When I move back to KL, I wanted to catch up with old friends. Go out and have coffee with them. Enjoy our time together reminiscing the good old days. I wanted to do that with all my old friends. And one of them was Marlina.
Marlina and I, we were never that close. She has her own clique of friends and I had mine. I live at home during my uni days anyway. So friends were made during classes, and not too much time spent on socializing with them. I didn't feel like they needed my company. So I never made the effort to be closer to them. I enjoyed my time at uni, studying and making new friends. But most of them, I kept at arm's length. I never got close to them. Except for a few select ones, like Jo and Ita.
But Marlina, I will always remember because she is the type of person who has this intense look on her face when she talks to someone. Like everything that comes out of your mouth is cause for world peace or could cure cancer and for that you will have her undivided attention. Nannette reminded me of this about her during our lunch at the sushi place before I left KK yesterday. She does have that look when she talks to you.
And then, I know it was a joint effort, but I suspect she masterminded my surprise birthday party when we were in matriculation. It touched me deeply. How did I end up with all these wonderful people in my life? What had I done to deserve such appreciation? To realize that my presence in their world is duly noted and appreciated. Other collegemates were in on it too, but Marlina has that aura of someone who has had it good in her life and wanted to spread the love and joy to everyone she touches. She is one thoughtful and caring person. And lonely.
When I got the message from Ita, I thought, what kind of sick joke is this? No one should joke about a friend dying. It's one sick joke!!!
Called everyone I had numbers of. They could not confirm the news. So I went on FB and there it was on one of the profile updates, Al-Fatihah, Rest in peace etc. going out to her.... God! Please don't let it be true! I prayed. But it was true. I had a Razmi on my FB. Got his number from his profile and called him straight away. He confirmed it. And her body was at the hospital, for post-mortem as we were talking. He sms'ed me her address. I had only been there once. But W has a friend living close to Marlina's place, so she knows how to get there easy. So, tired from the trip back from Melaka we made the previous day, I showered and got ready for that trip to Marlina's place at Taman Tun.
All I can remember is that it was nice to see familiar faces pour in one by one as we wait for her body to be brought home. I was still in denial that she is really gone. All the way until her body arrived and were brought in. After solat jenazah, they opened up her the covering of her face. It was really her and she is really gone. Our friend Marlina...
She looked peaceful in her eternal sleep. It was the same face we all knew when she was alive. Only more serene and at peace with the world. I could not bring myself to kneel down and kiss her on the forehead, because I did not want to remember the warm and friendly person I once knew was cold to the touch. I don't want to remember her like that.
For all the friends she has, I never knew she could be lonely sometimes. Last phone call I got from her was a month before Ramadhan 09. She called me in the morning. The ringing phone woke me and I was groggy and I talked half-heartedly. It felt like a dream, because we never talked much on the phone. We do keep in touch, but not as often as we should. I never knew she needed a friend from time to time to get her through those times. She never tells me explicitly that she was ever lonely. The cavewoman that I am does not detect subtlety. She should have banged it on my head so I'd get it. If I knew that was the last time I was ever gonna her voice, I would have said more and called her back just to keep her on the phone with me.
I wish I had called her on all of the trips I made home. I wish I called her more often. I wish I'd made all our phone calls more meaningful. I wish she was still alive.
But that is too late now, because on September 23rd, 2009 she succumbed to her long time illness, a blood disorder that we never knew about. She collapsed while having lunch with her cousin at The Curve. Attempts at reviving her failed. She was taken to a nearby clinic. But everything was in vain. She was gone.
Untuk keluarga Marlina, semoga mereka dapat menempuh dugaan ini dengan sebaiknya. I can't even imagine losing someone as lovely as her. She spent the whole of last year nursing her parents who were recovering from a horrific accident in Kuantan, back to health She did her duties as a daughter well.
For dearest Marlina, semoga rohmu ditempatkan di dalam kalangan roh mereka yang beriman dan dekat dengan Allah SWT. Your pure soul belongs with them. Rest in peace, dear friend. You are deeply missed. Sampai masa, kita pasti bersua kembali.
