Thursday, February 21, 2008


Would it be fair if I say this; that women marry mostly for the regular attention and affection from the opposite sex.

Other than produce asexually, women don’t need much from men. Well, I am aware of the fact of men reserve the same right as women, where apart from propagating the species and being fond of having a soft naked form snuggling close to them after a good session, they don’t really need women around. They find a lot of the female quirks irritating most of the time, but strangely still feel drawn to us when the urge strikes. Other than as something to play with and something to show off to the rest of the losers, they don’t really need women either.

They’re only proud of their female counterparts and get possessive when they are presentable or look far better than the rest of the crowd. Just look at the way of most married Malay men when they go out with their wives who had gained a few pounds and not really bothering about appearance; they’ll always maintain a distance of approximately a meter and a half from the wife, ahead of them, usually. What, with that pot belly and balding head, is distancing yourselves from your not so attractive wives, going to increase the probability of hot young things to be attracted to you? You’re ashamed of the goods you yourself have willingly helped damage in the first place and didn’t really make any half-assed attempt at fixing them up again… The irony.

What’s wrong with PDA* in public when and if you have endured a long-lasting, loving and fulfilling marriage? FYI, that is actually something to be proud of. Not the shameless hand-holding and groping in public when you’re newly in love, with all those hormones raging and, when even the fart smells like blooms in spring, not even knowing if it would end with a wonderful and lasting marriage or a botched attempt at abortion.

That’s easy. Too easy.

Hey, don’t get your panties all in a bunch. I didn’t say all the men I knew is like that. My dad wasn’t like that. My eldest brother isn’t like that. I would like to say the same about my second older brother if I ever saw him out with his ex. These women they married, aren’t exactly cut outs of models in a magazine. But they made the effort to look good. My mom is a huge but well-kept and well-dressed woman. By well-kept, I meant to say that she eats well, and the genetics didn’t hurt, so she looks younger than her real age. And she was never sloppy. I don’t think dad ever held her hand when they went out, but he always makes sure that she’s close. And I bet the jealousy-triggered rants under his breath never stopped amusing my mom.

The same goes for my two brothers and their wives. I don’t see them holding hands either, probably would be too much in front of me I guess. But they never walk too far apart when they go out and they make contact like couples should.

I’m not blaming men or women for anything. We’re just built the way we are. Some are willing to make accommodations, some don’t.

It all boils down to the chemistry and respect for each other. Love someone enough to acknowledge their rights and respect those rights. Women should not be complacent and men should not be assholes. Reaching the comfort zone is no excuse to let go. You can’t help losing hair if that’s what runs in the family, but you can help yourself from being an asshole, because it’s not really a genetic trait. The same goes for being a bitch. You can’t help developing blubber after a few kids if that’s what runs in the family and you can’t afford a personal trainer and nutritionist, but you can help from being sloppy, because that is not a genetic trait either.

It’s not the PDA, really. I just don’t see how men and women can marry and be together for long if they both want totally different things. They’d always say for the sake of the kids. Hey, kids are resilient beings. As long as you don’t keep chewing off each other’s ass every time you cross paths, and make sure the alimony is updated, I don’t think it would bother them too much having two families instead of one.

Come on… it’s just easier to gain pity from unsuspecting naives if you’re stuck in a so-called loveless marriage than if you decide that it is time to be independent and cut off the tethers that’s been preventing you from soaring higher.

Or is divorce simply too expensive, especially when it is with a vindictive spouse? So instead of preparing for that ugly battle, why not invest in the nurturing process more?

Affection and attention; those are the only things I really need in a relationship. I don’t think that is too much to ask of anyone who is willing to invest his time and emotions in a long-term and fulfilling relationship. The rest of it will come with the O&D** Package that usually comes with matrimony.

I just need some attention and TLC. Otherwise I can just forgo the whole relationship thing. Honestly, I do get lonely sometimes, but not THAT lonely to want to be miserable in an unhappy long-term relationship with anyone.

No, not THAT lonely.

*Public Display of Affection

*Obligation and Devotion Package

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