play-by-play

WARNING : The following is a personal play-by-play entry of my trip back home. None of it will interest you and if any of it does, pay no attention to it, for names have been changed,events modified and conversations altered to best suit the mood of the entry and to protect the privacy of the people included in this entry.

Read at your own risk. You have been forewarned.

And leave your morality at the door.

And when I say play-by-play, I do MEAN play-by-play.



Raya tahun ini;

Memandangkan aku tak nak lagi menangis sambil driving macam Schumacher and menyeranah all the people of Brunei and Sabah and Sarawak kerana menyesakkan jalanraya ke KK pada petang Jumaat, sebab silap ambil tiket kul 4.25 pm, aku tempah tiket malam Sabtu. Ha.... gila kan? Ye... walaupun aku tahu raya will be on Sunday morning. Memang, aku sendiri pun kata gila.

Tapi kan... yang mentensikan aku ialah the fact that the Govmen was so gracious as to grant us an off day on Friday. The night before. Tak ke panas hati ko? I am thankful. Don't get me wrong. Tapi if giving us a day off means we have to part with another RM500 of our hard-earned money, takpelah... simpan je cuti tu untuk Xmas ke apa ke. Wah! First time I marah kan gomen online cemnih! Iyelah, dah tiket Sabtu nak tukar ke Jumaat on such a short notice... Harus kena fine apa bagai. And worse come to worse, tak boleh tukar tiket, kena beli tiket lain, yang confirm dalam RM300 - RM500 lagi. Mak takde abang untuk memohon belas ihsan. So memandangkan penasihat kewangan mak tu kata membazir beli tiket tuh, mak pun tak beli la... Penasihat kewangan mak tau mak tak pandai urus duit. So kena tanya dia bagus ke tak, kalau ada apa-apa keputusan berkaitan kewangan. FOC wo... kalau guna AKPK kena bayar tak, agaknya?

Anyway, memandangkan Jumaat dapat cuti... Terima kasih Datuk... kami pun plan gerak dari Lawas on Friday tu la juga. Ada yang nak gerak petang Khamis. Tapi lepas fikir pasal kerja yang belum lunas sebelum cuti ni, cancel la tu... kami setuju gerak pagi Jumaat.

Kul 10.30 am, I bawa keta pergi umah Zy, picked up Mae, Zy and Susan. Kami berempat la je... Marlene dah pergi dulu the day before tumpang SG. Siapa SG? Hahahahaha... ada la. Nanti wa citer kalau ada masa.

Sampai di KK, hantar Susan kat courthouse, kawan dia tunggu kat situ. Then hantar Zy ke airport. Then check in kat Tang. Then petang tu pergi umah kak Ina lepas tunggu Mae jumpa abang dia yang turun dari Tamparuli nak kirim sayuran kepada family dia di Kuching via adiknya Mae yang nak balik ke Kuching tu.

Oh ye, berbuka dulu dengan Mae. Dia memang tak puasa, tapi temankan I berbuka. Dia belanja lak tu. Thank you, Mae! Ingatkan nak pergi ke Kenny Roger's. But lepas check in letih, driving all morning and then ke sana ke mari lagi. Rehat la dulu kunun.... Sampai kat CP dah full house katanya. Oh... sedey... Teringatlah ada Secret Recipe kat Palm Square, ke sana la kami. Nasib baik ada a few tables lagi belum taken up. Terus directed to our seats by the owner of that brach yang kebetulan ada kat branch tu malam tu. I tegur him macam biasa and he said ya ya, saya sudah belah dua, sana pun saya jaga... oh, bukan you ada twin ka? I asked him. Ada lagi satu branch dia kat Warisan Square right across the street from CP.

I had stewed lamb with rice and veggies, while Mae had Shrimp Macaroni and Cheese. They were both really good. I only had plain water because of the rice I have taken. Limiting my sugar intake the best I can because my body does not need the simple sugars. And Mae had the ever manis and masam Apple and Lime and Somboi. Ada Somboi lagi tu...

