How many decades ago was it when it was 8.8.88? You do the math, I am hopeless with math.
Anyway, I like that number. Today is 8.8.08. I like 7 and 3 also. I am not obsessed with these numbers, I just happen to like them better compared to the other numbers.
Oh, and I have made peace with myself, that due to the way I am, my character flaw I mean, I should accept the fact that I will never have a close female friend like every other people I know and I will never have many close friends like many people I know, simply because I will never know what to do with them and it would be unfair to be tamak and horde all these people when you are positively clueless when it comes to maintaining a life-long friendship.
So I am thankful for the few that I have because these are the only people who can stand me and my ways and knows that no matter how bad I get, all those badness actually do come from a good place, as mad as it sounds. I'm just socially inept.
One of the things that make me cry and make me realize what a lousy friend I have been is when I think about the people who made the effort to throw me birthday parties. I wish to God that they never did it. I am grateful. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate what they had done for me out of the sweetness of their hearts. But how do you tell them that they are all doing it in vain? Just seeing their smiles of fulfillment just makes the tears well up in my eyes and burst down my cheeks. All that for nothing.
How do you tell people not to get too close when you can't help being the deceivingly cheerful sunshine, when in reality, there is nothing inside you but pulp and you have no interest in celebrating anything in life.
Age and work now keeps me busy. People do not try to get close to me anymore. I am still the deceivingly happy person that I was before, but I have lessened contact, with all of them, so they won't fall for this happy facade that comes naturally to me. Finally, no more guilt.
I'll be 32 soon, and as always, I don't feel a day older. I hope that will keep my spirits up and not make me act very much unlike my age, God forbid. I wonder how will I be when I reach 42... if I ever get there.
I've never been afraid of growing old, so I don't understand why some people obsess about it and lie about their age. Like, is it gonna make them more appealing? I won't know until I put myself in their shoes. Till then, I'm busy living and working.
TTYL.
Anyway, I like that number. Today is 8.8.08. I like 7 and 3 also. I am not obsessed with these numbers, I just happen to like them better compared to the other numbers.
Oh, and I have made peace with myself, that due to the way I am, my character flaw I mean, I should accept the fact that I will never have a close female friend like every other people I know and I will never have many close friends like many people I know, simply because I will never know what to do with them and it would be unfair to be tamak and horde all these people when you are positively clueless when it comes to maintaining a life-long friendship.
So I am thankful for the few that I have because these are the only people who can stand me and my ways and knows that no matter how bad I get, all those badness actually do come from a good place, as mad as it sounds. I'm just socially inept.
One of the things that make me cry and make me realize what a lousy friend I have been is when I think about the people who made the effort to throw me birthday parties. I wish to God that they never did it. I am grateful. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate what they had done for me out of the sweetness of their hearts. But how do you tell them that they are all doing it in vain? Just seeing their smiles of fulfillment just makes the tears well up in my eyes and burst down my cheeks. All that for nothing.
How do you tell people not to get too close when you can't help being the deceivingly cheerful sunshine, when in reality, there is nothing inside you but pulp and you have no interest in celebrating anything in life.
Age and work now keeps me busy. People do not try to get close to me anymore. I am still the deceivingly happy person that I was before, but I have lessened contact, with all of them, so they won't fall for this happy facade that comes naturally to me. Finally, no more guilt.
I'll be 32 soon, and as always, I don't feel a day older. I hope that will keep my spirits up and not make me act very much unlike my age, God forbid. I wonder how will I be when I reach 42... if I ever get there.
I've never been afraid of growing old, so I don't understand why some people obsess about it and lie about their age. Like, is it gonna make them more appealing? I won't know until I put myself in their shoes. Till then, I'm busy living and working.
TTYL.
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