I called the travel agency as soon as we hung up. The earliest flight out to Miri was at 3.45pm. WTF? I just took that and a 4.50pm return flight on Monday. I called him back.
Me : 3.45 je yang paling awal.
Him : What? Takde dah yang lain?
Me : Takde…
Him : Can’t you drive?
Me : Tak pandai jalan kat sana, tak pernah drive, pergi untuk kerja je, never for leisure, take
taxi most of the time, bla bla bla…
Him : Macam-macam alasanla… kalau dah tak nak datang tu, ada je la…
Me : (Dalam hati) ... amboi amboi mengada juga dia ni...
Me :OK, OK, I try call lagi,I will see what I can do.
Called the travel agency sekali lagi. I took the 5.50pm flight on Friday instead.
Me : 5.50pm Friday.
Him : OK.
Me : What time you get in Miri?
Him : Before 9pm.
Me : OK. I’ll wait for you at the airport.
I wondered apa nak dibuat di Miri, 3 hari 3 malam? I don't think Miri is a happening town. Maybe I tak pandai nak cari the nightspots kut? But honestly, I have been there only a few times over the ten-year period most of the time just on transit on the way to Kuching, or attending meetings that lasts only a few hours. I always hop on the earliest flight back home. I don't know anyone there, and even if I do, I am not the type who would call people up just so they can take me places. That feels so much like taking advantage of them. Or am I just weird?
Anyway, I don't know my way around Miri. It is not my kind of town. Ask me about KK, I might just be able to tell you about anything. Heh...
Apa nak buat di sana, 3D3N? I dunno, but he's probably got plans in his head, he always does. Besides, he's lived there for a few years, he probably knows that city like the back of his hands.
I boarded the plane and landed in Miri at almost 7pm, Friday evening. When I turned on the phone, there was already a missed call from him. Moments later, as I sat there waiting for him with another girl who also flew in with me from Lawas to see his boyfriend, he called again. I had anticipated on waiting for another couple of hours or so before he arrives, but on the phone that time, he said he was going to be there in half an hour, after he's dropped off his staff at their hotel. My, he's early. I decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up. When I came back to where I had left my things I can't help but smile at myself to realize that I was indeed still nervous. Just the thought of seeing him again just took away all the cool that I had been mustering all these weeks. Just when I started realizing that it hurts much less once I have stopped caring, something inside me still makes me nervous at the very thought of seeing him again. I hope that is not desperation or weakness. I hope that is just me being out of practice. Him being only the second man who has truly taken a place in my heart in my 33 years of life. I've never been the cool type anyway. Always fire and quick-temper, being cool and collected is not and probably never will be one of my forte.
I sat there with our luggage as the other girl took her turn to go to the bathroom. I hate getting nervous because I will get sweaty. I hate getting sweaty because then he will know I was nervous. I hate people knowing that I am nervous, but they always do.
He called again. I'll be there very soon, wait for me outside. I bade goodbye to the girl, who is also a teacher from my town, and rolled my small but heavy bag behind me as I walked outside to wait for him.
Moments later we were in his car, saying our hi's and how are you's and were on our way to the hotel. We checked in, went out again for dinner and then went to the supermarket next door for some stuff. He has a fascination of supermarkets. Perhaps that is because he grew up without these things around him? I don't know.
The next morning, he asked me where I would like to go. How about Mulu Caves, I said. We'll need boots and lamps and other things. Fine, what would you suggest then? He suggested that we drive all the way down to Bintulu then to Sibu and then I can fly back from there. Sounds like a good idea to me, because rather than spend a really quiet afternoon just doing nothing, I'd really rather be in a long road trip where he has nowhere to go but stick in there and talk to me whether he likes it or not.
We did just that. Drove all the way down to Sibu. That took us 5 hours to get there, stopping here and there, just to stretch our legs.
At one of these stop overs, I think it was the first one, which was at Batu Niah, we stopped at the bus stop over. There was a nice clean place where people sell fruits and other produce. He went and bought some durians. Three big ones with really thick and sweet pulp but very small shrivelled up seeds. It was lovely. Not because he was around to enjoy it with me, but because it really was. We had them opened and we had them then and there. But then a chinese couple from one of the buses walked along the stall where we stood eating the durians, and he made the mistake of inviting them to have some some. It was a good thing that he had urged me to eat as fast as I could because once they came along, another bunch of people came with them and gobbled everything up! What were they thinking???