Then baru pergi umah kak Ina kat Menggatal. Ingat nak jumpa dia je and beraya dengan anak-anak dia sambil hantar beras yang dia suka sangat tu.

Nak tahu? Kak Ina bagi aku 7 buku cheese sponge cake with cheddar cheese topping. 7 buku. Bagi. SEVEN. FOC. Aku cuma bawakan dia beras Bario je tau? Kak Ina memang baik... Terima kasih kak Ina. Sebelum balik ni nak tempah. Kali ni nak beli. Memang sedap kek dia. Mewah cream cheese dan cheddar cheese berparut, tapi dia charge RM10 je sebuku tau? Aku bangga kawan dengan dia.

Cikgu-cikgu sekitar KK pun untung ada dia kat sana. Beli kat dia RM10, jual kat orang RM13 or RM15 pun orang kata murah lagi. Beli la banyak-banyak woi! Biar murah rezeki kak Ina and anak-anak dia.

I had the whole of Saturday morning free. Ingatkan nak bangun sahur sebab jalan jauh esok nieh.... hurm... takdenye... Tidur sampai tengahari. Oh, hidup bujang, time macam tu memang best. Tapi kenang-kenang balik... hais.... :-)

Kul 5 pagi tu bangun dah, hantar Majorie pergi airport... flight dia sangat awal pagi tu. Tak mandi pun aku. Just wash my face and brush my teeth jer. Lepas hantar Mae, aku balik ke hotel and sambung tidor... bagus tul puasa aku hari tu kan?

Later on, bangun, mandi, kemas barang, aku check out. Aku kuar awal la sikit sebab tahu hari ni last day of shopping untuk warga KK sebelum Aidilfitri. Mesti jam gila punya. Memang pun. Berputar 5 - 6 kali aku mencari parking space kat pasar tu. Sematanya nak belikan udang kering mak aku 2kg. Tapi puas hati... 2kg udang kering telah diperolehi dengan jayanya dengan harga yang berpatutan. Tak la aku balik dengan tangan kosong untuk omak den.

Lepas tu, teringat, aku tak print tiket aku lagi yang masih dalam email. Wahahahaha... pelupa betul! Dengan udang kering di tangan, dah dekat nak sampai kereta, aku patah balik ke pasar, menyeberang ke Plaza Warisan and masuk ke dalam mencari cybercafe. Jumpa la sebijik. Bayar RM1.50, aku guna untuk 3 minit je. Mamat tu kata apa tak cakap nak guna 5 minit je, boleh bayar 50sen je bah. Mana aku tahu? Print pun RM1.20 lagi. Apa-apa je lah labu. Bukan habis RM5 pun. Takpe...

Tadi aku dah cemas dah sebenarnya sebab keta banyak nak mam*** kat KK hari tu. Nak berkejar ke SM Teknik Likas pulak lagi. Tapi by the time I got the tiket printed out, baru makan masa 1 jam dari keluar hotel tadi. Alhamdulillah. I have ample time lagi. Terus ke kereta and campak udang kering ke back seat and drove to SM Teknik Likas ikut jalan shoreline. Traffic was heavy but moving. Memandangkan Nannette belum sampai, aku kemas barang lagi. Balut udang kering dengan aluminum foil untuk elak baunya menyerap ke dalam baju-baju aku dalam luggage. Then taped shut the kotak yang Mak Sitam kirimkan before I left Sund@r after school yesterday. Then melihatkan Nannette belum sampai, aku masuk balik dalam keta and aku pun terlelap. Mata aku memang best. Dia kalau bosan je, terus masuk sleep mode. Macam laptop... conserve battery githoo.

Selepas terlelap beberapa kali menunggu Nannette, aku rebahkan sikit tempat duduk tu, and terus terlena. Sampai lah aku dengar suara terkejut "Oh My GOD!" si Nannette yang dah berpusing mencari aku tapi tak nampak, terkejut tengok aku rupanya ada dalam keta, tidur dengan lena.

