KK pada petang Jumaat, sebab silap ambil tiket kul 4.25 pm, aku tempah tiket malam Sabtu. Ha.... gila kan? Ye... walaupun aku tahu raya will be on Sunday morning. Memang, aku sendiri pun kata gila.
Tapi kan... yang mentensikan aku ialah the fact that the Govmen was so gracious as to grant us an off day on Friday. The night before. Tak ke panas hati ko? I am thankful. Don't get me wrong. Tapi if giving us a day off means we have to part with another RM500 of our hard-earned money, takpelah... simpan je cuti tu untuk Xmas ke apa ke. Wah! First time I marah kan gomen online cemnih! Iyelah, dah tiket Sabtu nak tukar ke Jumaat on such a short notice... Harus kena fine apa bagai. And worse come to worse, tak boleh tukar tiket, kena beli tiket lain, yang confirm dalam RM300 - RM500 lagi. Mak takde abang untuk memohon belas ihsan. So memandangkan penasihat kewangan mak tu kata membazir beli tiket tuh, mak pun tak beli la... Penasihat kewangan mak tau mak tak pandai urus duit. So kena tanya dia bagus ke tak, kalau ada apa-apa keputusan berkaitan kewangan. FOC wo... kalau guna AKPK kena bayar tak, agaknya?
Anyway, memandangkan Jumaat dapat cuti... Terima kasih Datuk... kami pun plan gerak dari Lawas on Friday tu la juga. Ada yang nak gerak petang Khamis. Tapi lepas fikir pasal kerja yang belum lunas sebelum cuti ni, cancel la tu... kami setuju gerak pagi Jumaat.
Kul 10.30 am, I bawa keta pergi umah Zy, picked up Mae, Zy and Susan. Kami berempat la je... Marlene dah pergi dulu the day before tumpang SG. Siapa SG? Hahahahaha... ada la. Nanti wa citer kalau ada masa.
Sampai di KK, hantar Susan kat courthouse, kawan dia tunggu kat situ. Then hantar Zy ke airport. Then check in kat Tang. Then petang tu pergi umah kak Ina lepas tunggu Mae jumpa abang dia yang turun dari Tamparuli nak kirim sayuran kepada family dia di Kuching via adiknya Mae yang nak balik ke Kuching tu.
Oh ye, berbuka dulu dengan Mae. Dia memang tak puasa, tapi temankan I berbuka. Dia belanja lak tu. Thank you, Mae! Ingatkan nak pergi ke Kenny Roger's. But lepas check in letih, driving all morning and then ke sana ke mari lagi. Rehat la dulu kunun.... Sampai kat CP dah full house katanya. Oh... sedey... Teringatlah ada Secret Recipe kat Palm Square, ke sana la kami. Nasib baik ada a few tables lagi belum taken up. Terus directed to our seats by the owner of that brach yang kebetulan ada kat branch tu malam tu. I tegur him macam biasa and he said ya ya, saya sudah belah dua, sana pun saya jaga... oh, bukan you ada twin ka? I asked him. Ada lagi satu branch dia kat Warisan Square right across the street from CP.
I had stewed lamb with rice and veggies, while Mae had Shrimp Macaroni and Cheese. They were both really good. I only had plain water because of the rice I have taken. Limiting my sugar intake the best I can because my body does not need the simple sugars. And Mae had the ever manis and masam Apple and Lime and Somboi. Ada Somboi lagi tu...
Then baru pergi umah kak Ina kat Menggatal. Ingat nak jumpa dia je and beraya dengan anak-anak dia sambil hantar beras yang dia suka sangat tu.
Nak tahu? Kak Ina bagi aku 7 buku cheese sponge cake with cheddar cheese topping. 7 buku. Bagi. SEVEN. FOC. Aku cuma bawakan dia beras Bario je tau? Kak Ina memang baik... Terima kasih kak Ina. Sebelum balik ni nak tempah. Kali ni nak beli. Memang sedap kek dia. Mewah cream cheese dan cheddar cheese berparut, tapi dia charge RM10 je sebuku tau? Aku bangga kawan dengan dia.
Cikgu-cikgu sekitar KK pun untung ada dia kat sana. Beli kat dia RM10, jual kat orang RM13 or RM15 pun orang kata murah lagi. Beli la banyak-banyak woi! Biar murah rezeki kak Ina and anak-anak dia.
I had the whole of Saturday morning free. Ingatkan nak bangun sahur sebab jalan jauh esok nieh.... hurm... takdenye... Tidur sampai tengahari. Oh, hidup bujang, time macam tu memang best. Tapi kenang-kenang balik... hais.... :-)
Kul 5 pagi tu bangun dah, hantar Majorie pergi airport... flight dia sangat awal pagi tu. Tak mandi pun aku. Just wash my face and brush my teeth jer. Lepas hantar Mae, aku balik ke hotel and sambung tidor... bagus tul puasa aku hari tu kan?
Later on, bangun, mandi, kemas barang, aku check out. Aku kuar awal la sikit sebab tahu hari ni last day of shopping untuk warga KK sebelum Aidilfitri. Mesti jam gila punya. Memang pun. Berputar 5 - 6 kali aku mencari parking space kat pasar tu. Sematanya nak belikan udang kering mak aku 2kg. Tapi puas hati... 2kg udang kering telah diperolehi dengan jayanya dengan harga yang berpatutan. Tak la aku balik dengan tangan kosong untuk omak den.
Lepas tu, teringat, aku tak print tiket aku lagi yang masih dalam email. Wahahahaha... pelupa betul! Dengan udang kering di tangan, dah dekat nak sampai kereta, aku patah balik ke pasar, menyeberang ke Plaza Warisan and masuk ke dalam mencari cybercafe. Jumpa la sebijik. Bayar RM1.50, aku guna untuk 3 minit je. Mamat tu kata apa tak cakap nak guna 5 minit je, boleh bayar 50sen je bah. Mana aku tahu? Print pun RM1.20 lagi. Apa-apa je lah labu. Bukan habis RM5 pun. Takpe...
Tadi aku dah cemas dah sebenarnya sebab keta banyak nak mam*** kat KK hari tu. Nak berkejar ke SM Teknik Likas pulak lagi. Tapi by the time I got the tiket printed out, baru makan masa 1 jam dari keluar hotel tadi. Alhamdulillah. I have ample time lagi. Terus ke kereta and campak udang kering ke back seat and drove to SM Teknik Likas ikut jalan shoreline. Traffic was heavy but moving. Memandangkan Nannette belum sampai, aku kemas barang lagi. Balut udang kering dengan aluminum foil untuk elak baunya menyerap ke dalam baju-baju aku dalam luggage. Then taped shut the kotak yang Mak Sitam kirimkan before I left Sund@r after school yesterday. Then melihatkan Nannette belum sampai, aku masuk balik dalam keta and aku pun terlelap. Mata aku memang best. Dia kalau bosan je, terus masuk sleep mode. Macam laptop... conserve battery githoo.
Selepas terlelap beberapa kali menunggu Nannette, aku rebahkan sikit tempat duduk tu, and terus terlena. Sampai lah aku dengar suara terkejut "Oh My GOD!" si Nannette yang dah berpusing mencari aku tapi tak nampak, terkejut tengok aku rupanya ada dalam keta, tidur dengan lena.
Pindah masuk barang dalam kereta barunyer, and kami pergilah ke KKIA. Dia tinggalkan aku kat situ and aku pun pergi check in. Sebelum aku masuk ke balai berlepas, aku teringat... mana Cinonet aku ek? Oh my God!!! Aku cicirkan kat mana? Then teringat aku maybe tertinggal dalam keta Nannette. Gosh... I called her and she called me back dia kat Karamunsing masa tu. Bila dia balik ke kereta dia mesej aku, ada la dalam keta dia. Kat backseat. Lahaulawala... It's so small, aku boleh terlupa nak amik dia. Hmm... takkan nak suh Nat hantar pulak, kan? Biarlah, Nannette simpankan je cuti ni.
Aku pun masuk departure hall. Tak sabar nak fly balik!
On Saturday evening, September 19th, 2009 at about 4.15pm, MH65 took off from KKIA bound for KLIA. The two-and-half- hour flight, I spent napping and napping and napping again. It was still Ramadhan. So the food served onboard the flight was tapao'ed. And enjoying the empty isle seat next to me, with my own seat being on the side of the window. Bliss! How I wish all my flights are like that.
When I got to the KLIA, my brother was already waiting. Previously, there was a misunderstanding. My sister also wanted to come by and pick me up and take me home. But then, my brother had told me earlier on that he would do it. But as it got closer to the date I was due to fly in, they realized there will be a big crowd waiting for me at the airport if they all decide to go to the airport and get me. So a compromise was struck, my sister was let off the hook, and my brother waited for me at the airport with his family tagging along.
I was in my brown Ipanema flip flops, jeans and a black GAP long sleeve shirt with no make up. Gosh, I looked like one of those celebs who got off the plane after a long transatlantic flight. Except for the fact that I am fat and I am no celeb.
The luggage always took forever to get to the baggae claim, so I headed to the restroom. Just as the azan was coming on, I learned that I had in fact, started my periods a few hours prior. So the puasa that day was hangus. Takpe. It was a very stressless and strainless fasting day for me anyway. I freshened up and changed into a light pink long-sleeved shirt and put on some make up and brushed my hair. I look so much better. I don't like looking like a sick person when I get off the plane because then I would worry my family. And a certain L was waiting for me in his car, to exchange the old one ringgit notes I got from a bank in Lawas for duit raya with new ones he got from his bank as I had requested a few days before my flight home.
I got my luggage and box from the carousel, and took out my heels and slipped them on before rolling the trolley out. My eyes scanned my perimeter for a familiar face, until I heard that familiar voice calling my name. "Ci' Na...!" It was Ame my nephew, waiting for me with his dad on the left side among the teksi haram drivers. No wonder la aku tak nampak diorang. Aku memang tak suka pandang arah tu.
Kak Ain the SIL was nowhere in sight, she is probably at the food court having something for iftar. Since Banes pun baru sampai dari JB with his family, he's probably penat gila and hungry too and we proceeded to get to the lower level where the food court is. But then I got a phone call from that certain L and I had to go find him outside.
He drove by in in WQR2**8 and stopped a few meters ahead of me. He reversed a little and I walked up a little to it. I opened the door and got in as if I had done that a million times before. There he was. That face I have been receiving daily mms of every morning on working day for the past 2 months. He looks much better outside. But he's not my boyfriend. I wish he was. He took quite a while just looking at me. Gosh... am I that oogly? Oh well. The exchange of old money to new was made and we made some small talk and then I had to leave again because it is not good to keep a hungry older brother waiting. With a quick goodbye, I was out of the car and making my way back to where I had left my brother and Ame. He drove off. He didn't stay to stare at my fat ass. So he is not my boyfriend. But I like him. And it's not the right thing. So it's strictly business.
We had something to eat at the food court and then after a few phone calls from mom, we were on our way back home.
Sampai kat umah, apa lagi... wallop la rendang, bakso, sup tulang, nasik and macam-macam lagi la yang aku dah lama tunggu nak menjamah. It was great.
Lepas bermalas-malasan, kami semua pergi beli lemang kat Kuang. Yay! Sejak ayah takde, takde siapa yang rajin nak buat lemang. Jaga api tu penat and panas and lama wo... so sebab dah jumpa makcik tu kat Chow Kit, kami cari rumahnya kat Kuang. Senang nak amik lemang. Kalau kat Chow Kit tu, berebut. It was that good, those lemangs she makes. Macam lemang yang ayah buat. Tapi lemang yang ayah buat tetap the best. Padat, lemak, best! I miss them. I miss dad.
Balik umah, nak kemas la kunun. Tapi aku mengantuk and adik aku pun letih. So kami pun tito... Esok pagi tu baru kemas umah. Gila ke apa? Pagi raya baru nak kemas. Sungguh non-orthodox. But that's what happened.
Then bermaaf-maafannya dah tengahari. Keh keh keh... Raya for us is like any other day la... Cuma sebab dia raya je, kita ada lain la sikit ritual tambahan. Then... makan tidur and makan and tidur lagi. Wergh... productive, ain't it?
Lepak kat umah dengan family lebih seronok dari pergi berjalan ke mana-mana on the first day of raya. Aku sangat malas jalan-jalan beraya. Ada la pergi umah jiran tu. Tu je la.
Then Raya kedua pun sama, takde apa yang meriah. My mom cooked up a storm inthe kitchen. L datang. Why? I don't know. We're not a couple, ok? Tah... jangan tanya. Dia nak datang, takkan aku kata jangan. Suka hati la...
Then Raya ketiga baru la kami travel jauh sikit. Balik kampung ke N9. Hehehehe... bukan ada siapa-siapa lagi kat sana. Just visit kubur atuk dan sedara-mara yang dah meninggal lama dulu. Bacakan yassin and doa for them. Then kami patah balik ke Seremban and stopped here and there ke rumah sedara mara yang ada for a visit. Plan nak ke Tampin tak jadi. Sebab? Sebab kak Anim and family balik Muar. Kitorang pun tak call ahead. Takpelah.... melencong ke Melaka and bagusnya Seri Malaysia ada room available! Kami checked in there and bermalam. Petang tu temankan si Fatehah swimming kat pool. Sejam lepas tu ibu call, wah wah wah... handal si Fatehah tu... kang semput, ke spital... Naik lah ke bilik. Dah kena warning dengan omak den. Walaupun W yang call on her behalf, aku boleh dengar suagho omak den mengomel kat belakang tu.
Malamnya, pergi cari makanan. Tapao. Mom was not feeling well and making her go up and down the three levels was not a good idea. So, aku beli 2 set masak asam pedas tetel and ikan kembung dengan nasi. Then order sup tulang and sup cendawan. Then nasi goreng pelbagai jenis; USA, kampung, and cili padi. Then belikan si Fatehah Mee Goreng yang menjadi favourite dia tu. Then singgah Mydin yang besar gila macam Hypermarket tu beli picnic set and other stuff.
Kami picnic dalam bilik. Weeeee!!! Seronoknya!
I am so easily pleased.
Malam tu aku dengan W and Tehah share the queen bed. Ibu tidur kat single bed tu. Lepas kena sepak terajang oleh Tehah, aku tarik bed covering top layer yang lebar dan tebal tu dan aku tidur berbungkus atas lantai. Sungguh selesa! Sebab aku tak suka share katil dengan orang. Sebab kena sepak terajang. And sebab katil tu bergelora bila orang bergerak. Empuk ya amat. Tapi aku tak lena la kalau bergoyang sepanjang malam dek Tehah yang ganeh tu. Adik aku, pergh... lena je.
Then after breakfast the next day, pergi belikan omak den bekfast gak. Omak den tak larat nak naik turun tanggo... konolah poie kuar mencari makanan pulak lepas mewallop bekfast buffet kat hotel.
Then, kami kemas bilik. Wahahaha! Cuma we didn't make the beds je. Sebab? Kesian la kat orang kerja tu. Tak suka la tinggalkan bilik macam tempat buang sampah. Macam sesetengah orang. Memang la diorang bergaji untuk kemas bilik. Tapi tak salah kalau make a little effort. Bukan susah pun. Sampah pun siap kami bungkuskan. Sebab sampah kami banyak... maklum je. Malam tadi and pagi tadi menapao makanan. Yang memang dah terangan jadi perkara larangan. Kalau ibu sihat takpe, boleh semua kuar makan kat kedai sekali.
Balik ke rumah... tetiba Ita text. Betul ke, Marlina meninggal? What kind of sick joke is that? I thought to myself. Tak tahu. Nanti aku mesej balik... Last-last I found out the truth on FB.
I went to her home to hopefully see her one last time.
I saw her and all the tears I had been holding back fell in a steady stream amidst sobs of anguish of not being able to control my emotions among the people who are much much closer to her.
