Friday, June 22, 2007


Why is it now that I have mentally released him of any liability to be blamed for all the hurt I made myself feel whenever he is unable to follow through with his plans, and consequently, also released him from being tied to me in this strange relationship, I feel no more anger for him, but in its place, I find that I miss him more and more.

Why do I keep doing that to myself?

On a scale of 1 to 5 on the SOM, I am on a 3 today. Which is great. I am on my way to recovery. Malas kan? Tiap kali balik kampung, I have to go through recovery. It's funny how homesickness still strikes after more than 7 years of the routine of going home for the school break and returning here. And the feeling gets worse every year.

The easiest thing to do is, PINDAH LA BALIK KL.

That is all fine and dandy but after all the novelty of 'coming home' is gone, what is there for me in a place that I have left because of the smothering heat and materialism?

Yes, my family is definitely there.... but being with them makes me take them for granted. Things had been more peaceful since I was away. I should keep it that way.

Should I leave for something I am not happy with. Should I stay and feel guilty about everything?

No comments: