No.
I'm not dead yet.
In case that is what any of you have been thinking all this while.
I just went through some really long patch of laziness. Even as I am writing this, I still think I should not be picking tonight to come back to writing anything because I don't exactly have anything worthwhile to write about. As if that had ever been a problem for me before. But that's the thing; I don't have anything to talk about. I take that as a good sign, because I started this out being angry. Very angry. That anger is gone and in its place, is acceptance. I don't know. I guess I just got tired of everything.
Don't read on. No reason to waste time and go on reading this blog. But I can always go on typing.
Well, since I last wrote some things have happened and those things are, some of them mundane, some of them liberating. You guess which one is which.
1. Went home to Selangor to spend two weeks with my family.
This was great because;
a) I did not have any argument with my mom. At all. The school break went really well. I don't know if my mom went easier with me, or I had finally grown up mentally to understand that that is how my mom has been and always will be. Besides, seeing that my mom growing older does make me think again how I have been as a daughter.
Things went so well that my mom had been calling me every other day since I came back and was actually mad at me when I told her that I won't be back in August because I will be home for Eid instead. Until I told her that the 'cheap tickets' were bogus. Well, at least to people like me who are too damned lazy to keep a close eye on that website to make sure that I actually do get to fly home cheap.
b) I have a niece now. And her name is Amira Batrisya. Well, my brother has this obsession about wanting his kids be leaders it seems, hence the 'Amir' word at the beginning of all his kids' names.
I have taken care of too many kids in my younger days to actually like her immediately. Gosh, am I a monster? I don't really like the fact that I don't really like it when she cries and there is nothing I can do to quiet her down. They all coo and go gaa gaa with her. I don't. I can't. I don't do baby talk. Period. My kids will pop out talking like Queen Elizabeth. Haha!
I loved the two older boys, both are Amirs and they are adorable and cute and boisterous and naughty, but still get all quiet and nice when I get mad at them. Not for long. Enough so that they would pick up the mess they had made and tidied up their play area. I have that effect on kids, you see. Sort of a military general streak. Just like my mom.
c) I wish I had more time to spend with my sister. But I didn't. She is being worked to the ground by HSBC. Those of you who are planning to get a job there, at Cyberjaya, don't. Well, maybe you should, so you can help lighten my sister's burden and she could get her weekends free so she can spend that with me!
Well, they are working her to her grave actually. She has high blood pressure and she is on medication. She is 27 and on medication. How bad do you think that is?
She goes to work at 11.oo am and does not come home till 7.00am the next day!!! What kind of crap extortion is that? She should quit her job. But then she is having a hard time to find a new one. She had been looking but they keep turning her down. That... the rejection, in itself is hard enough for her. It would not be too hard for me or the rest of you, but my sister is a very sensitive soul. And the workload that they are piling on her and their expectations of her at the workplace is, I think, too much. Extremely over the top. No one with her health would dare to endure what she is going through. She does not sleep! And you know how a person with a bp condition needs to have enough sleep at night. Sleeping in the daytime, just for two hours DOES NOT CUT IT! And her UK customers are from hell!
Warning : People from the UK has a big huge gaping garbage can for a mouth. They are not the nice, civilized, proper people you'd like to think they are.
Well, not all of them, actually. Just people who lost checks in the system and demanding that the people at FirstDirect to look for them.
It's one thing, if you lost a 100 pound sterling check, I totally understand if you'd freak out and start talking like the little trash mouth that you are. But a twelve pound check?
I mean, who the fuck writes a twelve pound check? You can't even carry twelve lousy pounds in your wallet? What the fuck?
And then you go fuck up my poor sister's day. Over twelve pounds? Can anyone go any lower than that?
Seriously, she came home crying, sobbing, one night, she freaked me out. I thought she hit someone on the way home. But she told me she just had a very bad week and that's all because of the way those fucking Britons talk to the people who are supposed to assist them.
I wish I can tell those bastards and bitches who has those potty mouths that their bank are cheapskates and they had chosen Asia to plant a place where you can call and get help if you are stupid enough to write a twelve pound check and losing it in transaction. And again, they also picked Asia because non of you snot-nosed, unemployed, bottom-feeders who feed on welfare would even think of getting this job to feed your children. And these so-called English people don't really speak English! They speak a language from hell. And whoever thought Scottish sounds cute on TV should try getting my sister's initial job, because I bet you CANNOT make out what the hell comes out of their mouths.