I left before she was taken to the mosque for anothe prayer session. Lucky her. Orang sembahyangkan dia dua kali. Di rumah dan di masjid.
Sementara tu W and mom and T waited for me kat umah W's friend Intan on the other side of the neighbourhood. Dia dah jemput makan, we ate. But biasalah, XXL mana cukup kan, makan kat umah saiz S dan M, maka we headed to a bistro kat South City Plaza and I had another round of Foodtravaganza. Yummmm...
Rabu, aku pergi lunch dengan S. He is such a pleasant person to be with. Kesian dia belum berpunya. Ada sesiapa berminat? Pemuda 37 tahun dari Hyderabad, India. A degree in Civil Engineering, But chooses to be a Juruukur Bahan and also appointed project manager where he is employed. Very lovey dovey touchy feely kind of person with such sweet thoughtful messages throughout the day for anyone he is in love with. And he is a devout Hindu. Rambut kurang tapi masih fit and tall and I think very kemas and proper. If he were Muslim, I would have kept him all to myself. Because he is so sweet to me. And single too.
It was a pleasant lunch we had at KL Sentral Secret Recipe. And I laughed and laughed and laughed till my facial muscles jadi sakit and tegang. Bagus betul duduk berbual dengan S. Dia sangat lucu dan comel. And has a very sunny disposition that he makes you feel the sunny side of life along with him.
I would have kept him there with me longer, but I think it was a long enough time la, to be out of the office on a working day. So I let him go. W hantar ke KL Sentral tadi. Baliknya, aku balik naik Komuter. S belikan tiket sampai ke Seremban.
W amik kat depan stesen komuter. Then pergi mana ek? Hmm... Oh... Pergi Banting. Beli kain for Mak Sitam. Then ke Jenjarum tengok anak-anak buah yang dah balik ke sana on Monday night. Then ke Putrajaya, beli ayam di Mydin. Then balik.
The next morning, A messaged me. I am in KL. Can we meet at KL Sentral? Aduh mama... Malas betul nak berjumpa-jumpaan dah dekat dekat nak balik ke tempat bertugas ni. Sangkanya dah tak jadi cuz senyap je dia. Tetiba kata dah sampai. Kalau dekat, mau je aku kata aku kat Johor. Tapi ni, dia dari Terengganu nu ha. Hais... OKlah, see you there.
W hantar lagi. Tatau la napa dia rajin nak hantar.... 20 mins je kalau dia hantar. Tapi boleh je kalau aku naik komuter. Tapi maybe because dia bosan, maka dia hantar la juga.
A dah tunggu di sana. When I got there, dia tengah baca paper. He did seem terkejut when he saw me. Hurgh... Yes, I am FAT. Get over it.
Control habis dia... kept on baca paper sambil cakap-cakap small talk with me. Flew in from Terengganu pagi tadi. And balik malam esok. As I am going to balik too.
We ordered some lunch and when the food came, macam marathon makan. Bukan dia makan lahap. Just very quick. Aku je yang terkulat-kulat. Naik segan pulak makan slow macam slow loris. Slow loris pun boleh kecik ati dibuatnya.
Lepas habis lunch dia ajak pergi driving-driving. Ke mana? Tak tahu... Pergi Alamanda? OK. Tengok wayang? Ada kerja la, kena jumpa publisher. Hmm... Round-round kat masjid tu je la.
Then he dropped me off at home. Hmm... Then? Kawan called to go to her place for some makan-makan. Hmm... berbelah bahagi. Nak pergi, tak tahu rumah. And my brother and his family are coming over to spend the night with us sebab malam tu je la last chance nak gather all the not so many people in my little extended family tu. Aku tak nak kuar. Aku nak stay at home malam last tu and main dengan anak-anak buah. Aku called them back and told them I am not coming. Even gathering dengan Diane and Aina pun postponed until the next time I will be in KL.
Pagi Sabtu kemas barang. Senja, kuar ke airport. L tunggu kat sana. Jumpa last time katanya. Whatever.
Checked myself in. And waited with my family for the time for me to go in. L called and asked me to go outside and see him in the car. The day he came to my mom's place, he asked me to come along with him to buy his work shirts. But we had an argument and I didn't want to go. I didn't understand why he wanted me to tag along. Jadi tukang angkat barang kah?
Anyway, he said sorry. For what? For the argument and for being mad at you and making you feel sad. But you said it wasn't an argument. I know you were upset about it. So? I feel bad about that so I apologize. OK... (Whatever you say, Mister).
We talked a little bit more and then my mom called me. What you doin taking so long? We're waiting for you at the entrance to the departure hall. OK OK...
Bubbyelah awak. I gotta go. Boarding is at 8.45, I still haven't said goodbye to my family yet. OK.
Got out of the car, didn't even turn back to watch him drive away. Will we meet again? I have no idea. I hope so. But not betting on it.
Went and looked for my family and they were right where my mom said they were. I kissed and hugged everyone and was ready to go when it was told that the flight was delayed, over the PA system. from 9.15 to 9.45. I wonder what was the matter. We sat around some more at the playground behind the entrance. Then I went in, everybody waved goodbye through the glass wall that faces the escalator that goes down to the departure halls. My brother took pictures of me going down the escalator. Walked a looong distance to Gate A8. And waited for ten minutes before the call for boarding came on. I was on the plane in 15 minutes or so and spent another half an hour waiting for inbound passengers from Auckland. Didn't really matter. I'd get there LATE no matter how quickly we departed that night.
MH64 bound for Inchon, Korea was a bumpy ride. The landing was rough too. Maybe the weather was working againts the flight crew that time. I'm glad we got there safe and sound. Thanks to all the flight crew. I had plenty of iced water to keep me hydrated during the long wait and the flight itself.
Left KKIA in an aiport taxi at around 1.30 am and checked in at Tang. Changed and went to sleep in the King-sised bed all alone. The room felt huge. All the better for me to soak in the 'back for work and away from family again' feeling. No need to call Nannette yet. As arranged, she will come by the next afternoon in my car, and we'll have lunch before I drop her off at her school.
The TV was on, droning in the background, the lights were off and I was blinking endlessly as I stared at the ceiling, as the light from the TV set flickered all over the room. Sleep, please take over and take me away to that happy place.
It was probably 3 in the morning before I finally dozed off. The phone alarm went off at 6. But I didn't get out of bed till 8.30 and went down for breakfast at 9. Came back up 45 minutes later. Sat back in the bed under the covers savouring the last few moments I will spend in the cool air-conditioned room. It's doing wonders to the rashes on my face I developed over the week at home. I can't stand the sun I learned over the week. My skin blew into red, bumpy, blotchy rashes all over my cheeks and chin when the weather got too hot. It looked like the face of the moon. It bothered me a little. But L, S and A said they didn't see it. Yeah I complained about it to them too. I can be so vain sometimes. Nah... just don't want them to think that my face is permanently like that if they did notice it.
Well, the ac certainly did wonders on it. The redness went away and the angry and moist bumps subsided overnight. It was almost gone by the time I got back to Lawas, with the car ac full blast straight to my face. Bertuah punya pipi ni... Kena cari hubby kaya la nampaknya, tak tahan panas. Sungguh mengecewakan kerana selama ni aku sangka aku kebal. Merempit masa U dulu tidak cukup untuk mengeraskan kulit muka ku rupanya.
Got out of bed, mandi lagi sekali. Rasa macam tak mandi je sebelum turun breakfast tadi. And lagipun it's going to be a long drive to Lawas. Sure panas berpeluh juga nanti. Slow slow, pakai mekap. Keringkan rambut. Packing barang semula. Pakai baju.
Nannette messaged. She said she will be along in a few moments. I came down to the lobby and checked out. I forgot my mom's rendang in the fridge. I came back later to claim it and send one container to kak Ina' place and had nasi ayam with her before I left.
Nannette waited in the car at the VIP parking lot while I settled the bill. Then we waited for Mae. Then we went and had lunch of sushi at Dreamfood at CP. We talked about Marlina. The limited memories we had with her was enough to show that she was indeed a wonderful person, inside and out.
I messaged Marlene earlier and asked if she wanted to go back to Lawas with me. Yes, we're coming with you. Zy ada ni. Oh... OK. Ada Mae and Susan ni sekali. Sempit sikit la tapi muat, kalau tak kisah. Makan la dulu. Kami baru duduk kat tempat makan ni. OK, kami pun lapar.
Lepas lunch, we walked a little bit around Palm Square. Hati masih tak seronok, masih di KL. So, mood nak membelah tu tak sekuat biasa. Dah puas jalan, returned to the car and drove off to Likas. Dropped Nannette off and said goodbye to her. Went to thecourthouse to pick up Susan. Raced to KKIA and picked up the other two. Dropped them off at Sunny for groceries while I went to Menggatal to drop off the rendang. Kak Ina, macam biasa suruh join makan nasi ayam dia baru siap masak. Lynette si Langkah Kanan. What can I say? Dah lunch kena lunch lagi. Terimalah hakikat, rezeki aku memang murah... Alhamdulillah.
Lepas tu pergi ambil diorang balik, and drove back to Lawas. Kul 8 sampai. Had dinner at Sugarbun dengan Marlene, Susan and Mae. Sebelum tu nak langgar jalan yang ditutup untuk bina Seri Malaysia tu. Degil. Rupanya ada pilon concrete dilintangkan kat tengah jalan, tak kasi orang lalu. Hehehehe... patah balik and amik jalan sunyi kat belakang Pejabat Daerah. Saja nak tengok. Dah lama benar ditutup jalan tu. Diorang pasang cerucuk kat tengah-tengah jalan tu. I drove around them like a slithering snake. Tapi tak lepas juga because pilon yang melintang jalan tu, macam aral yang melintang, katanya! Patah balik, retraced our route.
Lepas tu balik rumah. Mandi. Jiwa masih lesu from the trip back. I miss home. And the uncertainty of having three suitors that I don't even know what to do with. Jumpa so they all muntah and tak nak jumpa aku lagi. Mana aku tahu diorang okay je dengan aku with me being the way I am. Since none of them have declared their feelings for me, I guess there is nothing wrong in being friends with all three and let time do its work.
Spare me your morality. I am an amoral being. Nothing you can say about this will waver my resolve. Cewah. Statement berani mati of the century. Perlu ke?
Let time do its work. I am tired of putting too much hope on anything. Life is much better when you just let everything fall into place by itself. Continually putting yourself in situations prone to heartache will only age you. I do not want to look older than I am as I am already fat. Do not want to add OLD to the repertoire. Well, we all grow old. Just rambling.
Logged on. Replied FB messages. Checked the YIM. Quiet night. Read Dee-Listed. Went to sleep. Esoknya sekolah... sampai pencen la aku ke 'sekolah'.
My Raya. All I would want it to be. Except for the part where Marlina left us to be with God. May her soul rest in peace.
Read at your own risk. You have been forewarned.
And leave your morality at the door.
And when I say play-by-play, I do MEAN play-by-play.
Raya tahun ini;
Memandangkan aku tak nak lagi menangis sambil driving macam Schumacher and menyeranah
all the people of Brunei and Sabah and Sarawak kerana menyesakkan jalanraya ke KK pada petang Jumaat, sebab silap ambil tiket kul 4.25 pm, aku tempah tiket malam Sabtu. Ha.... gila kan? Ye... walaupun aku tahu raya will be on Sunday morning. Memang, aku sendiri pun kata gila.Tapi kan... yang mentensikan aku ialah the fact that the Govmen was so gracious as to grant us an off day on Friday. The night before. Tak ke panas hati ko? I am thankful. Don't get me wrong. Tapi if giving us a day off means we have to part with another RM500 of our hard-earned money, takpelah... simpan je cuti tu untuk Xmas ke apa ke. Wah! First time I marah kan gomen online cemnih! Iyelah, dah tiket Sabtu nak tukar ke Jumaat on such a short notice... Harus kena fine apa bagai. And worse come to worse, tak boleh tukar tiket, kena beli tiket lain, yang confirm dalam RM300 - RM500 lagi. Mak takde abang untuk memohon belas ihsan. So memandangkan penasihat kewangan mak tu kata membazir beli tiket tuh, mak pun tak beli la... Penasihat kewangan mak tau mak tak pandai urus duit. So kena tanya dia bagus ke tak, kalau ada apa-apa keputusan berkaitan kewangan. FOC wo... kalau guna AKPK kena bayar tak, agaknya?
Anyway, memandangkan Jumaat dapat cuti... Terima kasih Datuk... kami pun plan gerak dari Lawas on Friday tu la juga. Ada yang nak gerak petang Khamis. Tapi lepas fikir pasal kerja yang belum lunas sebelum cuti ni, cancel la tu... kami setuju gerak pagi Jumaat.
Kul 10.30 am, I bawa keta pergi umah Zy, picked up Mae, Zy and Susan. Kami berempat la je... Marlene dah pergi dulu the day before tumpang SG. Siapa SG? Hahahahaha... ada la. Nanti wa citer kalau ada masa.
Sampai di KK, hantar Susan kat courthouse, kawan dia tunggu kat situ. Then hantar Zy ke airport. Then check in kat Tang. Then petang tu pergi umah kak Ina lepas tunggu Mae jumpa abang dia yang turun dari Tamparuli nak kirim sayuran kepada family dia di Kuching via adiknya Mae yang nak balik ke Kuching tu.
Oh ye, berbuka dulu dengan Mae. Dia memang tak puasa, tapi temankan I berbuka. Dia belanja lak tu. Thank you, Mae! Ingatkan nak pergi ke Kenny Roger's. But lepas check in letih, driving all morning and then ke sana ke mari lagi. Rehat la dulu kunun.... Sampai kat CP dah full house katanya. Oh... sedey... Teringatlah ada Secret Recipe kat Palm Square, ke sana la kami. Nasib baik ada a few tables lagi belum taken up. Terus directed to our seats by the owner of that brach yang kebetulan ada kat branch tu malam tu. I tegur him macam biasa and he said ya ya, saya sudah belah dua, sana pun saya jaga... oh, bukan you ada twin ka? I asked him. Ada lagi satu branch dia kat Warisan Square right across the street from CP.
I had stewed lamb with rice and veggies, while Mae had Shrimp Macaroni and Cheese. They were both really good. I only had plain water because of the rice I have taken. Limiting my sugar intake the best I can because my body does not need the simple sugars. And Mae had the ever manis and masam Apple and Lime and Somboi. Ada Somboi lagi tu...
Then baru pergi umah kak Ina kat Menggatal. Ingat nak jumpa dia je and beraya dengan anak-anak dia sambil hantar beras yang dia suka sangat tu.
Nak tahu? Kak Ina bagi aku 7 buku cheese sponge cake with cheddar cheese topping. 7 buku. Bagi. SEVEN. FOC. Aku cuma bawakan dia beras Bario je tau? Kak Ina memang baik... Terima kasih kak Ina. Sebelum balik ni nak tempah. Kali ni nak beli. Memang sedap kek dia. Mewah cream cheese dan cheddar cheese berparut, tapi dia charge RM10 je sebuku tau? Aku bangga kawan dengan dia.
Cikgu-cikgu sekitar KK pun untung ada dia kat sana. Beli kat dia RM10, jual kat orang RM13 or RM15 pun orang kata murah lagi. Beli la banyak-banyak woi! Biar murah rezeki kak Ina and anak-anak dia.
I had the whole of Saturday morning free. Ingatkan nak bangun sahur sebab jalan jauh esok nieh.... hurm... takdenye... Tidur sampai tengahari. Oh, hidup bujang, time macam tu memang best. Tapi kenang-kenang balik... hais.... :-)
Kul 5 pagi tu bangun dah, hantar Majorie pergi airport... flight dia sangat awal pagi tu. Tak mandi pun aku. Just wash my face and brush my teeth jer. Lepas hantar Mae, aku balik ke hotel and sambung tidor... bagus tul puasa aku hari tu kan?