They even drank and washed their hands from his mineral water bottle. Gila ke apa? And after they were done, they looked at us sheepishly and said, trima kasih ah, abang, kakak? And quietly dissipate. Sorry to sound so crass, but they ate everything up, and even rembat most of the durian tembaga that I loved so much, but only had the time to have only two.
Back in the car, we couldn't stop joking about the whole incident. He said he will have to think about it plenty of times the next time he is gonna invite anyone to join them for durian treats. Sampai lah Sibu pun, the joke still come up from time to time. Because tak boleh lupa punya incident tu.
We had lunch in Bintulu and went to the airport to get me a new Sibu - Miri ticket and change my Miri - Lawas ticket. There was nothing much to see or do in Bintulu, so we just went on to Sibu.
Sampai di Sibu, we checked in at RH Hotel, which was right next to Wisma S@ny@n, which according to him is the tallest building in the whole of Sarawak. Well, I guess people in Borneo does not aspire to build high.
Looking outside the window, in my room and also in the corridors, there was nothing much to see all the way to the horizon. He said it is due to the fact that Sibu started out as a swamp and there is not much land suitable enough to build high buildings. Most of them are just 5 - 7 stories high. The city was widespread and has almost the same population as Miri, but due to the differences in income, it has not been declared a city yet. Miri has the advantage of being close to Brunei which makes it a shopping haven for these people. Over the years, that had granted Miri it's status as a city.
Buat apa di Sibu 2D2N? Makan-makan and gaduh sambil merajuk. Let me spare you from the gaduh and merajuk bit. It was silly, really. But at least he shut up after kena jelingan maut yang dah makin jarang aku gunakan. Tak sangka, masih berkesan. I had never used it on him before, nor do I plan to use it on him again in the future. InsyaAllah.
We didn't go anywhere special, just hung around the town and ate here and there. He had planned to take me to see Sarikei, but he got sick and that didn't sound appealing once he started not feeling too well. It was fine, because I don't mind being in Sibu because it seemed to be a more interesting town. There is the big mall in the wisma next door for shopping and things. And the hotel room was not bad for a government staff discount of RM138 a night, I think it is a steal. It was new and furnished in contemporary style. Very comfortable and I would not have had any qualms about spending the whole 2 days just sleeping in my room. The bed covers are so fluffy and warm. Suker....
Oh, while we were in Sibu, asyik pergi supermarkets aje. Sana, sini, semua supermarket that he knows he will take me. And I would just go and just walk around, not knowing what to get. Temankan ajelah. Where is the harm in that?
I feel sorry for him for becoming sick again towards the end of the trip. He put on a brave face not to make me worry. It was milder than what he got on our last trip to KK. Or not wanting to spoil everything by getting sick again.I don't feel that it is a ruinous thing if he had been sick. I have had sickness in my life since I can remember.
On Monday morning, I woke up early, took a shower, prayed and packed all my stuff. Then we both checked out. He took me to have some breakfast and then straight to the airport. All the way there, he played nothing but Elvis' Pledging My Love. He didn't say it was for me. Assuming it was would be callous.
I have been in this relationship long enough to know better. Nevertheless, I liked it. It was simple and straightforward. But too deep. I doubt that he has that deep a feeling for me. I don't need to comfort myself with the knowledge that he does. Remember, it stopped hurting once I stopped caring?
We were early, so we spent the last hour at the cafeteria, over coffee and pulut panggang.
He had another 4-hour long drive to get back to Kuching.
Back in Lawas, I got busy with the KW@PM thing I was planning to finish. When everything necessary had been carried out, I drove to Limbang to drop it off at the PPD.
In the days that followed, we only had another 4 days of school. It went like a breeze. And now we are in out first mid-term break. Everyone went balik kampong. I stayed back here. One week is too short for me to indulge in the company of family and my three nephews and niece. I don't want to have withdrawal syndrome for just one measly week of that. So I never go back home in March, prefering to wait till end of May.
I spent Saturday sleeping in and being lazy. Sunday, I went grocery shopping, washed everything and tidied up. I went to school this morning and found that the school was in water, 2 feet deep. I left the car at the gate and waded my way to the office.
That was that.
I saw J on YM. He came online. He doesn't see. I kept him on my list so that I can make sure that he will never see me online ever again. From the looks of things, he has finally had the strength to let me go. With the help of that nasty email I sent him last October. It was nasty. He needed the kick in the butt. He does not have any business looking for me again after the four years and ruin things. My life was great. I wanted it to stay J-free. But he thought it would be nice to pick up where we left. And I was too weak to think straight. History will not repeat itself.
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