Not all of the customers are bad potty mouthed people. Some of them are nice. I know Princess Di, despite her mistakes was a very nice person. But I am not too sure of the rest of the kingdom because I have never been in that country and not planning on going there any time soon, and I have never had my sister's job. Thank God. I might have crumbled like a piece of cookie.
Well, I wish I had been able to spend more time with my sister. She worked all week and all weekend. Until the Friday before I left. We went to get some sushi, the two of us. I wish we had more time to do more stuff together. But mom was all alone at home, we felt guilty leaving her alone, we had to rush home afterwards.
2) I got four shoes for less than RM100.
3) I met J.
For less than two hours at Midvalley.
4) I dissolved association with J.
Whatever we had, it was toxic. For the both of us. And it was about time.
5) I realized that I am good at what I do at work.
People keep moving their kids from the bad school next door to mine. And those who are already are at my school, does not complain when I send out letters of notification of punishment for their kids. They actually come to school to meet with me and talk like normal people.
I have had some problematic parents who can't seem to believe that their kids are normal kids that can make stupid mistakes too. But they have since quieted down after listening to my reasoning and seen the evidence.
6) I have reorganized the committees under me.
So I can a lot more people involved and get a lot more done.
I am such a control freak sometimes, it's a little difficult for me to trust that other people are perfectly capable of handling most of the things that I think they can't. Like my mom?
Well, I now know that if I show them how to do it right, they will do it right. They can even do better than I do. Not.
7) My periods has not stopped for more than a month.
But that doesn't scare me. I don't feel like I am drained of blood because it keep stopping after every drop. It stops for a few days and all of a sudden surprise me with a drop. That had been keeping since June 13th. I have an inkling why that has been happening. It's probably the mesication I am putting myself on. I quit that. The periods has stopped, for real this time, I hope. We'll see if it keeps happening the next cycle.
8) I am tired, I am gonna sleep and try to write more the next time I log on to this poor blog.
I have not been able to go to KK since I came back. While it had been a weekly activity for me, it has ceased to be lately. I am turning into an ultra slob!
I'm not dead yet.
In case that is what any of you have been thinking all this while.
I just went through some really long patch of laziness. Even as I am writing this, I still think I should not be picking tonight to come back to writing anything because I don't exactly have anything worthwhile to write about. As if that had ever been a problem for me before. But that's the thing; I don't have anything to talk about. I take that as a good sign, because I started this out being angry. Very angry. That anger is gone and in its place, is acceptance. I don't know. I guess I just got tired of everything.
Don't read on. No reason to waste time and go on reading this blog. But I can always go on typing.
Well, since I last wrote some things have happened and those things are, some of them mundane, some of them liberating. You guess which one is which.
1. Went home to Selangor to spend two weeks with my family.
This was great because;
a) I did not have any argument with my mom. At all. The school break went really well. I don't know if my mom went easier with me, or I had finally grown up mentally to understand that that is how my mom has been and always will be. Besides, seeing that my mom growing older does make me think again how I have been as a daughter.
Things went so well that my mom had been calling me every other day since I came back and was actually mad at me when I told her that I won't be back in August because I will be home for Eid instead. Until I told her that the 'cheap tickets' were bogus. Well, at least to people like me who are too damned lazy to keep a close eye on that website to make sure that I actually do get to fly home cheap.
b) I have a niece now. And her name is Amira Batrisya. Well, my brother has this obsession about wanting his kids be leaders it seems, hence the 'Amir' word at the beginning of all his kids' names.
I have taken care of too many kids in my younger days to actually like her immediately. Gosh, am I a monster? I don't really like the fact that I don't really like it when she cries and there is nothing I can do to quiet her down. They all coo and go gaa gaa with her. I don't. I can't. I don't do baby talk. Period. My kids will pop out talking like Queen Elizabeth. Haha!
I loved the two older boys, both are Amirs and they are adorable and cute and boisterous and naughty, but still get all quiet and nice when I get mad at them. Not for long. Enough so that they would pick up the mess they had made and tidied up their play area. I have that effect on kids, you see. Sort of a military general streak. Just like my mom.
c) I wish I had more time to spend with my sister. But I didn't. She is being worked to the ground by HSBC. Those of you who are planning to get a job there, at Cyberjaya, don't. Well, maybe you should, so you can help lighten my sister's burden and she could get her weekends free so she can spend that with me!
Well, they are working her to her grave actually. She has high blood pressure and she is on medication. She is 27 and on medication. How bad do you think that is?
She goes to work at 11.oo am and does not come home till 7.00am the next day!!! What kind of crap extortion is that? She should quit her job. But then she is having a hard time to find a new one. She had been looking but they keep turning her down. That... the rejection, in itself is hard enough for her. It would not be too hard for me or the rest of you, but my sister is a very sensitive soul. And the workload that they are piling on her and their expectations of her at the workplace is, I think, too much. Extremely over the top. No one with her health would dare to endure what she is going through. She does not sleep! And you know how a person with a bp condition needs to have enough sleep at night. Sleeping in the daytime, just for two hours DOES NOT CUT IT! And her UK customers are from hell!
Warning : People from the UK has a big huge gaping garbage can for a mouth. They are not the nice, civilized, proper people you'd like to think they are.
Well, not all of them, actually. Just people who lost checks in the system and demanding that the people at FirstDirect to look for them.
It's one thing, if you lost a 100 pound sterling check, I totally understand if you'd freak out and start talking like the little trash mouth that you are. But a twelve pound check?
I mean, who the fuck writes a twelve pound check? You can't even carry twelve lousy pounds in your wallet? What the fuck?
And then you go fuck up my poor sister's day. Over twelve pounds? Can anyone go any lower than that?
Seriously, she came home crying, sobbing, one night, she freaked me out. I thought she hit someone on the way home. But she told me she just had a very bad week and that's all because of the way those fucking Britons talk to the people who are supposed to assist them.
I wish I can tell those bastards and bitches who has those potty mouths that their bank are cheapskates and they had chosen Asia to plant a place where you can call and get help if you are stupid enough to write a twelve pound check and losing it in transaction. And again, they also picked Asia because non of you snot-nosed, unemployed, bottom-feeders who feed on welfare would even think of getting this job to feed your children. And these so-called English people don't really speak English! They speak a language from hell. And whoever thought Scottish sounds cute on TV should try getting my sister's initial job, because I bet you CANNOT make out what the hell comes out of their mouths.
Not all of the customers are bad potty mouthed people. Some of them are nice. I know Princess Di, despite her mistakes was a very nice person. But I am not too sure of the rest of the kingdom because I have never been in that country and not planning on going there any time soon, and I have never had my sister's job. Thank God. I might have crumbled like a piece of cookie.
Well, I wish I had been able to spend more time with my sister. She worked all week and all weekend. Until the Friday before I left. We went to get some sushi, the two of us. I wish we had more time to do more stuff together. But mom was all alone at home, we felt guilty leaving her alone, we had to rush home afterwards.
2) I got four shoes for less than RM100.
3) I met J.
For less than two hours at Midvalley.
4) I dissolved association with J.
Whatever we had, it was toxic. For the both of us. And it was about time.
5) I realized that I am good at what I do at work.
People keep moving their kids from the bad school next door to mine. And those who are already are at my school, does not complain when I send out letters of notification of punishment for their kids. They actually come to school to meet with me and talk like normal people.
I have had some problematic parents who can't seem to believe that their kids are normal kids that can make stupid mistakes too. But they have since quieted down after listening to my reasoning and seen the evidence.
6) I have reorganized the committees under me.
So I can a lot more people involved and get a lot more done.
I am such a control freak sometimes, it's a little difficult for me to trust that other people are perfectly capable of handling most of the things that I think they can't. Like my mom?
Well, I now know that if I show them how to do it right, they will do it right. They can even do better than I do. Not.
7) My periods has not stopped for more than a month.
But that doesn't scare me. I don't feel like I am drained of blood because it keep stopping after every drop. It stops for a few days and all of a sudden surprise me with a drop. That had been keeping since June 13th. I have an inkling why that has been happening. It's probably the mesication I am putting myself on. I quit that. The periods has stopped, for real this time, I hope. We'll see if it keeps happening the next cycle.
8) I am tired, I am gonna sleep and try to write more the next time I log on to this poor blog.
I have not been able to go to KK since I came back. While it had been a weekly activity for me, it has ceased to be lately. I am turning into an ultra slob!
2 comments:
miss you...thanks for helping me buying that shoes...cantik dan selesa. Alert me when you are in town. Leh gi shopping lagi...
yo!
Missed you too. I am glad we wen t shopping that day. We never get to do that ... maybe next time we'll be lucky and get to do it again. I'm happy you love the shoes.
I just realized that I also got a pair of black and white peep toe shoes last time I was in KK. I wasn't even thinking about those you got for yourself.
Sorry for the late reply. I am such a lazy ass updating lately.
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