Later on, bangun, mandi, kemas barang, aku check out. Aku kuar awal la sikit sebab tahu hari ni last day of shopping untuk warga KK sebelum Aidilfitri. Mesti jam gila punya. Memang pun. Berputar 5 - 6 kali aku mencari parking space kat pasar tu. Sematanya nak belikan udang kering mak aku 2kg. Tapi puas hati... 2kg udang kering telah diperolehi dengan jayanya dengan harga yang berpatutan. Tak la aku balik dengan tangan kosong untuk omak den.
Lepas tu, teringat, aku tak print tiket aku lagi yang masih dalam email. Wahahahaha... pelupa betul! Dengan udang kering di tangan, dah dekat nak sampai kereta, aku patah balik ke pasar, menyeberang ke Plaza Warisan and masuk ke dalam mencari cybercafe. Jumpa la sebijik. Bayar RM1.50, aku guna untuk 3 minit je. Mamat tu kata apa tak cakap nak guna 5 minit je, boleh bayar 50sen je bah. Mana aku tahu? Print pun RM1.20 lagi. Apa-apa je lah labu. Bukan habis RM5 pun. Takpe...
Tadi aku dah cemas dah sebenarnya sebab keta banyak nak mam*** kat KK hari tu. Nak berkejar ke SM Teknik Likas pulak lagi. Tapi by the time I got the tiket printed out, baru makan masa 1 jam dari keluar hotel tadi. Alhamdulillah. I have ample time lagi. Terus ke kereta and campak udang kering ke back seat and drove to SM Teknik Likas ikut jalan shoreline. Traffic was heavy but moving. Memandangkan Nannette belum sampai, aku kemas barang lagi. Balut udang kering dengan aluminum foil untuk elak baunya menyerap ke dalam baju-baju aku dalam luggage. Then taped shut the kotak yang Mak Sitam kirimkan before I left Sund@r after school yesterday. Then melihatkan Nannette belum sampai, aku masuk balik dalam keta and aku pun terlelap. Mata aku memang best. Dia kalau bosan je, terus masuk sleep mode. Macam laptop... conserve battery githoo.
Selepas terlelap beberapa kali menunggu Nannette, aku rebahkan sikit tempat duduk tu, and terus terlena. Sampai lah aku dengar suara terkejut "Oh My GOD!" si Nannette yang dah berpusing mencari aku tapi tak nampak, terkejut tengok aku rupanya ada dalam keta, tidur dengan lena.
Pindah masuk barang dalam kereta barunyer, and kami pergilah ke KKIA. Dia tinggalkan aku kat situ and aku pun pergi check in. Sebelum aku masuk ke balai berlepas, aku teringat... mana Cinonet aku ek? Oh my God!!! Aku cicirkan kat mana? Then teringat aku maybe tertinggal dalam keta Nannette. Gosh... I called her and she called me back dia kat Karamunsing masa tu. Bila dia balik ke kereta dia mesej aku, ada la dalam keta dia. Kat backseat. Lahaulawala... It's so small, aku boleh terlupa nak amik dia. Hmm... takkan nak suh Nat hantar pulak, kan? Biarlah, Nannette simpankan je cuti ni.
Aku pun masuk departure hall. Tak sabar nak fly balik!
On Saturday evening, September 19th, 2009 at about 4.15pm, MH65 took off from KKIA bound for KLIA. The two-and-half- hour flight, I spent napping and napping and napping again. It was still Ramadhan. So the food served onboard the flight was tapao'ed. And enjoying the empty isle seat next to me, with my own seat being on the side of the window. Bliss! How I wish all my flights are like that.
When I got to the KLIA, my brother was already waiting. Previously, there was a misunderstanding. My sister also wanted to come by and pick me up and take me home. But then, my brother had told me earlier on that he would do it. But as it got closer to the date I was due to fly in, they realized there will be a big crowd waiting for me at the airport if they all decide to go to the airport and get me. So a compromise was struck, my sister was let off the hook, and my brother waited for me at the airport with his family tagging along.
I was in my brown Ipanema flip flops, jeans and a black GAP long sleeve shirt with no make up. Gosh, I looked like one of those celebs who got off the plane after a long transatlantic flight. Except for the fact that I am fat and I am no celeb.
The luggage always took forever to get to the baggae claim, so I headed to the restroom. Just as the azan was coming on, I learned that I had in fact, started my periods a few hours prior. So the puasa that day was hangus. Takpe. It was a very stressless and strainless fasting day for me anyway. I freshened up and changed into a light pink long-sleeved shirt and put on some make up and brushed my hair. I look so much better. I don't like looking like a sick person when I get off the plane because then I would worry my family. And a certain L was waiting for me in his car, to exchange the old one ringgit notes I got from a bank in Lawas for duit raya with new ones he got from his bank as I had requested a few days before my flight home.
I got my luggage and box from the carousel, and took out my heels and slipped them on before rolling the trolley out. My eyes scanned my perimeter for a familiar face, until I heard that familiar voice calling my name. "Ci' Na...!" It was Ame my nephew, waiting for me with his dad on the left side among the teksi haram drivers. No wonder la aku tak nampak diorang. Aku memang tak suka pandang arah tu.
Kak Ain the SIL was nowhere in sight, she is probably at the food court having something for iftar. Since Banes pun baru sampai dari JB with his family, he's probably penat gila and hungry too and we proceeded to get to the lower level where the food court is. But then I got a phone call from that certain L and I had to go find him outside.
He drove by in in WQR2**8 and stopped a few meters ahead of me. He reversed a little and I walked up a little to it. I opened the door and got in as if I had done that a million times before. There he was. That face I have been receiving daily mms of every morning on working day for the past 2 months. He looks much better outside. But he's not my boyfriend. I wish he was. He took quite a while just looking at me. Gosh... am I that oogly? Oh well. The exchange of old money to new was made and we made some small talk and then I had to leave again because it is not good to keep a hungry older brother waiting. With a quick goodbye, I was out of the car and making my way back to where I had left my brother and Ame. He drove off. He didn't stay to stare at my fat ass. So he is not my boyfriend. But I like him. And it's not the right thing. So it's strictly business.
We had something to eat at the food court and then after a few phone calls from mom, we were on our way back home.
Sampai kat umah, apa lagi... wallop la rendang, bakso, sup tulang, nasik and macam-macam lagi la yang aku dah lama tunggu nak menjamah. It was great.
Lepas bermalas-malasan, kami semua pergi beli lemang kat Kuang. Yay! Sejak ayah takde, takde siapa yang rajin nak buat lemang. Jaga api tu penat and panas and lama wo... so sebab dah jumpa makcik tu kat Chow Kit, kami cari rumahnya kat Kuang. Senang nak amik lemang. Kalau kat Chow Kit tu, berebut. It was that good, those lemangs she makes. Macam lemang yang ayah buat. Tapi lemang yang ayah buat tetap the best. Padat, lemak, best! I miss them. I miss dad.
Balik umah, nak kemas la kunun. Tapi aku mengantuk and adik aku pun letih. So kami pun tito... Esok pagi tu baru kemas umah. Gila ke apa? Pagi raya baru nak kemas. Sungguh non-orthodox. But that's what happened.
Then bermaaf-maafannya dah tengahari. Keh keh keh... Raya for us is like any other day la... Cuma sebab dia raya je, kita ada lain la sikit ritual tambahan. Then... makan tidur and makan and tidur lagi. Wergh... productive, ain't it?
Lepak kat umah dengan family lebih seronok dari pergi berjalan ke mana-mana on the first day of raya. Aku sangat malas jalan-jalan beraya. Ada la pergi umah jiran tu. Tu je la.
Then Raya kedua pun sama, takde apa yang meriah. My mom cooked up a storm inthe kitchen. L datang. Why? I don't know. We're not a couple, ok? Tah... jangan tanya. Dia nak datang, takkan aku kata jangan. Suka hati la...
Then Raya ketiga baru la kami travel jauh sikit. Balik kampung ke N9. Hehehehe... bukan ada siapa-siapa lagi kat sana. Just visit kubur atuk dan sedara-mara yang dah meninggal lama dulu. Bacakan yassin and doa for them. Then kami patah balik ke Seremban and stopped here and there ke rumah sedara mara yang ada for a visit. Plan nak ke Tampin tak jadi. Sebab? Sebab kak Anim and family balik Muar. Kitorang pun tak call ahead. Takpelah.... melencong ke Melaka and bagusnya Seri Malaysia ada room available! Kami checked in there and bermalam. Petang tu temankan si Fatehah swimming kat pool. Sejam lepas tu ibu call, wah wah wah... handal si Fatehah tu... kang semput, ke spital... Naik lah ke bilik. Dah kena warning dengan omak den. Walaupun W yang call on her behalf, aku boleh dengar suagho omak den mengomel kat belakang tu.
Malamnya, pergi cari makanan. Tapao. Mom was not feeling well and making her go up and down the three levels was not a good idea. So, aku beli 2 set masak asam pedas tetel and ikan kembung dengan nasi. Then order sup tulang and sup cendawan. Then nasi goreng pelbagai jenis; USA, kampung, and cili padi. Then belikan si Fatehah Mee Goreng yang menjadi favourite dia tu. Then singgah Mydin yang besar gila macam Hypermarket tu beli picnic set and other stuff.
Kami picnic dalam bilik. Weeeee!!! Seronoknya!
I am so easily pleased.
Malam tu aku dengan W and Tehah share the queen bed. Ibu tidur kat single bed tu. Lepas kena sepak terajang oleh Tehah, aku tarik bed covering top layer yang lebar dan tebal tu dan aku tidur berbungkus atas lantai. Sungguh selesa! Sebab aku tak suka share katil dengan orang. Sebab kena sepak terajang. And sebab katil tu bergelora bila orang bergerak. Empuk ya amat. Tapi aku tak lena la kalau bergoyang sepanjang malam dek Tehah yang ganeh tu. Adik aku, pergh... lena je.
Then after breakfast the next day, pergi belikan omak den bekfast gak. Omak den tak larat nak naik turun tanggo... konolah poie kuar mencari makanan pulak lepas mewallop bekfast buffet kat hotel.
Then, kami kemas bilik. Wahahaha! Cuma we didn't make the beds je. Sebab? Kesian la kat orang kerja tu. Tak suka la tinggalkan bilik macam tempat buang sampah. Macam sesetengah orang. Memang la diorang bergaji untuk kemas bilik. Tapi tak salah kalau make a little effort. Bukan susah pun. Sampah pun siap kami bungkuskan. Sebab sampah kami banyak... maklum je. Malam tadi and pagi tadi menapao makanan. Yang memang dah terangan jadi perkara larangan. Kalau ibu sihat takpe, boleh semua kuar makan kat kedai sekali.
Balik ke rumah... tetiba Ita text. Betul ke, Marlina meninggal? What kind of sick joke is that? I thought to myself. Tak tahu. Nanti aku mesej balik... Last-last I found out the truth on FB.
I went to her home to hopefully see her one last time.
I saw her and all the tears I had been holding back fell in a steady stream amidst sobs of anguish of not being able to control my emotions among the people who are much much closer to her.
I left before she was taken to the mosque for anothe prayer session. Lucky her. Orang sembahyangkan dia dua kali. Di rumah dan di masjid.
Sementara tu W and mom and T waited for me kat umah W's friend Intan on the other side of the neighbourhood. Dia dah jemput makan, we ate. But biasalah, XXL mana cukup kan, makan kat umah saiz S dan M, maka we headed to a bistro kat South City Plaza and I had another round of Foodtravaganza. Yummmm...
Rabu, aku pergi lunch dengan S. He is such a pleasant person to be with. Kesian dia belum berpunya. Ada sesiapa berminat? Pemuda 37 tahun dari Hyderabad, India. A degree in Civil Engineering, But chooses to be a Juruukur Bahan and also appointed project manager where he is employed. Very lovey dovey touchy feely kind of person with such sweet thoughtful messages throughout the day for anyone he is in love with. And he is a devout Hindu. Rambut kurang tapi masih fit and tall and I think very kemas and proper. If he were Muslim, I would have kept him all to myself. Because he is so sweet to me. And single too.
It was a pleasant lunch we had at KL Sentral Secret Recipe. And I laughed and laughed and laughed till my facial muscles jadi sakit and tegang. Bagus betul duduk berbual dengan S. Dia sangat lucu dan comel. And has a very sunny disposition that he makes you feel the sunny side of life along with him.
I would have kept him there with me longer, but I think it was a long enough time la, to be out of the office on a working day. So I let him go. W hantar ke KL Sentral tadi. Baliknya, aku balik naik Komuter. S belikan tiket sampai ke Seremban.
W amik kat depan stesen komuter. Then pergi mana ek? Hmm... Oh... Pergi Banting. Beli kain for Mak Sitam. Then ke Jenjarum tengok anak-anak buah yang dah balik ke sana on Monday night. Then ke Putrajaya, beli ayam di Mydin. Then balik.
The next morning, A messaged me. I am in KL. Can we meet at KL Sentral? Aduh mama... Malas betul nak berjumpa-jumpaan dah dekat dekat nak balik ke tempat bertugas ni. Sangkanya dah tak jadi cuz senyap je dia. Tetiba kata dah sampai. Kalau dekat, mau je aku kata aku kat Johor. Tapi ni, dia dari Terengganu nu ha. Hais... OKlah, see you there.
W hantar lagi. Tatau la napa dia rajin nak hantar.... 20 mins je kalau dia hantar. Tapi boleh je kalau aku naik komuter. Tapi maybe because dia bosan, maka dia hantar la juga.
A dah tunggu di sana. When I got there, dia tengah baca paper. He did seem terkejut when he saw me. Hurgh... Yes, I am FAT. Get over it.
Control habis dia... kept on baca paper sambil cakap-cakap small talk with me. Flew in from Terengganu pagi tadi. And balik malam esok. As I am going to balik too.
We ordered some lunch and when the food came, macam marathon makan. Bukan dia makan lahap. Just very quick. Aku je yang terkulat-kulat. Naik segan pulak makan slow macam slow loris. Slow loris pun boleh kecik ati dibuatnya.
Lepas habis lunch dia ajak pergi driving-driving. Ke mana? Tak tahu... Pergi Alamanda? OK. Tengok wayang? Ada kerja la, kena jumpa publisher. Hmm... Round-round kat masjid tu je la.
Then he dropped me off at home. Hmm... Then? Kawan called to go to her place for some makan-makan. Hmm... berbelah bahagi. Nak pergi, tak tahu rumah. And my brother and his family are coming over to spend the night with us sebab malam tu je la last chance nak gather all the not so many people in my little extended family tu. Aku tak nak kuar. Aku nak stay at home malam last tu and main dengan anak-anak buah. Aku called them back and told them I am not coming. Even gathering dengan Diane and Aina pun postponed until the next time I will be in KL.
Pagi Sabtu kemas barang. Senja, kuar ke airport. L tunggu kat sana. Jumpa last time katanya. Whatever.
Checked myself in. And waited with my family for the time for me to go in. L called and asked me to go outside and see him in the car. The day he came to my mom's place, he asked me to come along with him to buy his work shirts. But we had an argument and I didn't want to go. I didn't understand why he wanted me to tag along. Jadi tukang angkat barang kah?
Anyway, he said sorry. For what? For the argument and for being mad at you and making you feel sad. But you said it wasn't an argument. I know you were upset about it. So? I feel bad about that so I apologize. OK... (Whatever you say, Mister).
We talked a little bit more and then my mom called me. What you doin taking so long? We're waiting for you at the entrance to the departure hall. OK OK...
Bubbyelah awak. I gotta go. Boarding is at 8.45, I still haven't said goodbye to my family yet. OK.
Got out of the car, didn't even turn back to watch him drive away. Will we meet again? I have no idea. I hope so. But not betting on it.