Pindah masuk barang dalam kereta barunyer, and kami pergilah ke KKIA. Dia tinggalkan aku kat situ and aku pun pergi check in. Sebelum aku masuk ke balai berlepas, aku teringat... mana Cinonet aku ek? Oh my God!!! Aku cicirkan kat mana? Then teringat aku maybe tertinggal dalam keta Nannette. Gosh... I called her and she called me back dia kat Karamunsing masa tu. Bila dia balik ke kereta dia mesej aku, ada la dalam keta dia. Kat backseat. Lahaulawala... It's so small, aku boleh terlupa nak amik dia. Hmm... takkan nak suh Nat hantar pulak, kan? Biarlah, Nannette simpankan je cuti ni.

Aku pun masuk departure hall. Tak sabar nak fly balik!

On Saturday evening, September 19th, 2009 at about 4.15pm, MH65 took off from KKIA bound for KLIA. The two-and-half- hour flight, I spent napping and napping and napping again. It was still Ramadhan. So the food served onboard the flight was tapao'ed. And enjoying the empty isle seat next to me, with my own seat being on the side of the window. Bliss! How I wish all my flights are like that.

When I got to the KLIA, my brother was already waiting. Previously, there was a misunderstanding. My sister also wanted to come by and pick me up and take me home. But then, my brother had told me earlier on that he would do it. But as it got closer to the date I was due to fly in, they realized there will be a big crowd waiting for me at the airport if they all decide to go to the airport and get me. So a compromise was struck, my sister was let off the hook, and my brother waited for me at the airport with his family tagging along.

I was in my brown Ipanema flip flops, jeans and a black GAP long sleeve shirt with no make up. Gosh, I looked like one of those celebs who got off the plane after a long transatlantic flight. Except for the fact that I am fat and I am no celeb.

The luggage always took forever to get to the baggae claim, so I headed to the restroom. Just as the azan was coming on, I learned that I had in fact, started my periods a few hours prior. So the puasa that day was hangus. Takpe. It was a very stressless and strainless fasting day for me anyway. I freshened up and changed into a light pink long-sleeved shirt and put on some make up and brushed my hair. I look so much better. I don't like looking like a sick person when I get off the plane because then I would worry my family. And a certain L was waiting for me in his car, to exchange the old one ringgit notes I got from a bank in Lawas for duit raya with new ones he got from his bank as I had requested a few days before my flight home.

I got my luggage and box from the carousel, and took out my heels and slipped them on before rolling the trolley out. My eyes scanned my perimeter for a familiar face, until I heard that familiar voice calling my name. "Ci' Na...!" It was Ame my nephew, waiting for me with his dad on the left side among the teksi haram drivers. No wonder la aku tak nampak diorang. Aku memang tak suka pandang arah tu.

Kak Ain the SIL was nowhere in sight, she is probably at the food court having something for iftar. Since Banes pun baru sampai dari JB with his family, he's probably penat gila and hungry too and we proceeded to get to the lower level where the food court is. But then I got a phone call from that certain L and I had to go find him outside.

He drove by in in WQR2**8 and stopped a few meters ahead of me. He reversed a little and I walked up a little to it. I opened the door and got in as if I had done that a million times before. There he was. That face I have been receiving daily mms of every morning on working day for the past 2 months. He looks much better outside. But he's not my boyfriend. I wish he was. He took quite a while just looking at me. Gosh... am I that oogly? Oh well. The exchange of old money to new was made and we made some small talk and then I had to leave again because it is not good to keep a hungry older brother waiting. With a quick goodbye, I was out of the car and making my way back to where I had left my brother and Ame. He drove off. He didn't stay to stare at my fat ass. So he is not my boyfriend. But I like him. And it's not the right thing. So it's strictly business.

We had something to eat at the food court and then after a few phone calls from mom, we were on our way back home.

Sampai kat umah, apa lagi... wallop la rendang, bakso, sup tulang, nasik and macam-macam lagi la yang aku dah lama tunggu nak menjamah. It was great.