Marlina and I, we were never that close. She has her own clique of friends and I had mine. I live at home during my uni days anyway. So friends were made during classes, and not too much time spent on socializing with them. I didn't feel like they needed my company. So I never made the effort to be closer to them. I enjoyed my time at uni, studying and making new friends. But most of them, I kept at arm's length. I never got close to them. Except for a few select ones, like Jo and Ita.
But Marlina, I will always remember because she is the type of person who has this intense look on her face when she talks to someone. Like everything that comes out of your mouth is cause for world peace or could cure cancer and for that you will have her undivided attention. Nannette reminded me of this about her during our lunch at the sushi place before I left KK yesterday. She does have that look when she talks to you.
And then, I know it was a joint effort, but I suspect she masterminded my surprise birthday party when we were in matriculation. It touched me deeply. How did I end up with all these wonderful people in my life? What had I done to deserve such appreciation? To realize that my presence in their world is duly noted and appreciated. Other collegemates were in on it too, but Marlina has that aura of someone who has had it good in her life and wanted to spread the love and joy to everyone she touches. She is one thoughtful and caring person. And lonely.
When I got the message from Ita, I thought, what kind of sick joke is this? No one should joke about a friend dying. It's one sick joke!!!
Called everyone I had numbers of. They could not confirm the news. So I went on FB and there it was on one of the profile updates, Al-Fatihah, Rest in peace etc. going out to her.... God! Please don't let it be true! I prayed. But it was true. I had a Razmi on my FB. Got his number from his profile and called him straight away. He confirmed it. And her body was at the hospital, for post-mortem as we were talking. He sms'ed me her address. I had only been there once. But W has a friend living close to Marlina's place, so she knows how to get there easy. So, tired from the trip back from Melaka we made the previous day, I showered and got ready for that trip to Marlina's place at Taman Tun.
All I can remember is that it was nice to see familiar faces pour in one by one as we wait for her body to be brought home. I was still in denial that she is really gone. All the way until her body arrived and were brought in. After solat jenazah, they opened up her the covering of her face. It was really her and she is really gone. Our friend Marlina...
She looked peaceful in her eternal sleep. It was the same face we all knew when she was alive. Only more serene and at peace with the world. I could not bring myself to kneel down and kiss her on the forehead, because I did not want to remember the warm and friendly person I once knew was cold to the touch. I don't want to remember her like that.
For all the friends she has, I never knew she could be lonely sometimes. Last phone call I got from her was a month before Ramadhan 09. She called me in the morning. The ringing phone woke me and I was groggy and I talked half-heartedly. It felt like a dream, because we never talked much on the phone. We do keep in touch, but not as often as we should. I never knew she needed a friend from time to time to get her through those times. She never tells me explicitly that she was ever lonely. The cavewoman that I am does not detect subtlety. She should have banged it on my head so I'd get it. If I knew that was the last time I was ever gonna her voice, I would have said more and called her back just to keep her on the phone with me.
I wish I had called her on all of the trips I made home. I wish I called her more often. I wish I'd made all our phone calls more meaningful. I wish she was still alive.
But that is too late now, because on September 23rd, 2009 she succumbed to her long time illness, a blood disorder that we never knew about. She collapsed while having lunch with her cousin at The Curve. Attempts at reviving her failed. She was taken to a nearby clinic. But everything was in vain. She was gone.
Untuk keluarga Marlina, semoga mereka dapat menempuh dugaan ini dengan sebaiknya. I can't even imagine losing someone as lovely as her. She spent the whole of last year nursing her parents who were recovering from a horrific accident in Kuantan, back to health She did her duties as a daughter well.
For dearest Marlina, semoga rohmu ditempatkan di dalam kalangan roh mereka yang beriman dan dekat dengan Allah SWT. Your pure soul belongs with them. Rest in peace, dear friend. You are deeply missed. Sampai masa, kita pasti bersua kembali.
Marlina
1976 - 2009
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