Went and looked for my family and they were right where my mom said they were. I kissed and hugged everyone and was ready to go when it was told that the flight was delayed, over the PA system. from 9.15 to 9.45. I wonder what was the matter. We sat around some more at the playground behind the entrance. Then I went in, everybody waved goodbye through the glass wall that faces the escalator that goes down to the departure halls. My brother took pictures of me going down the escalator. Walked a looong distance to Gate A8. And waited for ten minutes before the call for boarding came on. I was on the plane in 15 minutes or so and spent another half an hour waiting for inbound passengers from Auckland. Didn't really matter. I'd get there LATE no matter how quickly we departed that night.
MH64 bound for Inchon, Korea was a bumpy ride. The landing was rough too. Maybe the weather was working againts the flight crew that time. I'm glad we got there safe and sound. Thanks to all the flight crew. I had plenty of iced water to keep me hydrated during the long wait and the flight itself.
Left KKIA in an aiport taxi at around 1.30 am and checked in at Tang. Changed and went to sleep in the King-sised bed all alone. The room felt huge. All the better for me to soak in the 'back for work and away from family again' feeling. No need to call Nannette yet. As arranged, she will come by the next afternoon in my car, and we'll have lunch before I drop her off at her school.
The TV was on, droning in the background, the lights were off and I was blinking endlessly as I stared at the ceiling, as the light from the TV set flickered all over the room. Sleep, please take over and take me away to that happy place.
It was probably 3 in the morning before I finally dozed off. The phone alarm went off at 6. But I didn't get out of bed till 8.30 and went down for breakfast at 9. Came back up 45 minutes later. Sat back in the bed under the covers savouring the last few moments I will spend in the cool air-conditioned room. It's doing wonders to the rashes on my face I developed over the week at home. I can't stand the sun I learned over the week. My skin blew into red, bumpy, blotchy rashes all over my cheeks and chin when the weather got too hot. It looked like the face of the moon. It bothered me a little. But L, S and A said they didn't see it. Yeah I complained about it to them too. I can be so vain sometimes. Nah... just don't want them to think that my face is permanently like that if they did notice it.
Well, the ac certainly did wonders on it. The redness went away and the angry and moist bumps subsided overnight. It was almost gone by the time I got back to Lawas, with the car ac full blast straight to my face. Bertuah punya pipi ni... Kena cari hubby kaya la nampaknya, tak tahan panas. Sungguh mengecewakan kerana selama ni aku sangka aku kebal. Merempit masa U dulu tidak cukup untuk mengeraskan kulit muka ku rupanya.
Got out of bed, mandi lagi sekali. Rasa macam tak mandi je sebelum turun breakfast tadi. And lagipun it's going to be a long drive to Lawas. Sure panas berpeluh juga nanti. Slow slow, pakai mekap. Keringkan rambut. Packing barang semula. Pakai baju.
Nannette messaged. She said she will be along in a few moments. I came down to the lobby and checked out. I forgot my mom's rendang in the fridge. I came back later to claim it and send one container to kak Ina' place and had nasi ayam with her before I left.
Nannette waited in the car at the VIP parking lot while I settled the bill. Then we waited for Mae. Then we went and had lunch of sushi at Dreamfood at CP. We talked about Marlina. The limited memories we had with her was enough to show that she was indeed a wonderful person, inside and out.
I messaged Marlene earlier and asked if she wanted to go back to Lawas with me. Yes, we're coming with you. Zy ada ni. Oh... OK. Ada Mae and Susan ni sekali. Sempit sikit la tapi muat, kalau tak kisah. Makan la dulu. Kami baru duduk kat tempat makan ni. OK, kami pun lapar.
Lepas lunch, we walked a little bit around Palm Square. Hati masih tak seronok, masih di KL. So, mood nak membelah tu tak sekuat biasa. Dah puas jalan, returned to the car and drove off to Likas. Dropped Nannette off and said goodbye to her. Went to thecourthouse to pick up Susan. Raced to KKIA and picked up the other two. Dropped them off at Sunny for groceries while I went to Menggatal to drop off the rendang. Kak Ina, macam biasa suruh join makan nasi ayam dia baru siap masak. Lynette si Langkah Kanan. What can I say? Dah lunch kena lunch lagi. Terimalah hakikat, rezeki aku memang murah... Alhamdulillah.
Lepas tu pergi ambil diorang balik, and drove back to Lawas. Kul 8 sampai. Had dinner at Sugarbun dengan Marlene, Susan and Mae. Sebelum tu nak langgar jalan yang ditutup untuk bina Seri Malaysia tu. Degil. Rupanya ada pilon concrete dilintangkan kat tengah jalan, tak kasi orang lalu. Hehehehe... patah balik and amik jalan sunyi kat belakang Pejabat Daerah. Saja nak tengok. Dah lama benar ditutup jalan tu. Diorang pasang cerucuk kat tengah-tengah jalan tu. I drove around them like a slithering snake. Tapi tak lepas juga because pilon yang melintang jalan tu, macam aral yang melintang, katanya! Patah balik, retraced our route.
Lepas tu balik rumah. Mandi. Jiwa masih lesu from the trip back. I miss home. And the uncertainty of having three suitors that I don't even know what to do with. Jumpa so they all muntah and tak nak jumpa aku lagi. Mana aku tahu diorang okay je dengan aku with me being the way I am. Since none of them have declared their feelings for me, I guess there is nothing wrong in being friends with all three and let time do its work.
Spare me your morality. I am an amoral being. Nothing you can say about this will waver my resolve. Cewah. Statement berani mati of the century. Perlu ke?
Let time do its work. I am tired of putting too much hope on anything. Life is much better when you just let everything fall into place by itself. Continually putting yourself in situations prone to heartache will only age you. I do not want to look older than I am as I am already fat. Do not want to add OLD to the repertoire. Well, we all grow old. Just rambling.
Logged on. Replied FB messages. Checked the YIM. Quiet night. Read Dee-Listed. Went to sleep. Esoknya sekolah... sampai pencen la aku ke 'sekolah'.
My Raya. All I would want it to be. Except for the part where Marlina left us to be with God. May her soul rest in peace.
mh65
Balik for raya hari tu, on September 19th, aku fly on MH65 from Inchon, Korea. It was one of the smoothest flights I was ever on. The Take off was smooth, I had a restful nap on the flight. The staff was very nice and accommodating. And the best part was, I had an empty seat next to me. So I got a chance to do some camwhoring.
Then when it came time to land, oh my God... the pilot, whose name I had forgotten, must join the flight academy soon and teach all the other pilots how to fly and land. Because the moment when the tyres touched the tarmac was almost seamless. There was not even a bounce. The plane was sufficiently slowed down moments before touchdown and therefore that was no need for excessive breaking and there was no skidding. At all. I wish I could send him a thank you card for making the flight so pleasant for all of us on board.
To the pilot and all the crew on board MH65 of last September 19th, 2009, my heartiest thank you.
Then when it came time to land, oh my God... the pilot, whose name I had forgotten, must join the flight academy soon and teach all the other pilots how to fly and land. Because the moment when the tyres touched the tarmac was almost seamless. There was not even a bounce. The plane was sufficiently slowed down moments before touchdown and therefore that was no need for excessive breaking and there was no skidding. At all. I wish I could send him a thank you card for making the flight so pleasant for all of us on board.
To the pilot and all the crew on board MH65 of last September 19th, 2009, my heartiest thank you.
Monday, September 28, 2009
marlina
When I move back to KL, I wanted to catch up with old friends. Go out and have coffee with them. Enjoy our time together reminiscing the good old days. I wanted to do that with all my old friends. And one of them was Marlina.
Marlina and I, we were never that close. She has her own clique of friends and I had mine. I live at home during my uni days anyway. So friends were made during classes, and not too much time spent on socializing with them. I didn't feel like they needed my company. So I never made the effort to be closer to them. I enjoyed my time at uni, studying and making new friends. But most of them, I kept at arm's length. I never got close to them. Except for a few select ones, like Jo and Ita.
But Marlina, I will always remember because she is the type of person who has this intense look on her face when she talks to someone. Like everything that comes out of your mouth is cause for world peace or could cure cancer and for that you will have her undivided attention. Nannette reminded me of this about her during our lunch at the sushi place before I left KK yesterday. She does have that look when she talks to you.
And then, I know it was a joint effort, but I suspect she masterminded my surprise birthday party when we were in matriculation. It touched me deeply. How did I end up with all these wonderful people in my life? What had I done to deserve such appreciation? To realize that my presence in their world is duly noted and appreciated. Other collegemates were in on it too, but Marlina has that aura of someone who has had it good in her life and wanted to spread the love and joy to everyone she touches. She is one thoughtful and caring person. And lonely.
When I got the message from Ita, I thought, what kind of sick joke is this? No one should joke about a friend dying. It's one sick joke!!!
Called everyone I had numbers of. They could not confirm the news. So I went on FB and there it was on one of the profile updates, Al-Fatihah, Rest in peace etc. going out to her.... God! Please don't let it be true! I prayed. But it was true. I had a Razmi on my FB. Got his number from his profile and called him straight away. He confirmed it. And her body was at the hospital, for post-mortem as we were talking. He sms'ed me her address. I had only been there once. But W has a friend living close to Marlina's place, so she knows how to get there easy. So, tired from the trip back from Melaka we made the previous day, I showered and got ready for that trip to Marlina's place at Taman Tun.
All I can remember is that it was nice to see familiar faces pour in one by one as we wait for her body to be brought home. I was still in denial that she is really gone. All the way until her body arrived and were brought in. After solat jenazah, they opened up her the covering of her face. It was really her and she is really gone. Our friend Marlina...
She looked peaceful in her eternal sleep. It was the same face we all knew when she was alive. Only more serene and at peace with the world. I could not bring myself to kneel down and kiss her on the forehead, because I did not want to remember the warm and friendly person I once knew was cold to the touch. I don't want to remember her like that.
For all the friends she has, I never knew she could be lonely sometimes. Last phone call I got from her was a month before Ramadhan 09. She called me in the morning. The ringing phone woke me and I was groggy and I talked half-heartedly. It felt like a dream, because we never talked much on the phone. We do keep in touch, but not as often as we should. I never knew she needed a friend from time to time to get her through those times. She never tells me explicitly that she was ever lonely. The cavewoman that I am does not detect subtlety. She should have banged it on my head so I'd get it. If I knew that was the last time I was ever gonna her voice, I would have said more and called her back just to keep her on the phone with me.
I wish I had called her on all of the trips I made home. I wish I called her more often. I wish I'd made all our phone calls more meaningful. I wish she was still alive.
But that is too late now, because on September 23rd, 2009 she succumbed to her long time illness, a blood disorder that we never knew about. She collapsed while having lunch with her cousin at The Curve. Attempts at reviving her failed. She was taken to a nearby clinic. But everything was in vain. She was gone.
Untuk keluarga Marlina, semoga mereka dapat menempuh dugaan ini dengan sebaiknya. I can't even imagine losing someone as lovely as her. She spent the whole of last year nursing her parents who were recovering from a horrific accident in Kuantan, back to health She did her duties as a daughter well.
For dearest Marlina, semoga rohmu ditempatkan di dalam kalangan roh mereka yang beriman dan dekat dengan Allah SWT. Your pure soul belongs with them. Rest in peace, dear friend. You are deeply missed. Sampai masa, kita pasti bersua kembali.
Marlina and I, we were never that close. She has her own clique of friends and I had mine. I live at home during my uni days anyway. So friends were made during classes, and not too much time spent on socializing with them. I didn't feel like they needed my company. So I never made the effort to be closer to them. I enjoyed my time at uni, studying and making new friends. But most of them, I kept at arm's length. I never got close to them. Except for a few select ones, like Jo and Ita.
But Marlina, I will always remember because she is the type of person who has this intense look on her face when she talks to someone. Like everything that comes out of your mouth is cause for world peace or could cure cancer and for that you will have her undivided attention. Nannette reminded me of this about her during our lunch at the sushi place before I left KK yesterday. She does have that look when she talks to you.
And then, I know it was a joint effort, but I suspect she masterminded my surprise birthday party when we were in matriculation. It touched me deeply. How did I end up with all these wonderful people in my life? What had I done to deserve such appreciation? To realize that my presence in their world is duly noted and appreciated. Other collegemates were in on it too, but Marlina has that aura of someone who has had it good in her life and wanted to spread the love and joy to everyone she touches. She is one thoughtful and caring person. And lonely.
When I got the message from Ita, I thought, what kind of sick joke is this? No one should joke about a friend dying. It's one sick joke!!!
Called everyone I had numbers of. They could not confirm the news. So I went on FB and there it was on one of the profile updates, Al-Fatihah, Rest in peace etc. going out to her.... God! Please don't let it be true! I prayed. But it was true. I had a Razmi on my FB. Got his number from his profile and called him straight away. He confirmed it. And her body was at the hospital, for post-mortem as we were talking. He sms'ed me her address. I had only been there once. But W has a friend living close to Marlina's place, so she knows how to get there easy. So, tired from the trip back from Melaka we made the previous day, I showered and got ready for that trip to Marlina's place at Taman Tun.
All I can remember is that it was nice to see familiar faces pour in one by one as we wait for her body to be brought home. I was still in denial that she is really gone. All the way until her body arrived and were brought in. After solat jenazah, they opened up her the covering of her face. It was really her and she is really gone. Our friend Marlina...
She looked peaceful in her eternal sleep. It was the same face we all knew when she was alive. Only more serene and at peace with the world. I could not bring myself to kneel down and kiss her on the forehead, because I did not want to remember the warm and friendly person I once knew was cold to the touch. I don't want to remember her like that.
For all the friends she has, I never knew she could be lonely sometimes. Last phone call I got from her was a month before Ramadhan 09. She called me in the morning. The ringing phone woke me and I was groggy and I talked half-heartedly. It felt like a dream, because we never talked much on the phone. We do keep in touch, but not as often as we should. I never knew she needed a friend from time to time to get her through those times. She never tells me explicitly that she was ever lonely. The cavewoman that I am does not detect subtlety. She should have banged it on my head so I'd get it. If I knew that was the last time I was ever gonna her voice, I would have said more and called her back just to keep her on the phone with me.
I wish I had called her on all of the trips I made home. I wish I called her more often. I wish I'd made all our phone calls more meaningful. I wish she was still alive.
But that is too late now, because on September 23rd, 2009 she succumbed to her long time illness, a blood disorder that we never knew about. She collapsed while having lunch with her cousin at The Curve. Attempts at reviving her failed. She was taken to a nearby clinic. But everything was in vain. She was gone.
Untuk keluarga Marlina, semoga mereka dapat menempuh dugaan ini dengan sebaiknya. I can't even imagine losing someone as lovely as her. She spent the whole of last year nursing her parents who were recovering from a horrific accident in Kuantan, back to health She did her duties as a daughter well.
For dearest Marlina, semoga rohmu ditempatkan di dalam kalangan roh mereka yang beriman dan dekat dengan Allah SWT. Your pure soul belongs with them. Rest in peace, dear friend. You are deeply missed. Sampai masa, kita pasti bersua kembali.
Marlina
1976 - 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
omg omg omg!
I haven't been updating this blog for a while now. I know, I know.... but tonight, before I went to bed, I went to see one of my fave gossip pages online and look what I found....? I just HAD to post this one tonight, because it is awesome.
Yes, Mek Wok Kundor is on D-Listed! Go Mek Wok!
Don't forget to read the comment box. Hilarity! Team Tok Wook indeed!
"Mek Wok Kundor - Erica Kane really has nothing on this lady right here. Mek Wok is 107-years-old and is searching for her 23rd husband. So if you see homegirl on Match.com, give her a poke.