Lepas bermalas-malasan, kami semua pergi beli lemang kat Kuang. Yay! Sejak ayah takde, takde siapa yang rajin nak buat lemang. Jaga api tu penat and panas and lama wo... so sebab dah jumpa makcik tu kat Chow Kit, kami cari rumahnya kat Kuang. Senang nak amik lemang. Kalau kat Chow Kit tu, berebut. It was that good, those lemangs she makes. Macam lemang yang ayah buat. Tapi lemang yang ayah buat tetap the best. Padat, lemak, best! I miss them. I miss dad.

Balik umah, nak kemas la kunun. Tapi aku mengantuk and adik aku pun letih. So kami pun tito... Esok pagi tu baru kemas umah. Gila ke apa? Pagi raya baru nak kemas. Sungguh non-orthodox. But that's what happened.

Then bermaaf-maafannya dah tengahari. Keh keh keh... Raya for us is like any other day la... Cuma sebab dia raya je, kita ada lain la sikit ritual tambahan. Then... makan tidur and makan and tidur lagi. Wergh... productive, ain't it?

Lepak kat umah dengan family lebih seronok dari pergi berjalan ke mana-mana on the first day of raya. Aku sangat malas jalan-jalan beraya. Ada la pergi umah jiran tu. Tu je la.

Then Raya kedua pun sama, takde apa yang meriah. My mom cooked up a storm inthe kitchen. L datang. Why? I don't know. We're not a couple, ok? Tah... jangan tanya. Dia nak datang, takkan aku kata jangan. Suka hati la...

Then Raya ketiga baru la kami travel jauh sikit. Balik kampung ke N9. Hehehehe... bukan ada siapa-siapa lagi kat sana. Just visit kubur atuk dan sedara-mara yang dah meninggal lama dulu. Bacakan yassin and doa for them. Then kami patah balik ke Seremban and stopped here and there ke rumah sedara mara yang ada for a visit. Plan nak ke Tampin tak jadi. Sebab? Sebab kak Anim and family balik Muar. Kitorang pun tak call ahead. Takpelah.... melencong ke Melaka and bagusnya Seri Malaysia ada room available! Kami checked in there and bermalam. Petang tu temankan si Fatehah swimming kat pool. Sejam lepas tu ibu call, wah wah wah... handal si Fatehah tu... kang semput, ke spital... Naik lah ke bilik. Dah kena warning dengan omak den. Walaupun W yang call on her behalf, aku boleh dengar suagho omak den mengomel kat belakang tu.

Malamnya, pergi cari makanan. Tapao. Mom was not feeling well and making her go up and down the three levels was not a good idea. So, aku beli 2 set masak asam pedas tetel and ikan kembung dengan nasi. Then order sup tulang and sup cendawan. Then nasi goreng pelbagai jenis; USA, kampung, and cili padi. Then belikan si Fatehah Mee Goreng yang menjadi favourite dia tu. Then singgah Mydin yang besar gila macam Hypermarket tu beli picnic set and other stuff.

Kami picnic dalam bilik. Weeeee!!! Seronoknya!

I am so easily pleased.

Malam tu aku dengan W and Tehah share the queen bed. Ibu tidur kat single bed tu. Lepas kena sepak terajang oleh Tehah, aku tarik bed covering top layer yang lebar dan tebal tu dan aku tidur berbungkus atas lantai. Sungguh selesa! Sebab aku tak suka share katil dengan orang. Sebab kena sepak terajang. And sebab katil tu bergelora bila orang bergerak. Empuk ya amat. Tapi aku tak lena la kalau bergoyang sepanjang malam dek Tehah yang ganeh tu. Adik aku, pergh... lena je.

Then after breakfast the next day, pergi belikan omak den bekfast gak. Omak den tak larat nak naik turun tanggo... konolah poie kuar mencari makanan pulak lepas mewallop bekfast buffet kat hotel.