Mek's current husband is currently treating his addiction to the bad shit in rehab in Kuala Lumpur. Mek thinks that's when he busts out of there, he's going to leave her for a younger piece. And get this shit, Mek's husband is only 37-years-old! This is beyond cougar shit. "(I am rofl here)
Read the rest of the entry here.
Yes, Mek Wok Kundor is on D-Listed! Go Mek Wok!
Don't forget to read the comment box. Hilarity! Team Tok Wook indeed!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
no, seriously...
Have you ever seen a serious baby? I have never seen one. But here's one on YouTube. Came across this hilarity a long time ago and have forgotten about him until tonight. One cute albeit serious baby, non?
cool bike
Would you buy this bike if it were on market here?
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/04/uno_cycle_looks_like_it_has_on.php
I would. Cuz it's way cooler than a Segway.
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/04/uno_cycle_looks_like_it_has_on.php
I would. Cuz it's way cooler than a Segway.
backstroke of the west?
Don't you just love bad translations?
http://winterson.com/2009/01/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west-redux.html
http://winterson.com/2009/01/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west-redux.html
Sunday, August 23, 2009
best break up story ever told
Her husband was offered a job in India, and things were never the same again for her. So she made this movie.
Sita Sings the Blues, they said, is the best break up story ever told. I spent hours watching it again and again on YouTube last night. It's the Ramayana made easy. Great animation and Annette Hanshaw makes me appreciate 1920's jazz. It's so sad that this movie can't make it to the academy awards due to copyright laws.
Some men will always be men, thinking they are doing the right thing, and they say women are cruel. Eventhough Rama treated Sita very cruelly, she remained chaste and faithful to her husband until the very end.
deleted
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:01:46 PM): syg
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:01:53 PM): at times
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:02 PM): we have to really give in
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:24 PM): coz the distance is really testing our patience
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:31 PM): i love u too
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:35 PM): i miss u
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:48 PM): i just hope
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:59 PM): u can let me have ur hp num
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:03:14 PM): lot of things can be answered
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:18 PM): 01988xxxxx
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:30 PM): lupa dah ye.... ish ish ish....
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:44 PM): pening sangat la tu ...ish ish ish...
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:52:03 PM): I don't hate you, syg. Just delete my photos. It was nice while it lasted. All the best in your life and future undertakings.
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:01:53 PM): at times
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:02 PM): we have to really give in
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:24 PM): coz the distance is really testing our patience
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:31 PM): i love u too
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:35 PM): i miss u
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:48 PM): i just hope
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:02:59 PM): u can let me have ur hp num
mr mysterious (8/22/2009 7:03:14 PM): lot of things can be answered
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:18 PM): 01988xxxxx
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:30 PM): lupa dah ye.... ish ish ish....
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:25:44 PM): pening sangat la tu ...ish ish ish...
Little Lulu (8/22/2009 9:52:03 PM): I don't hate you, syg. Just delete my photos. It was nice while it lasted. All the best in your life and future undertakings.
You'd wonder why she got so mad at him for asking for her number and wanting to call her so that "a lot of things can be answered" that she decided to simply walk away. That's just fine and dandy really. The only problem is, he's had her number for the past two months and has been having video calls with her every day all the while. Talk about being busted.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
ganguro ho ho ho....
Here's another look I should seriously consider...
Watch her other videos. And remember not to leave stupid comments. She is JOKING. And I love her videos. ALL of them. Don't let your negative comments make her stop making her AWESOME videos.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
squirrelize!
So this squirrel totally crashed this couples photo while they were visiting the Banff
Wildlife Park when it heard the camera auto focusing itself.You can read the story here : http://www.ktiv.com/Global/story.asp?S=10940990
Now you can squirrelize any photo you want by visiting this page. Just follow the instructions and you can include the funny little critter in any photo of your choice.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
cool lah sangat ko tu...?
I had lunch with a homeless guy sliding down a hill because I'm cool like that.
Got this simple and funny tag from this blog arnabgumuk
Hope he doesn't mind.
Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama
What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!
It's fun... Just follow the instructions and construct a sentence that describes your cool factor based on the numbers in your birthday.
Got this simple and funny tag from this blog arnabgumuk
Hope he doesn't mind.
Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama
What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!
It's fun... Just follow the instructions and construct a sentence that describes your cool factor based on the numbers in your birthday.
towang-towang
Aku sorang.
Aku sorang kat umah ni sejak minggu lepas. Aku sangat gembira. Sebab I have the house all to myself.
Selain bawak lelaki balik and buat perkara tak senonoh, apa je aku tak wat di rumah ni. Werghehehe.... bestnya dok sorang-sorang sesekali macam ni.
Don't worry. Aku tak miserable or lonely. I am savoring the moment actually. Kalau sunyi aku lepak umah hujung sana.
Pagi tadi aku buat nasi lemak and bawak pergi sana and makan ramai-ramai. The stupid rice cooker almost ruined a perfectly good breakfast fare. Lembik nasi lemak ku kerana berendam dalam santan lebih sejam, sebab the stupid rice cooker pergi bantai 'keep warm' nya nasi lemak aku. Aku angkat dia letak atas api kat stove. Masak pun, albeit lembik sikit.
Aku tak pandai goreng ikan bilis and kacang. Tapi aku beranikan diri dan lepas menghanguskan 2 batch, I finally end up with perfectly crispy and crunchy fried anchovies and peanuts. I made the sambal the night before. Peeled the cucumber and boiled the eggs the night before as well.
Lepas kenyang, lepak-lepak. Dorang ramai-ramai cabut my grey hairs. Rasa nak tercabut urat kentut sebab dia tarik suka-suka je. Tapi takpelah, dorang tak mintak upah. Wergehehehehe. Petang baru aku balik. Dan sebab aku bosan, ni la aku update blog ni ha.
W bawak ibu pergi Morib. Ibu call aku 2 kali hari ni. Dia risau agaknya sebab baru hari ni dia tahu aku sorang-sorang dalam umah ni. Takpe, Nat pun tinggal sorang gak kat KK nun.
Jo pergi KK. Ada tugas sulit katanya. Tak dapat nak bawak dia berpoya-poya. Petang Jumaat, lepas selesai tugas dia terus fly balik ke KL.... Hurm.... maybe next time.
Malam tadi aku gaduh dengan abang Lan. Aku cakap tak nak cakap dengan dia for a while memandangkan aku ni sangat menyakitkan. I feel that way. So hari ni we didn't have any kind of communication at all. Biar. I feel sorry for him. Better I just stay away. For a while? For good? I don't know. Don't care.
Bukan marah dia. Just disappointed in myself. Why do I keep letting this crazy person take over my sane self? Am I that weak? Hmm....
I am sleepy now. Merepek dah berjam-jam. W mesti tak update blog dia. Dah mula malas la tu. Letih and busy. I know. Me too. Tengoklah kekerapan aku mengupdatenya pun ha....
OK.... Nannite all...
Aku sorang kat umah ni sejak minggu lepas. Aku sangat gembira. Sebab I have the house all to myself.
Selain bawak lelaki balik and buat perkara tak senonoh, apa je aku tak wat di rumah ni. Werghehehe.... bestnya dok sorang-sorang sesekali macam ni.
Don't worry. Aku tak miserable or lonely. I am savoring the moment actually. Kalau sunyi aku lepak umah hujung sana.
Pagi tadi aku buat nasi lemak and bawak pergi sana and makan ramai-ramai. The stupid rice cooker almost ruined a perfectly good breakfast fare. Lembik nasi lemak ku kerana berendam dalam santan lebih sejam, sebab the stupid rice cooker pergi bantai 'keep warm' nya nasi lemak aku. Aku angkat dia letak atas api kat stove. Masak pun, albeit lembik sikit.
Aku tak pandai goreng ikan bilis and kacang. Tapi aku beranikan diri dan lepas menghanguskan 2 batch, I finally end up with perfectly crispy and crunchy fried anchovies and peanuts. I made the sambal the night before. Peeled the cucumber and boiled the eggs the night before as well.
Lepas kenyang, lepak-lepak. Dorang ramai-ramai cabut my grey hairs. Rasa nak tercabut urat kentut sebab dia tarik suka-suka je. Tapi takpelah, dorang tak mintak upah. Wergehehehehe. Petang baru aku balik. Dan sebab aku bosan, ni la aku update blog ni ha.
W bawak ibu pergi Morib. Ibu call aku 2 kali hari ni. Dia risau agaknya sebab baru hari ni dia tahu aku sorang-sorang dalam umah ni. Takpe, Nat pun tinggal sorang gak kat KK nun.
Jo pergi KK. Ada tugas sulit katanya. Tak dapat nak bawak dia berpoya-poya. Petang Jumaat, lepas selesai tugas dia terus fly balik ke KL.... Hurm.... maybe next time.
Malam tadi aku gaduh dengan abang Lan. Aku cakap tak nak cakap dengan dia for a while memandangkan aku ni sangat menyakitkan. I feel that way. So hari ni we didn't have any kind of communication at all. Biar. I feel sorry for him. Better I just stay away. For a while? For good? I don't know. Don't care.
Bukan marah dia. Just disappointed in myself. Why do I keep letting this crazy person take over my sane self? Am I that weak? Hmm....
I am sleepy now. Merepek dah berjam-jam. W mesti tak update blog dia. Dah mula malas la tu. Letih and busy. I know. Me too. Tengoklah kekerapan aku mengupdatenya pun ha....
OK.... Nannite all...
iswara, perdana, ria, kancil
I realize that I have a very late response on things. My synapses are not transmitting the signals ke apa ke? I have no idea why.
Anyway, I changed cars. From one Proton to another Proton. Before you gasp and pant and ask me stupid questions, lemme tell you, SUKA HATI AKU LA NAK BELI APA DENGAN DUIT TITIK PELUH AKU.
Clear tak? Crystal, I hope.
A Waja would be too bulky and masculine. In my honest opinion. Persona tampak lebih lady-like pada aku. And eventhough you can say that a Persona is simply an elongated Gen2, do I look like I am bothered by that fact? The thing is, I like the way it looks and that's all there is to it.
However, it's a manual transmission. If you know me, I am a proud to say that I prefer the manual transmission for some reasons yang aku je faham. So no need to jelaskan di sini. Masa fikir-fikir nak amik manual ke auto, dealer tu dengan smoothnya berkata; "Dah tiba la usianya akak menmandu kereta auto ni..." Aku tak la kecik ati dengan perkataan 'usia' tu sebab aku tau sangat aku ni dah kertu. Tapi, rasa macam betul jugalah, why don't I give it a try. Dulu aku takut nak memanjakan diri dan mengambil auto supaya aku tak susah kalau ada apa-apa hal yang memaksa aku drive manual. Now, aku dah totally proven it to myself that I am perfectly capable of driving a manual. So apa salahnya, berani melakukan perubahan.
My brother pun cakap, okay what... auto transmission ni. Keta aku ok je. Dalam ati, ko nyer Hond@ @ccord. 2.0. Mana tak OKnya. OK seksangatnya lah... Aku bimbang. Aku pandai drive auto. Tapi tah la, macam ada doubts je. Tapi dalam kebimbangan aku tu, macam biasa, the devil may care spirit akan tell me, have a go at it, baru la tau cemana.
So aku amik la Person@ H-Line Auto Transmission. Sayang dia tak CPS, tapi okaylah kut, IAFM. Aku tak la berapa arif sangat hal-hal enjin ni, so nantilah aku study balik apa kebendanya .. or you can read it yourself here.
Anyway, Jumaat, July 17th, aku dengan berat hatinya, telah pergi menghantar kereta lama ku, the ever trustworthy Iswara Limited Edition yang tidak pernha menghampakan aku tu kepada dealer. Dia nak hantar kat used car dealership. Nak jual kan. Bukan nak bagi free, okay?
On the way, tiap kali aku nak potong kereta lain, aku tekan satu butang. Cikgu Yin tanya, "Butang apa tu kak?" Aku selamba je jawab, "Nitrous." Terburai dia gelak. Apa taknya... butang aircond tu aku cover kata butang NOS. Manalah nak terdaya, kete 1.3 nak dipecut laju dengan penumpang penuh. Bukan dema yang berat, dia yang tak berapa nak larat. Tapi tekan minyak, tetap tekan....
Petang tu, sampai ke KK, aku pergi cuci dulu kereta tu. Aku sayang dia. Sampai bila-bila pun aku tak dapat explain kenapa aku tukar kereta lain sedangkan aku sangat sayangkan dia. Aku boleh simpan dia and simply beli je the next car, so I have two cars. Tapi when I thought about it, apa ke jadahnya? Kahwin tak, kereta ada dua. What would I be trying to prove. And all the while, aku dah terlanjur mendealkan jual beli kereta baru tu. Cuma, lately kereta lama tu ada problem sana sini. Bukan salah dia. Aku yang kasar sangat dan tak pernah memanjakan dia walaupun dia adalah antara teman yang paling setia dalam aku susah dan senang. I would like to think, dalam usia dia yang dah makin meningkat, biarlah dia dapat tuan yang dapat menyayangi dan memanjakan dia. Lagipun, aku tinggal jauh dari keluarga dan kurang pengetahuan tentang penjagaan kereta. Biarlah aku beli kereta baru, daripada menyusahkan kawan tiap kali kereta tu buat hal. Oh ye... dia ada buat hal. Tapi takpelah. Tak ada yang sampai membawa bahaya kepada nyawa aku atau kawan-kawan yang tumpang aku.
Sambil cuci, aku check in hotel, and then aku pergi Nokia service centre untuk upgrade 5800. Tah hapa aku dah buat kat dia. Lepas kena worm hari tu, macam-macam dia buat. Lepas upgrade, baru aku teringat, banyak messages yang aku sayang hilang. Takpe. Takkan mati nye der....
Aku jalan balik ke carwash, picked up my car and drove to the dealership, Suhaimi the dealer tu dah tunggu dalam kedai. Kami naik ke pejabat settlekan apa lagi documents yang belum sign. And aku bayar balance downpayment. RM330 saja.
Dia kata malam ni simpan kat basement carpark sebab dealer used care tu datang amik on Monday. Dalam hati, aku terbayang je dia dok parked at the lot all miserable, cold and lonely for three days. Since I don't know where it is, I gave the key to him so he could drive it to the parking lot. I sat in the passenger seat next to him. All the while trying to keep myself upbeat for fear of shedding tears depan mamat tu. Tu bukan masa nak buat drama overload. Sampai kat bawah situ, which was right underneath the dealership, all I could manage was to have him take two last photos with it. And I didn't shed any tears.
I went upstairs and after I said goodbye to him, I walked back to the hotel. Malam tu aku ingat nak tengok movie. Tapi I was a little depressed. I was probably waiting for the delayed response of sadness and loss. It never came. So I went to sleep. The next day, aku tumpang cikgu Yin from Mer@pok yang tumpang aku semalam. The day before, as always, yang tumpang aku, Mimi, Yin and his wife Su and his little boy Q@wwim. So the car was pretty much full. Which was a good thing. I didn't want to be alone with the car and cry my eyes out all the way to KK. I would have been a bad mess when I get to KK if that was the case and would have probably scared the dealer guy.
Anyway, aku tumpang Yin balik sebab the day before tu, dia tumpang aku cuz nak pick up dia punya Perd@na yang telah dihantar untuk tukar gearboxnya. RM4k gak kena. Dia kata, terduduk jugalah. Kalau aku terpengsan je terus.
First time dok kat belakang jadi penumpang dalam Perd@na. Takde lah feeling-feeling Ma'am. Tapi seingat aku, semenjak aku ada lesen, tak pernah aku dok jadi pessenjer. Aku lah designated drivernya.
Agaknya Yin segan ke dengan aku, sampai dia kata, "Sorry la kak, saya memang drive macam ni..." " Apa la ko nak minta maaf ni Yin, aku dapat tumpang ko balik ni pun dah syukur sangat. Drive la cemana pun ko nak, kereta ko, kan?"
Susah juga jadi perempuan yang ada notorious reputation as a suicidal driver dalam town yang kecik ni. Semua orang kenal dan tahu sampai bila tumpang orang pun orang boleh nak minta maaf kat aku. Choy...!
Tetiba sampai kat Put@tan, kereta dia berasap. Adoi.... apa la pulak ... dia drive masuk ke bengkel kat tepi Gi@nt Put@tan tu. Bila mechanic dia datang dari kedai yang dia tukar gearbox tu, check apa semua ok katanya.... kami pergi makan pizza then teruskan perjalanan. Sampai kat Kimanis, dia berasap lagi dan terus tak masuk gear. Maka kami pun tersadai la kat M@sjid Kim@nis. Dari kul 1.30pm sampai 6.30pm sebab tunggu mechanic dari KK tak sampai-sampai sedangkan cikgu kawan Yin tu dari Mer@pok dah sampai, nak amik kami.
Kami naik la N@za Ri@ cikgu tu. Tak tahulah kenapa, maybe sebab aku ada reputation kat Law@s ni as a crazy lady driver, maybe lah kan... kalau tak, kira aku perasanlah ni, tapi dia ada comment to me yang I won't be driving macam the way I used to drive when I get the auto transmission car. I know. I pasrah je. Dia drive punyalah laju MPV dia tu .Tak kira jalan rata ke, tak ke, luas ke sempit ke. Aku rasa macam dok dalam washing machine kena banting sana sini, and not in a luxurious MPV. Last-last aku pakai seatbelt just so aku tak tercampak terhantuk ke siling MPV tu.
Aku bersyukur dapat menumpang rezekinya, tapi dalam hal ini, tak perlulah memprove a point, sebab aku tahu kau pun handal driving punya. Lelaki mana kat dunia ni yang tak handal driving, mana ada lelaki yang boleh kalah dengan perempuan dalam hal driving ni... Kan kan kan? Jangan bunuh kami.....! Serious aku takut masa dia driving. Maybe dia nak cepat sampai cuz masa tu dah senja pun. Am I wrong? Setahu aku, yelah MPV tu powerful. Tapi the power is not exactly for high speeds, but more for the ability to transport heavy loads. Manoueverability pun tak sama dengan sedan. Aku salah ke? Anyone?
Tapi dalam pada aku mengumpat dia dalam hati, aku syukur kami selamat sampai. Tak pernah pun terdetik yang kami akan ditimpa kecelakaan. Cuma gaya pemanduannya tidak menitikberatkan keselesaan penumpang yang duduk jauh di belakang, yang kemungkinan cedera di kepala jika tercampak memandangkan suspension MPV tu sangat menganjal. Mimi la yang paling kesian sebab dia yang dok belakang sekali. Aku dok belakang driver pun dah senak perut. Ni kan pulak dia. Nasib baik la Mimi tu budak baik.
Sampai kat Mer@pok, cikgu Yin offer hantar aku ke Lawas. Kami naik dulu ke umah dia. baik betul dia. Dia bagi minum and then kami turun ke K@ncil dia. Perdana dah kena tow balik ke KK. Tinggallah K@ncil yang setia.
Sampai di Lawas, dia ajak makan dulu sebelum hantar aku balik. So kami berlima dari petang semalam, makan malam pulak malam ni. Kesian Yin. Harap kereta dia cepat sembuh.
Itulah, riwayat Iswara, Perdana, Ria dan Kancil dalam satu hari. Takdelah yang fabu or extraordinary.... Tapi jarang la dalam hidup aku yang bosan ni, bertukar-tukar kereta sampai empat kali in one day.
Minggu tu aku tumpang kak Liza ke sekolah. Then, Khamis, aku drive Kenari dia. Aku dengan confidentnya telah mendrive keretanya masa balik dari sekolah. Dia adala kat situ dengan aku. Yang peliknya, mungkin kerana gaya pemanduan aku yang berbeza tu kah, tetiba, lepas berenti depan M@ybank, dia tak mau start lagi. Augh!!!
Puas la tolak dengan si Zukri dengan Azmin yang kebetulan ada kat bank juga masa tu. Tak juga mau start. Panggil Cyril, dia panggil mekanik. Mekanik kata ada started problem which is a standard for all Perodu@ models. Hmm... aku rasa sangat bersalah sebab telah menjahanamkan kereta kak Liza dan menyusahkan dia.
Esoknya kak Liza drive Viv@ mak dia. Kami, tumpang Boss la pulak. Hais.... benci betul hidup menumpang.
Dari Jumaat tu aku cakap kat Suhaimi, pleaselah, kalau boleh aku nak kereta tu by next Friday. Dia kata tak jamin, tapi by the looks of things, there should not be any problem. Berdebar-debar aku, sebab aku tak nak tumpang orang ke sekolah lama-lama. Lagipun Linda tenga pregnant. Kesian la kena tumpang orang sana sini. Tambahan pulak aku dah menyusahkan kak Liza secara tak sengaja. So Rabu aku called to see how things are on his end. Dia again answered the same. Aku fahamlah.... mana ada orang boleh confident janji yang bukan-bukan. But I think he realizes my desperation and was working hard to get the paperwork done by the following Friday.
So when I called him again Friday morning, dia kata; "Aaa... baru je aku nak call. Petang ni ko boleh datang ambil." Alhamdulillah.....
That day July 24th, aku ingat nak pergi KK naik bas je, sebab aku tak berapa suka nak minta-minta tolong orang dalam hal-hal kehidupan aku sebab aku rasa akan membebankan orang. Tapi menjelang tengahari, adalah seorang colleague aku, namanya Monica yang nak pergi ke KK petang tu ke rumah auntie dia di sana. Majorie dengan baiknya telah memohon kerjasama Monica untuk membolehkan aku menumpang dia ke KK. Majorie awal lagi nak ikut ke KK petang tu sebab boleh jalan-jalan sambil temankan aku drive balik nanti. Aku sangat happy sebab aku tak payah naik bas.
Sampai umah, sementara tunggu Monica, aku sempat tidur, because the night before, aku tak lewat tido. Tak lunch pun sebab tumpang orang balik tu, aku segan nak singgah sana sini menapao. Tengah aku terlena, aku terjaga bila dengar suara Majorie panggil nama aku. Aku bangun, terus capai beg, dengan baju kurung pergi sekolah pagi tadi, aku terus turun and pergi umah Monica kat ujung sana.
Sempat aku amik jack untuk tukar tayar in case ada apa-apa berlaku dalam perjalanan balik nanti. Sampai kat umah Monica, sambil letak jack dalam bonet tu sempat aku mengomel, "Ngantuk betul..." Mon terdengar, dia tanya, "Akak nak segarkan badan?" Sambil hulur kunci kereta. Ler... Suruh aku drive la tue!
Takpe. Aku memang suka drive pun. Tersangat suka. Sedar-sedar, dah sampai kat KK. Her her her.
So Mon dropped aku dengan Majorie kat dealership tu dan dia terus ke rumah auntie dia. Masa aku turun kereta, aku jadi terperasan sekejap sebab ada a bunch of mamat cumils duduk kat restoren sebelah dealership tu yang memandang ke arah kami. Aku ni cam guni beras je, for sure la diorang bukan pandang sebab aku lawa kan? And for sure la diorang dok nengok Majorie yang lawa mawa tu. Aku pun segan nak negok diorang lama-lama, so aku buat-buat tak perasan je. Walaupun aku sebenarnya ada feeling-feeling celeb... bet. Sebab pakai sunglasses besar. Muehehehe....
Suhaimi pun bergegas datang ke arah kami, dan terus bawa aku turun ke basement amik kereta untuk take us to the car warehouse. Masa nak turun tu, dia unjukkan kat budak-budak cumils tu, bebudak tu senyum kat weols. Ler, kawan-kawan dia rupanya and dia pun bergegas dari arah diorang tadi rupanya. Sibuk benar amik barang dalam bonet, aku tak sedar dari mana dia muncul.
Sampai kat warehouse tu, kami pergilah tengok kereta tu. Purple... Tak pernah termimpi pun nak drive a purple car. Aubergine... Well, it's Blueberry Tea, actually. Ah.... there is always a first time for everything. Dia pun get busy memasang itu ini. Kami pun busy membuka plastik apa bagai. I don't like driving a car with the plastics still on, OK? Orang lain pun mampu juga beli kereta baru. Bukan awak sorang je, so what would I be trying to prove driving the car with the plastics still on?
Tetiba, N called. Bengong. By the way, I have totally move on. Aku dah tak ada walau setitis kasih pun untuk dia. Sebab, dia 'terlupa' to include the fact that he has been remarried when he first met me. The bastard. Just because aku tinggal jauh dari Kuching, doesn't mean aku tak akan dapat tahu the truth. Tapi tiga tahun jugalah kan, aku tell myself to be patient and get rid of my paranoia. Manalah aku ni tak cemburu buta dibuatnya? Aku takut kecewa. Yet, here I am. Kecewa yet again. I'm not devastated though. There had never been fireworks pun with him. It just fizzled out. That's all.
Lepas aku jawab ala kadar, we hung up.
Pasang navigator apa semua, pasang road tax, pasang plate number, letak carpet. And busy snapping photos of the new car and Suhaimi yang naik berpeluh melayan kerenah kami berdua. It was fun. He's a fun and patient guy lah. Bagus jadi dealer.
I dreaded the moment that he finishes pasang itu ini. Feels like I will lose a friend. Entahla, aku ni cepat betul sayang kan orang. Bukan sayang yang macam tu. Sayang kawan. Sebab he is a lovable person pun. Senang deal dengan dia.
Lepas tu dia bagitau, aku terbayar lebih. Dia pulangkan RM110 lagi. Which makes balance downpayment aku cuma RM220 jer....
So we said our goodbyes, we got in the car and drove away. Aku sedih lagi. Rasa macam meninggalkan adik lelaki yang aku tak pernah ada. Sebab dia debab jugak. Baik lak tu. Takpelah, ada rezeki, kita jumpa lagi, ye dik?
Kami singgah kejap di CP, Majorie cari beg. Sambil tu abang Lan called. He's so nice. Sejak kenal dia, hari-hari he called. So sweet of him. Lepas tu, sebab dah menggeletar, baru aku teringat aku belum lunch, kami makan dia KR di basement. Sedapnya ayam... nasi... potato salad... green salad dan coke.
Kul 7.30 pm baru meninggalkan bandar KK. Memandangkan aku terpaksa memandu pada kelajuan 80kmph, mana nak sampai border in time. Lewat lah 15 minit. Takpe... Bukan kunci pun, buka gate sendiri and tulis nama kat guard. Esok baru stamp buku pass.
Sampai umah, Majorie tumpang tidur. Dah lewat dia nak balik ke sekolah.
Esok pagi, aku hantar Linda balik bersalin, ke airport. KK. Hahaha... kalau ko kata aku gila, maybe la aku gila. Kami balik malam tu juga. Ahad, lepas breakfast, kami pergi Sipitang. Amik Mimi. Dengan Lini and Zai, kami terus ke KK lagi. Wahahahahaha! Ye! Aku memang gila!!!
Well, sebenarnya aku saja je nak run in kereta. Sampai abang Lan marah le... sorry bang. I am notty. Banes pun marah. Dia kata aku Teksi. Well, kalau you all tau betapa aku suka driving, baru you all faham.
Rabu the following week, aku terpaksa pergi ke KK lagi untuk first service. First service within 5 days of owning the brand new car. Bagus tak aku? Kenapa Rabu? Cuz weekend tu kami ada kem motivasi, dan aku adalah ajk disiplin dan keselamatan. Mana bleh tinggal kem.
Apa-apa pun, itulah cerita aku dan Person@ ku. Tak tahulah apa nama aku nak bagi dia. Yang penting, number lama tetap abadi. Kereta lama aku, numbernya dah jadi SAA1046Y. Kalau orang KK ada nampak kereta Iswara Limited Edition Silver, dengan plate number itu, dialah bekas kekasih yang setia menemaniku selama 6 tahun.
Suhaimi the dealer dah berlepas ke KL minggu lepas, memulakan chapter baru dalam hidup dia sebagai pembantu undang-undang. Semoga berjaya, dik.
As for me, this is a new chapter in my life too. Begins with a new car and moving back to KL and possibly becoming my family's burden again. Let's hope not.
Nanti nak apply pindah balik ke Selangor supaya dapat bersama keluarga tercinta semula. Harap kepulanganku nanti membawa kebaikan dan bukan keburukan. Maklum, aku kan macam ni adanya. Jangan asyik buat ibu marah je nanti.
Doakan yang baik-baik saja. Amin....
Anyway, I changed cars. From one Proton to another Proton. Before you gasp and pant and ask me stupid questions, lemme tell you, SUKA HATI AKU LA NAK BELI APA DENGAN DUIT TITIK PELUH AKU.
Clear tak? Crystal, I hope.
A Waja would be too bulky and masculine. In my honest opinion. Persona tampak lebih lady-like pada aku. And eventhough you can say that a Persona is simply an elongated Gen2, do I look like I am bothered by that fact? The thing is, I like the way it looks and that's all there is to it.
However, it's a manual transmission. If you know me, I am a proud to say that I prefer the manual transmission for some reasons yang aku je faham. So no need to jelaskan di sini. Masa fikir-fikir nak amik manual ke auto, dealer tu dengan smoothnya berkata; "Dah tiba la usianya akak menmandu kereta auto ni..." Aku tak la kecik ati dengan perkataan 'usia' tu sebab aku tau sangat aku ni dah kertu. Tapi, rasa macam betul jugalah, why don't I give it a try. Dulu aku takut nak memanjakan diri dan mengambil auto supaya aku tak susah kalau ada apa-apa hal yang memaksa aku drive manual. Now, aku dah totally proven it to myself that I am perfectly capable of driving a manual. So apa salahnya, berani melakukan perubahan.
My brother pun cakap, okay what... auto transmission ni. Keta aku ok je. Dalam ati, ko nyer Hond@ @ccord. 2.0. Mana tak OKnya. OK seksangatnya lah... Aku bimbang. Aku pandai drive auto. Tapi tah la, macam ada doubts je. Tapi dalam kebimbangan aku tu, macam biasa, the devil may care spirit akan tell me, have a go at it, baru la tau cemana.
So aku amik la Person@ H-Line Auto Transmission. Sayang dia tak CPS, tapi okaylah kut, IAFM. Aku tak la berapa arif sangat hal-hal enjin ni, so nantilah aku study balik apa kebendanya .. or you can read it yourself here.
Anyway, Jumaat, July 17th, aku dengan berat hatinya, telah pergi menghantar kereta lama ku, the ever trustworthy Iswara Limited Edition yang tidak pernha menghampakan aku tu kepada dealer. Dia nak hantar kat used car dealership. Nak jual kan. Bukan nak bagi free, okay?
On the way, tiap kali aku nak potong kereta lain, aku tekan satu butang. Cikgu Yin tanya, "Butang apa tu kak?" Aku selamba je jawab, "Nitrous." Terburai dia gelak. Apa taknya... butang aircond tu aku cover kata butang NOS. Manalah nak terdaya, kete 1.3 nak dipecut laju dengan penumpang penuh. Bukan dema yang berat, dia yang tak berapa nak larat. Tapi tekan minyak, tetap tekan....
Petang tu, sampai ke KK, aku pergi cuci dulu kereta tu. Aku sayang dia. Sampai bila-bila pun aku tak dapat explain kenapa aku tukar kereta lain sedangkan aku sangat sayangkan dia. Aku boleh simpan dia and simply beli je the next car, so I have two cars. Tapi when I thought about it, apa ke jadahnya? Kahwin tak, kereta ada dua. What would I be trying to prove. And all the while, aku dah terlanjur mendealkan jual beli kereta baru tu. Cuma, lately kereta lama tu ada problem sana sini. Bukan salah dia. Aku yang kasar sangat dan tak pernah memanjakan dia walaupun dia adalah antara teman yang paling setia dalam aku susah dan senang. I would like to think, dalam usia dia yang dah makin meningkat, biarlah dia dapat tuan yang dapat menyayangi dan memanjakan dia. Lagipun, aku tinggal jauh dari keluarga dan kurang pengetahuan tentang penjagaan kereta. Biarlah aku beli kereta baru, daripada menyusahkan kawan tiap kali kereta tu buat hal. Oh ye... dia ada buat hal. Tapi takpelah. Tak ada yang sampai membawa bahaya kepada nyawa aku atau kawan-kawan yang tumpang aku.
Sambil cuci, aku check in hotel, and then aku pergi Nokia service centre untuk upgrade 5800. Tah hapa aku dah buat kat dia. Lepas kena worm hari tu, macam-macam dia buat. Lepas upgrade, baru aku teringat, banyak messages yang aku sayang hilang. Takpe. Takkan mati nye der....
Aku jalan balik ke carwash, picked up my car and drove to the dealership, Suhaimi the dealer tu dah tunggu dalam kedai. Kami naik ke pejabat settlekan apa lagi documents yang belum sign. And aku bayar balance downpayment. RM330 saja.
Dia kata malam ni simpan kat basement carpark sebab dealer used care tu datang amik on Monday. Dalam hati, aku terbayang je dia dok parked at the lot all miserable, cold and lonely for three days. Since I don't know where it is, I gave the key to him so he could drive it to the parking lot. I sat in the passenger seat next to him. All the while trying to keep myself upbeat for fear of shedding tears depan mamat tu. Tu bukan masa nak buat drama overload. Sampai kat bawah situ, which was right underneath the dealership, all I could manage was to have him take two last photos with it. And I didn't shed any tears.
I went upstairs and after I said goodbye to him, I walked back to the hotel. Malam tu aku ingat nak tengok movie. Tapi I was a little depressed. I was probably waiting for the delayed response of sadness and loss. It never came. So I went to sleep. The next day, aku tumpang cikgu Yin from Mer@pok yang tumpang aku semalam. The day before, as always, yang tumpang aku, Mimi, Yin and his wife Su and his little boy Q@wwim. So the car was pretty much full. Which was a good thing. I didn't want to be alone with the car and cry my eyes out all the way to KK. I would have been a bad mess when I get to KK if that was the case and would have probably scared the dealer guy.
Anyway, aku tumpang Yin balik sebab the day before tu, dia tumpang aku cuz nak pick up dia punya Perd@na yang telah dihantar untuk tukar gearboxnya. RM4k gak kena. Dia kata, terduduk jugalah. Kalau aku terpengsan je terus.
First time dok kat belakang jadi penumpang dalam Perd@na. Takde lah feeling-feeling Ma'am. Tapi seingat aku, semenjak aku ada lesen, tak pernah aku dok jadi pessenjer. Aku lah designated drivernya.
Agaknya Yin segan ke dengan aku, sampai dia kata, "Sorry la kak, saya memang drive macam ni..." " Apa la ko nak minta maaf ni Yin, aku dapat tumpang ko balik ni pun dah syukur sangat. Drive la cemana pun ko nak, kereta ko, kan?"
Susah juga jadi perempuan yang ada notorious reputation as a suicidal driver dalam town yang kecik ni. Semua orang kenal dan tahu sampai bila tumpang orang pun orang boleh nak minta maaf kat aku. Choy...!
Tetiba sampai kat Put@tan, kereta dia berasap. Adoi.... apa la pulak ... dia drive masuk ke bengkel kat tepi Gi@nt Put@tan tu. Bila mechanic dia datang dari kedai yang dia tukar gearbox tu, check apa semua ok katanya.... kami pergi makan pizza then teruskan perjalanan. Sampai kat Kimanis, dia berasap lagi dan terus tak masuk gear. Maka kami pun tersadai la kat M@sjid Kim@nis. Dari kul 1.30pm sampai 6.30pm sebab tunggu mechanic dari KK tak sampai-sampai sedangkan cikgu kawan Yin tu dari Mer@pok dah sampai, nak amik kami.
Kami naik la N@za Ri@ cikgu tu. Tak tahulah kenapa, maybe sebab aku ada reputation kat Law@s ni as a crazy lady driver, maybe lah kan... kalau tak, kira aku perasanlah ni, tapi dia ada comment to me yang I won't be driving macam the way I used to drive when I get the auto transmission car. I know. I pasrah je. Dia drive punyalah laju MPV dia tu .Tak kira jalan rata ke, tak ke, luas ke sempit ke. Aku rasa macam dok dalam washing machine kena banting sana sini, and not in a luxurious MPV. Last-last aku pakai seatbelt just so aku tak tercampak terhantuk ke siling MPV tu.
Aku bersyukur dapat menumpang rezekinya, tapi dalam hal ini, tak perlulah memprove a point, sebab aku tahu kau pun handal driving punya. Lelaki mana kat dunia ni yang tak handal driving, mana ada lelaki yang boleh kalah dengan perempuan dalam hal driving ni... Kan kan kan? Jangan bunuh kami.....! Serious aku takut masa dia driving. Maybe dia nak cepat sampai cuz masa tu dah senja pun. Am I wrong? Setahu aku, yelah MPV tu powerful. Tapi the power is not exactly for high speeds, but more for the ability to transport heavy loads. Manoueverability pun tak sama dengan sedan. Aku salah ke? Anyone?
Tapi dalam pada aku mengumpat dia dalam hati, aku syukur kami selamat sampai. Tak pernah pun terdetik yang kami akan ditimpa kecelakaan. Cuma gaya pemanduannya tidak menitikberatkan keselesaan penumpang yang duduk jauh di belakang, yang kemungkinan cedera di kepala jika tercampak memandangkan suspension MPV tu sangat menganjal. Mimi la yang paling kesian sebab dia yang dok belakang sekali. Aku dok belakang driver pun dah senak perut. Ni kan pulak dia. Nasib baik la Mimi tu budak baik.
Sampai kat Mer@pok, cikgu Yin offer hantar aku ke Lawas. Kami naik dulu ke umah dia. baik betul dia. Dia bagi minum and then kami turun ke K@ncil dia. Perdana dah kena tow balik ke KK. Tinggallah K@ncil yang setia.
Sampai di Lawas, dia ajak makan dulu sebelum hantar aku balik. So kami berlima dari petang semalam, makan malam pulak malam ni. Kesian Yin. Harap kereta dia cepat sembuh.
Itulah, riwayat Iswara, Perdana, Ria dan Kancil dalam satu hari. Takdelah yang fabu or extraordinary.... Tapi jarang la dalam hidup aku yang bosan ni, bertukar-tukar kereta sampai empat kali in one day.
Minggu tu aku tumpang kak Liza ke sekolah. Then, Khamis, aku drive Kenari dia. Aku dengan confidentnya telah mendrive keretanya masa balik dari sekolah. Dia adala kat situ dengan aku. Yang peliknya, mungkin kerana gaya pemanduan aku yang berbeza tu kah, tetiba, lepas berenti depan M@ybank, dia tak mau start lagi. Augh!!!
Puas la tolak dengan si Zukri dengan Azmin yang kebetulan ada kat bank juga masa tu. Tak juga mau start. Panggil Cyril, dia panggil mekanik. Mekanik kata ada started problem which is a standard for all Perodu@ models. Hmm... aku rasa sangat bersalah sebab telah menjahanamkan kereta kak Liza dan menyusahkan dia.
Esoknya kak Liza drive Viv@ mak dia. Kami, tumpang Boss la pulak. Hais.... benci betul hidup menumpang.
Dari Jumaat tu aku cakap kat Suhaimi, pleaselah, kalau boleh aku nak kereta tu by next Friday. Dia kata tak jamin, tapi by the looks of things, there should not be any problem. Berdebar-debar aku, sebab aku tak nak tumpang orang ke sekolah lama-lama. Lagipun Linda tenga pregnant. Kesian la kena tumpang orang sana sini. Tambahan pulak aku dah menyusahkan kak Liza secara tak sengaja. So Rabu aku called to see how things are on his end. Dia again answered the same. Aku fahamlah.... mana ada orang boleh confident janji yang bukan-bukan. But I think he realizes my desperation and was working hard to get the paperwork done by the following Friday.
So when I called him again Friday morning, dia kata; "Aaa... baru je aku nak call. Petang ni ko boleh datang ambil." Alhamdulillah.....
That day July 24th, aku ingat nak pergi KK naik bas je, sebab aku tak berapa suka nak minta-minta tolong orang dalam hal-hal kehidupan aku sebab aku rasa akan membebankan orang. Tapi menjelang tengahari, adalah seorang colleague aku, namanya Monica yang nak pergi ke KK petang tu ke rumah auntie dia di sana. Majorie dengan baiknya telah memohon kerjasama Monica untuk membolehkan aku menumpang dia ke KK. Majorie awal lagi nak ikut ke KK petang tu sebab boleh jalan-jalan sambil temankan aku drive balik nanti. Aku sangat happy sebab aku tak payah naik bas.
Sampai umah, sementara tunggu Monica, aku sempat tidur, because the night before, aku tak lewat tido. Tak lunch pun sebab tumpang orang balik tu, aku segan nak singgah sana sini menapao. Tengah aku terlena, aku terjaga bila dengar suara Majorie panggil nama aku. Aku bangun, terus capai beg, dengan baju kurung pergi sekolah pagi tadi, aku terus turun and pergi umah Monica kat ujung sana.
Sempat aku amik jack untuk tukar tayar in case ada apa-apa berlaku dalam perjalanan balik nanti. Sampai kat umah Monica, sambil letak jack dalam bonet tu sempat aku mengomel, "Ngantuk betul..." Mon terdengar, dia tanya, "Akak nak segarkan badan?" Sambil hulur kunci kereta. Ler... Suruh aku drive la tue!
Takpe. Aku memang suka drive pun. Tersangat suka. Sedar-sedar, dah sampai kat KK. Her her her.
So Mon dropped aku dengan Majorie kat dealership tu dan dia terus ke rumah auntie dia. Masa aku turun kereta, aku jadi terperasan sekejap sebab ada a bunch of mamat cumils duduk kat restoren sebelah dealership tu yang memandang ke arah kami. Aku ni cam guni beras je, for sure la diorang bukan pandang sebab aku lawa kan? And for sure la diorang dok nengok Majorie yang lawa mawa tu. Aku pun segan nak negok diorang lama-lama, so aku buat-buat tak perasan je. Walaupun aku sebenarnya ada feeling-feeling celeb... bet. Sebab pakai sunglasses besar. Muehehehe....
Suhaimi pun bergegas datang ke arah kami, dan terus bawa aku turun ke basement amik kereta untuk take us to the car warehouse. Masa nak turun tu, dia unjukkan kat budak-budak cumils tu, bebudak tu senyum kat weols. Ler, kawan-kawan dia rupanya and dia pun bergegas dari arah diorang tadi rupanya. Sibuk benar amik barang dalam bonet, aku tak sedar dari mana dia muncul.
Sampai kat warehouse tu, kami pergilah tengok kereta tu. Purple... Tak pernah termimpi pun nak drive a purple car. Aubergine... Well, it's Blueberry Tea, actually. Ah.... there is always a first time for everything. Dia pun get busy memasang itu ini. Kami pun busy membuka plastik apa bagai. I don't like driving a car with the plastics still on, OK? Orang lain pun mampu juga beli kereta baru. Bukan awak sorang je, so what would I be trying to prove driving the car with the plastics still on?
Tetiba, N called. Bengong. By the way, I have totally move on. Aku dah tak ada walau setitis kasih pun untuk dia. Sebab, dia 'terlupa' to include the fact that he has been remarried when he first met me. The bastard. Just because aku tinggal jauh dari Kuching, doesn't mean aku tak akan dapat tahu the truth. Tapi tiga tahun jugalah kan, aku tell myself to be patient and get rid of my paranoia. Manalah aku ni tak cemburu buta dibuatnya? Aku takut kecewa. Yet, here I am. Kecewa yet again. I'm not devastated though. There had never been fireworks pun with him. It just fizzled out. That's all.
Lepas aku jawab ala kadar, we hung up.
Pasang navigator apa semua, pasang road tax, pasang plate number, letak carpet. And busy snapping photos of the new car and Suhaimi yang naik berpeluh melayan kerenah kami berdua. It was fun. He's a fun and patient guy lah. Bagus jadi dealer.
I dreaded the moment that he finishes pasang itu ini. Feels like I will lose a friend. Entahla, aku ni cepat betul sayang kan orang. Bukan sayang yang macam tu. Sayang kawan. Sebab he is a lovable person pun. Senang deal dengan dia.
Lepas tu dia bagitau, aku terbayar lebih. Dia pulangkan RM110 lagi. Which makes balance downpayment aku cuma RM220 jer....
So we said our goodbyes, we got in the car and drove away. Aku sedih lagi. Rasa macam meninggalkan adik lelaki yang aku tak pernah ada. Sebab dia debab jugak. Baik lak tu. Takpelah, ada rezeki, kita jumpa lagi, ye dik?
Kami singgah kejap di CP, Majorie cari beg. Sambil tu abang Lan called. He's so nice. Sejak kenal dia, hari-hari he called. So sweet of him. Lepas tu, sebab dah menggeletar, baru aku teringat aku belum lunch, kami makan dia KR di basement. Sedapnya ayam... nasi... potato salad... green salad dan coke.
Kul 7.30 pm baru meninggalkan bandar KK. Memandangkan aku terpaksa memandu pada kelajuan 80kmph, mana nak sampai border in time. Lewat lah 15 minit. Takpe... Bukan kunci pun, buka gate sendiri and tulis nama kat guard. Esok baru stamp buku pass.
Sampai umah, Majorie tumpang tidur. Dah lewat dia nak balik ke sekolah.
Esok pagi, aku hantar Linda balik bersalin, ke airport. KK. Hahaha... kalau ko kata aku gila, maybe la aku gila. Kami balik malam tu juga. Ahad, lepas breakfast, kami pergi Sipitang. Amik Mimi. Dengan Lini and Zai, kami terus ke KK lagi. Wahahahahaha! Ye! Aku memang gila!!!
Well, sebenarnya aku saja je nak run in kereta. Sampai abang Lan marah le... sorry bang. I am notty. Banes pun marah. Dia kata aku Teksi. Well, kalau you all tau betapa aku suka driving, baru you all faham.
Rabu the following week, aku terpaksa pergi ke KK lagi untuk first service. First service within 5 days of owning the brand new car. Bagus tak aku? Kenapa Rabu? Cuz weekend tu kami ada kem motivasi, dan aku adalah ajk disiplin dan keselamatan. Mana bleh tinggal kem.
Apa-apa pun, itulah cerita aku dan Person@ ku. Tak tahulah apa nama aku nak bagi dia. Yang penting, number lama tetap abadi. Kereta lama aku, numbernya dah jadi SAA1046Y. Kalau orang KK ada nampak kereta Iswara Limited Edition Silver, dengan plate number itu, dialah bekas kekasih yang setia menemaniku selama 6 tahun.
Suhaimi the dealer dah berlepas ke KL minggu lepas, memulakan chapter baru dalam hidup dia sebagai pembantu undang-undang. Semoga berjaya, dik.
As for me, this is a new chapter in my life too. Begins with a new car and moving back to KL and possibly becoming my family's burden again. Let's hope not.
Nanti nak apply pindah balik ke Selangor supaya dapat bersama keluarga tercinta semula. Harap kepulanganku nanti membawa kebaikan dan bukan keburukan. Maklum, aku kan macam ni adanya. Jangan asyik buat ibu marah je nanti.