Then, kami kemas bilik. Wahahaha! Cuma we didn't make the beds je. Sebab? Kesian la kat orang kerja tu. Tak suka la tinggalkan bilik macam tempat buang sampah. Macam sesetengah orang. Memang la diorang bergaji untuk kemas bilik. Tapi tak salah kalau make a little effort. Bukan susah pun. Sampah pun siap kami bungkuskan. Sebab sampah kami banyak... maklum je. Malam tadi and pagi tadi menapao makanan. Yang memang dah terangan jadi perkara larangan. Kalau ibu sihat takpe, boleh semua kuar makan kat kedai sekali.

Balik ke rumah... tetiba Ita text. Betul ke, Marlina meninggal? What kind of sick joke is that? I thought to myself. Tak tahu. Nanti aku mesej balik... Last-last I found out the truth on FB.

I went to her home to hopefully see her one last time.

I saw her and all the tears I had been holding back fell in a steady stream amidst sobs of anguish of not being able to control my emotions among the people who are much much closer to her.

I left before she was taken to the mosque for anothe prayer session. Lucky her. Orang sembahyangkan dia dua kali. Di rumah dan di masjid.

Sementara tu W and mom and T waited for me kat umah W's friend Intan on the other side of the neighbourhood. Dia dah jemput makan, we ate. But biasalah, XXL mana cukup kan, makan kat umah saiz S dan M, maka we headed to a bistro kat South City Plaza and I had another round of Foodtravaganza. Yummmm...

Rabu, aku pergi lunch dengan S. He is such a pleasant person to be with. Kesian dia belum berpunya. Ada sesiapa berminat? Pemuda 37 tahun dari Hyderabad, India. A degree in Civil Engineering, But chooses to be a Juruukur Bahan and also appointed project manager where he is employed. Very lovey dovey touchy feely kind of person with such sweet thoughtful messages throughout the day for anyone he is in love with. And he is a devout Hindu. Rambut kurang tapi masih fit and tall and I think very kemas and proper. If he were Muslim, I would have kept him all to myself. Because he is so sweet to me. And single too.

It was a pleasant lunch we had at KL Sentral Secret Recipe. And I laughed and laughed and laughed till my facial muscles jadi sakit and tegang. Bagus betul duduk berbual dengan S. Dia sangat lucu dan comel. And has a very sunny disposition that he makes you feel the sunny side of life along with him.

I would have kept him there with me longer, but I think it was a long enough time la, to be out of the office on a working day. So I let him go. W hantar ke KL Sentral tadi. Baliknya, aku balik naik Komuter. S belikan tiket sampai ke Seremban.

W amik kat depan stesen komuter. Then pergi mana ek? Hmm... Oh... Pergi Banting. Beli kain for Mak Sitam. Then ke Jenjarum tengok anak-anak buah yang dah balik ke sana on Monday night. Then ke Putrajaya, beli ayam di Mydin. Then balik.

The next morning, A messaged me. I am in KL. Can we meet at KL Sentral? Aduh mama... Malas betul nak berjumpa-jumpaan dah dekat dekat nak balik ke tempat bertugas ni. Sangkanya dah tak jadi cuz senyap je dia. Tetiba kata dah sampai. Kalau dekat, mau je aku kata aku kat Johor. Tapi ni, dia dari Terengganu nu ha. Hais... OKlah, see you there.

W hantar lagi. Tatau la napa dia rajin nak hantar.... 20 mins je kalau dia hantar. Tapi boleh je kalau aku naik komuter. Tapi maybe because dia bosan, maka dia hantar la juga.

A dah tunggu di sana. When I got there, dia tengah baca paper. He did seem terkejut when he saw me. Hurgh... Yes, I am FAT. Get over it.

Control habis dia... kept on baca paper sambil cakap-cakap small talk with me. Flew in from Terengganu pagi tadi. And balik malam esok. As I am going to balik too.

We ordered some lunch and when the food came, macam marathon makan. Bukan dia makan lahap. Just very quick. Aku je yang terkulat-kulat. Naik segan pulak makan slow macam slow loris. Slow loris pun boleh kecik ati dibuatnya.