Doakan yang baik-baik saja. Amin....
jelesi
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James
Things I hate about jealousy is how it makes one become so obsessed that nothing a lover can say in explanation will take away the doubt and anger that had been simmering inside. Jealousy makes one blind. Jealousy makes one crazy. Jealousy makes one become a stalker. Jealousy is so not sexy.
So how come it happens to me again and again ruining a perfectly happy relationship?
I keep letting myself forget that bit about trust and being redha of qadha and qadar. Because when these voices speaks to me, I listen to only them and not to the knowledge and experience I already have when it comes to jealousy and the kind of damage it can cause on me and the relationship that I am having.
It's so hard to have trust again when it has been broken a few times before. It's tough when this things silently creeps in alongside the love that keeps growing by the day. I try not to let it overcome the whole situation, but it seems to me that the more I care and takes someone seriously, the more obsessed I would be of the things that he does without me. Why does that have to happen to me? Why can I recover from this disease? Do I feel so unworthy of love that I cannot truly believe that someone can really love me for who I am and I risk losing a perfectly good relationship just over something so untangible as jealousy?
At the end of the day, bukan dia milik Allah swt? And whatever he does behind your back, when you are legally bound by marriage, he has to answer to Allah? Why do I let myself get crazy over something petty like jealousy?
I just don't understand what is wrong with me that I fear infidelity so much that I choose to be single all the way to this age. Even if there was anyone who wanted to marry me, I'd just brush it off as a joke. I am that insecure in myself that being alone would be a much better option that have someone to love and share a life with. It feels so good to be alone and not worry about a cheating lover that I never complained on being single. Have I complained in this blog about being single? I don't remember. But I know I never had qualms about being single. It's just so much easier.
Having someone to love and cherish would be nice of course. But hearing horror stories left right and center does not help.
I remember telling myself once, so what if he cheats? Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. We are human after all. Yes, so what if he cheats? I don't know the answer to that. All I know is that it bothers me. Why does he have to cheat? I keep asking myself. I don't even have the answer to that either. But I once read in a newspaper article, that simply said; They cheat, because they can.
That's a scary thought, isn't it?
So, if you catch your man cheating on you, does forgiving him mean you love him and forgiving him is a part of loving him, or are you lowering your standards by doing so?
I saw Aw@y From Her. Her husband cheated on her. But being the classy lady that she is in the story, she forgave him. And since he is a sort of a good guy with honor, he ditched the other girl and quit the university where he was teaching and took his wife to live in the countryside where they spent the rest of their retired lives cross-country skiing and reading books to each other before bed and having friends over for dinner parties. She never forgot about it of course, but she thinks that people who demands to be in love all the time are selfish. How I wish I can be as care-free as she is.
She didn't lower her standards at all by forgiving him. She made everything well again by doing so. And his love for her remained strong and grew and grew.
It's not a bad thing to forgive. But how can one be sure that he/she is truly remorseful of the wrong that he/she has done and go back to you and willing to spend the rest of your days making amends and remaining faithful to you. She is one remarkable lady, that one.
Anyway, if you have tips on how to handle this thing, send 'em to me. It's really starting to eat me alive. I need to get control of it.
And if you have a problem with jealousy, read Understanding The Anatomy of Jealousy here.
So how come it happens to me again and again ruining a perfectly happy relationship?
I keep letting myself forget that bit about trust and being redha of qadha and qadar. Because when these voices speaks to me, I listen to only them and not to the knowledge and experience I already have when it comes to jealousy and the kind of damage it can cause on me and the relationship that I am having.
It's so hard to have trust again when it has been broken a few times before. It's tough when this things silently creeps in alongside the love that keeps growing by the day. I try not to let it overcome the whole situation, but it seems to me that the more I care and takes someone seriously, the more obsessed I would be of the things that he does without me. Why does that have to happen to me? Why can I recover from this disease? Do I feel so unworthy of love that I cannot truly believe that someone can really love me for who I am and I risk losing a perfectly good relationship just over something so untangible as jealousy?
At the end of the day, bukan dia milik Allah swt? And whatever he does behind your back, when you are legally bound by marriage, he has to answer to Allah? Why do I let myself get crazy over something petty like jealousy?
I just don't understand what is wrong with me that I fear infidelity so much that I choose to be single all the way to this age. Even if there was anyone who wanted to marry me, I'd just brush it off as a joke. I am that insecure in myself that being alone would be a much better option that have someone to love and share a life with. It feels so good to be alone and not worry about a cheating lover that I never complained on being single. Have I complained in this blog about being single? I don't remember. But I know I never had qualms about being single. It's just so much easier.
Having someone to love and cherish would be nice of course. But hearing horror stories left right and center does not help.
I remember telling myself once, so what if he cheats? Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. We are human after all. Yes, so what if he cheats? I don't know the answer to that. All I know is that it bothers me. Why does he have to cheat? I keep asking myself. I don't even have the answer to that either. But I once read in a newspaper article, that simply said; They cheat, because they can.
That's a scary thought, isn't it?
So, if you catch your man cheating on you, does forgiving him mean you love him and forgiving him is a part of loving him, or are you lowering your standards by doing so?
I saw Aw@y From Her. Her husband cheated on her. But being the classy lady that she is in the story, she forgave him. And since he is a sort of a good guy with honor, he ditched the other girl and quit the university where he was teaching and took his wife to live in the countryside where they spent the rest of their retired lives cross-country skiing and reading books to each other before bed and having friends over for dinner parties. She never forgot about it of course, but she thinks that people who demands to be in love all the time are selfish. How I wish I can be as care-free as she is.
She didn't lower her standards at all by forgiving him. She made everything well again by doing so. And his love for her remained strong and grew and grew.
It's not a bad thing to forgive. But how can one be sure that he/she is truly remorseful of the wrong that he/she has done and go back to you and willing to spend the rest of your days making amends and remaining faithful to you. She is one remarkable lady, that one.
Anyway, if you have tips on how to handle this thing, send 'em to me. It's really starting to eat me alive. I need to get control of it.
And if you have a problem with jealousy, read Understanding The Anatomy of Jealousy here.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
long dong?
Menurut Dr. sorang ni...
Contrary to popular belief, the perfect woman is not based on how physically beautiful she is. The beauty is not based totally on how beautiful her face is either.
Why did Charles divorce Lady Di and go back to Camilla? Cuz Lady Di didn't have what the horsey-faced Camilla has.
1. A nicely proportioned 'chest'. And therefore a supple pair...
2. A nice flat stomach.
3. A nicely proportioned *ss.
4. A nicely proportioned pair of thighs.
And the last one is... Drum roll please...
5. Her va jay jay. Based on her ability to reach orgasm katanya...
What makes a perfect man?
Not his Pierce Brosn@n good looks either...
1. A wide shoulder.
2. A nice chest of the slight 'bantal' -like look.
3. A nice flat abs.
4. Noooooice buns.
And last but not least....
5. A good long dong.
Cuz a fat one that is short ain't gonna cut it.
(These weren't his exact wordslah. He had put it more delicately. I just can't help myself.)
It's all about the proportions, baybeh...
Looking at myself, I dramatically exclaimed, Abang.... goodbyelah, saya ni tak perfect lellalu, cuz for sure aku dah minus 3! Dengan berani matinya Dr. tu telah menyahut, tak adalah, cikgu cuma minus 1 saja and you can work on improving it.
Berani matinya dia!
He boldly went on to tell me what the minus 1 is, and I could have guessed what it is pun, because the crazy dude has been sizing me up all day on Saturday! Gila!
Well, at least I know what I should be improving on to keep my man. Ehem...
Keep my man, my foot.
Hmmm... kenapa entry aku malam ni is the berani mati kind? Kalau W baca mesti dia angkat kening punya. Hahahahaha...
Anyway, kami ada kem motivasi anjuran Pejabat Daerah Lawas over the weekend. The guy in charge is a Dr. and he sure loves to hang out with the ladies, despite his nerdy looks. And in one of our numerous conversations, he had deigned to share with us this itty bitty saucy maucy information. Actually, according to him, this is the findings of a clinical psychology research he did based on the divorce cases throughout Malaysia.
Hmm... Susah nak kata, aku tengah mengantuk ni, esok sekolah and we had a long weekend. Fulfilling as it was, aku mengantuk.
Tapi aku selalu memikirkan apa yang membuatkan sesebuah perkahwinan itu bahagia hingga ke anak cucu. While I know physical attraction is important, how about the other things? Betul ke lelaki prefer unthinking bimbos rather than women with their own thoughts and ideas and opinions? I know, everything pun kena bertempat. Kalau melebih pun tak bagus juga.
Tapi masakan kebanyakan married men that I talked to on the internet selalu memuji yang aku ni pandai berbual and have brilliant ideas and opinions and knowledge on a wide range of things, tak macam isteri-isteri mereka yang suka membatu, tak ada opinion sendiri.
Dalam hati aku selalu nak tempelak mereka, habis dah yang jenis tu ko prefer masa bercinta dulu, bukan itu ke yang kau dapat? Dah lama pakai, pandai la kau nak complain itu ini kat belakang dia? Cuba dia ada depan mata, berani kau? Maybe la those are just sweet nothings people say just to keep the conversation going. Tak tahulah mak.
Memandangkan itu semua dah mula menjelakkan aku, aku pun dah lama memencenkan diri dari chat dan sebagainya. Recently je aku try T@gged. Walaupun cara approach dah banyak berubah, tapi intipatinya sama saja. So, again it made me sick.
Tapi aku percaya, at the end of the day, its all about accepting each other seadanya and keeping in mind the commitment you had bound yourselves to at the beginning of the relationship. And since everything else in life can also be a struggle, a marriage, although it should not be a struggle pun, must at least be worked on and worked on consistently.
Tapi kalau dah tak sayang... apa lagi yang ditunggu, kan?
Apa pun, I am a commitment-phobe myself, so what do I know about relationships anyway? Let alone the science and physics of a marriage. But I am and always remain a hopeful that one of these days there will be someone for me. Kerana aku kenal diri aku dan kekurangan aku, aku harap dia dapat terima, sepertimana aku menerima dia. Sebab aku tak sempurna, malah amat jauh dari itu.
Either way, I just thought this is something interesting to share with ya'll sebab kelakar banget!
Contrary to popular belief, the perfect woman is not based on how physically beautiful she is. The beauty is not based totally on how beautiful her face is either.
Why did Charles divorce Lady Di and go back to Camilla? Cuz Lady Di didn't have what the horsey-faced Camilla has.
1. A nicely proportioned 'chest'. And therefore a supple pair...
2. A nice flat stomach.
3. A nicely proportioned *ss.
4. A nicely proportioned pair of thighs.
And the last one is... Drum roll please...
5. Her va jay jay. Based on her ability to reach orgasm katanya...
What makes a perfect man?
Not his Pierce Brosn@n good looks either...
1. A wide shoulder.
2. A nice chest of the slight 'bantal' -like look.
3. A nice flat abs.
4. Noooooice buns.
And last but not least....
5. A good long dong.
Cuz a fat one that is short ain't gonna cut it.
(These weren't his exact wordslah. He had put it more delicately. I just can't help myself.)
It's all about the proportions, baybeh...
Looking at myself, I dramatically exclaimed, Abang.... goodbyelah, saya ni tak perfect lellalu, cuz for sure aku dah minus 3! Dengan berani matinya Dr. tu telah menyahut, tak adalah, cikgu cuma minus 1 saja and you can work on improving it.
Berani matinya dia!
He boldly went on to tell me what the minus 1 is, and I could have guessed what it is pun, because the crazy dude has been sizing me up all day on Saturday! Gila!
Well, at least I know what I should be improving on to keep my man. Ehem...
Keep my man, my foot.
Hmmm... kenapa entry aku malam ni is the berani mati kind? Kalau W baca mesti dia angkat kening punya. Hahahahaha...
Anyway, kami ada kem motivasi anjuran Pejabat Daerah Lawas over the weekend. The guy in charge is a Dr. and he sure loves to hang out with the ladies, despite his nerdy looks. And in one of our numerous conversations, he had deigned to share with us this itty bitty saucy maucy information. Actually, according to him, this is the findings of a clinical psychology research he did based on the divorce cases throughout Malaysia.
Hmm... Susah nak kata, aku tengah mengantuk ni, esok sekolah and we had a long weekend. Fulfilling as it was, aku mengantuk.
Tapi aku selalu memikirkan apa yang membuatkan sesebuah perkahwinan itu bahagia hingga ke anak cucu. While I know physical attraction is important, how about the other things? Betul ke lelaki prefer unthinking bimbos rather than women with their own thoughts and ideas and opinions? I know, everything pun kena bertempat. Kalau melebih pun tak bagus juga.
Tapi masakan kebanyakan married men that I talked to on the internet selalu memuji yang aku ni pandai berbual and have brilliant ideas and opinions and knowledge on a wide range of things, tak macam isteri-isteri mereka yang suka membatu, tak ada opinion sendiri.
Dalam hati aku selalu nak tempelak mereka, habis dah yang jenis tu ko prefer masa bercinta dulu, bukan itu ke yang kau dapat? Dah lama pakai, pandai la kau nak complain itu ini kat belakang dia? Cuba dia ada depan mata, berani kau? Maybe la those are just sweet nothings people say just to keep the conversation going. Tak tahulah mak.
Memandangkan itu semua dah mula menjelakkan aku, aku pun dah lama memencenkan diri dari chat dan sebagainya. Recently je aku try T@gged. Walaupun cara approach dah banyak berubah, tapi intipatinya sama saja. So, again it made me sick.
Tapi aku percaya, at the end of the day, its all about accepting each other seadanya and keeping in mind the commitment you had bound yourselves to at the beginning of the relationship. And since everything else in life can also be a struggle, a marriage, although it should not be a struggle pun, must at least be worked on and worked on consistently.
Tapi kalau dah tak sayang... apa lagi yang ditunggu, kan?
Apa pun, I am a commitment-phobe myself, so what do I know about relationships anyway? Let alone the science and physics of a marriage. But I am and always remain a hopeful that one of these days there will be someone for me. Kerana aku kenal diri aku dan kekurangan aku, aku harap dia dapat terima, sepertimana aku menerima dia. Sebab aku tak sempurna, malah amat jauh dari itu.
Either way, I just thought this is something interesting to share with ya'll sebab kelakar banget!
ada dia kesah?
So, I never comment on the current issues...
Tapi pasal Y@smin Ahm@d was a man once and decided to be a woman tu, rasanya tak perlu digembar-gemburkan. Cukup sekadar untuk berkongsi maklumat saja, dan bukan nak jatuhkan air muka dia dan keluarganya. Especially because she was born a hermaphrodite and due to that fact, and after consulting the clerics, she decided to have a sex reassignment surgery and continue living her life as a woman. Nothing wrong there.
I just noticed that she had a strong face, a rather bulky neck and a manly aura. But I am a little bit on the manly side myself even when I was born a woman and still am a woman. But her creativity and courage astounds me. I have always have great respect of people who are artistically creative, and in Malaysia, she is it.
She was and always will be one of our brightest shining stars. We'll miss you, Ms. Yasmin.
Tapi pasal Y@smin Ahm@d was a man once and decided to be a woman tu, rasanya tak perlu digembar-gemburkan. Cukup sekadar untuk berkongsi maklumat saja, dan bukan nak jatuhkan air muka dia dan keluarganya. Especially because she was born a hermaphrodite and due to that fact, and after consulting the clerics, she decided to have a sex reassignment surgery and continue living her life as a woman. Nothing wrong there.
I just noticed that she had a strong face, a rather bulky neck and a manly aura. But I am a little bit on the manly side myself even when I was born a woman and still am a woman. But her creativity and courage astounds me. I have always have great respect of people who are artistically creative, and in Malaysia, she is it.
She was and always will be one of our brightest shining stars. We'll miss you, Ms. Yasmin.
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