Lepas habis lunch dia ajak pergi driving-driving. Ke mana? Tak tahu... Pergi Alamanda? OK. Tengok wayang? Ada kerja la, kena jumpa publisher. Hmm... Round-round kat masjid tu je la.

Then he dropped me off at home. Hmm... Then? Kawan called to go to her place for some makan-makan. Hmm... berbelah bahagi. Nak pergi, tak tahu rumah. And my brother and his family are coming over to spend the night with us sebab malam tu je la last chance nak gather all the not so many people in my little extended family tu. Aku tak nak kuar. Aku nak stay at home malam last tu and main dengan anak-anak buah. Aku called them back and told them I am not coming. Even gathering dengan Diane and Aina pun postponed until the next time I will be in KL.

Pagi Sabtu kemas barang. Senja, kuar ke airport. L tunggu kat sana. Jumpa last time katanya. Whatever.

Checked myself in. And waited with my family for the time for me to go in. L called and asked me to go outside and see him in the car. The day he came to my mom's place, he asked me to come along with him to buy his work shirts. But we had an argument and I didn't want to go. I didn't understand why he wanted me to tag along. Jadi tukang angkat barang kah?

Anyway, he said sorry. For what? For the argument and for being mad at you and making you feel sad. But you said it wasn't an argument. I know you were upset about it. So? I feel bad about that so I apologize. OK... (Whatever you say, Mister).

We talked a little bit more and then my mom called me. What you doin taking so long? We're waiting for you at the entrance to the departure hall. OK OK...

Bubbyelah awak. I gotta go. Boarding is at 8.45, I still haven't said goodbye to my family yet. OK.

Got out of the car, didn't even turn back to watch him drive away. Will we meet again? I have no idea. I hope so. But not betting on it.

Went and looked for my family and they were right where my mom said they were. I kissed and hugged everyone and was ready to go when it was told that the flight was delayed, over the PA system. from 9.15 to 9.45. I wonder what was the matter. We sat around some more at the playground behind the entrance. Then I went in, everybody waved goodbye through the glass wall that faces the escalator that goes down to the departure halls. My brother took pictures of me going down the escalator. Walked a looong distance to Gate A8. And waited for ten minutes before the call for boarding came on. I was on the plane in 15 minutes or so and spent another half an hour waiting for inbound passengers from Auckland. Didn't really matter. I'd get there LATE no matter how quickly we departed that night.

MH64 bound for Inchon, Korea was a bumpy ride. The landing was rough too. Maybe the weather was working againts the flight crew that time. I'm glad we got there safe and sound. Thanks to all the flight crew. I had plenty of iced water to keep me hydrated during the long wait and the flight itself.

Left KKIA in an aiport taxi at around 1.30 am and checked in at Tang. Changed and went to sleep in the King-sised bed all alone. The room felt huge. All the better for me to soak in the 'back for work and away from family again' feeling. No need to call Nannette yet. As arranged, she will come by the next afternoon in my car, and we'll have lunch before I drop her off at her school.

The TV was on, droning in the background, the lights were off and I was blinking endlessly as I stared at the ceiling, as the light from the TV set flickered all over the room. Sleep, please take over and take me away to that happy place.

It was probably 3 in the morning before I finally dozed off. The phone alarm went off at 6. But I didn't get out of bed till 8.30 and went down for breakfast at 9. Came back up 45 minutes later. Sat back in the bed under the covers savouring the last few moments I will spend in the cool air-conditioned room. It's doing wonders to the rashes on my face I developed over the week at home. I can't stand the sun I learned over the week. My skin blew into red, bumpy, blotchy rashes all over my cheeks and chin when the weather got too hot. It looked like the face of the moon. It bothered me a little. But L, S and A said they didn't see it. Yeah I complained about it to them too. I can be so vain sometimes. Nah... just don't want them to think that my face is permanently like that if they did notice it.

Well, the ac certainly did wonders on it. The redness went away and the angry and moist bumps subsided overnight. It was almost gone by the time I got back to Lawas, with the car ac full blast straight to my face. Bertuah punya pipi ni... Kena cari hubby kaya la nampaknya, tak tahan panas. Sungguh mengecewakan kerana selama ni aku sangka aku kebal. Merempit masa U dulu tidak cukup untuk mengeraskan kulit muka ku rupanya.

Got out of bed, mandi lagi sekali. Rasa macam tak mandi je sebelum turun breakfast tadi. And lagipun it's going to be a long drive to Lawas. Sure panas berpeluh juga nanti. Slow slow, pakai mekap. Keringkan rambut. Packing barang semula. Pakai baju.

Nannette messaged. She said she will be along in a few moments. I came down to the lobby and checked out. I forgot my mom's rendang in the fridge. I came back later to claim it and send one container to kak Ina' place and had nasi ayam with her before I left.

Nannette waited in the car at the VIP parking lot while I settled the bill. Then we waited for Mae. Then we went and had lunch of sushi at Dreamfood at CP. We talked about Marlina. The limited memories we had with her was enough to show that she was indeed a wonderful person, inside and out.

I messaged Marlene earlier and asked if she wanted to go back to Lawas with me. Yes, we're coming with you. Zy ada ni. Oh... OK. Ada Mae and Susan ni sekali. Sempit sikit la tapi muat, kalau tak kisah. Makan la dulu. Kami baru duduk kat tempat makan ni. OK, kami pun lapar.

Lepas lunch, we walked a little bit around Palm Square. Hati masih tak seronok, masih di KL. So, mood nak membelah tu tak sekuat biasa. Dah puas jalan, returned to the car and drove off to Likas. Dropped Nannette off and said goodbye to her. Went to thecourthouse to pick up Susan. Raced to KKIA and picked up the other two. Dropped them off at Sunny for groceries while I went to Menggatal to drop off the rendang. Kak Ina, macam biasa suruh join makan nasi ayam dia baru siap masak. Lynette si Langkah Kanan. What can I say? Dah lunch kena lunch lagi. Terimalah hakikat, rezeki aku memang murah... Alhamdulillah.

Lepas tu pergi ambil diorang balik, and drove back to Lawas. Kul 8 sampai. Had dinner at Sugarbun dengan Marlene, Susan and Mae. Sebelum tu nak langgar jalan yang ditutup untuk bina Seri Malaysia tu. Degil. Rupanya ada pilon concrete dilintangkan kat tengah jalan, tak kasi orang lalu. Hehehehe... patah balik and amik jalan sunyi kat belakang Pejabat Daerah. Saja nak tengok. Dah lama benar ditutup jalan tu. Diorang pasang cerucuk kat tengah-tengah jalan tu. I drove around them like a slithering snake. Tapi tak lepas juga because pilon yang melintang jalan tu, macam aral yang melintang, katanya! Patah balik, retraced our route.

Lepas tu balik rumah. Mandi. Jiwa masih lesu from the trip back. I miss home. And the uncertainty of having three suitors that I don't even know what to do with. Jumpa so they all muntah and tak nak jumpa aku lagi. Mana aku tahu diorang okay je dengan aku with me being the way I am. Since none of them have declared their feelings for me, I guess there is nothing wrong in being friends with all three and let time do its work.

Spare me your morality. I am an amoral being. Nothing you can say about this will waver my resolve. Cewah. Statement berani mati of the century. Perlu ke?

Let time do its work. I am tired of putting too much hope on anything. Life is much better when you just let everything fall into place by itself. Continually putting yourself in situations prone to heartache will only age you. I do not want to look older than I am as I am already fat. Do not want to add OLD to the repertoire. Well, we all grow old. Just rambling.

Logged on. Replied FB messages. Checked the YIM. Quiet night. Read Dee-Listed. Went to sleep. Esoknya sekolah... sampai pencen la aku ke 'sekolah'.

My Raya. All I would want it to be. Except for the part where Marlina left us to be with God. May her soul rest in peace.