shitty

The last time I felt this shitty, I was hospitalized for seven days and was on the drip throughout.

And that was thirteen years ago.

Friday : Took a supposedly day-trip to KK to get the phone software upgraded. But spent the night anyway because we felt like it. And too tired to drive back. I'm getting old and my stamina is really low lately.

Saturday : Finished whatever we came to KK for and drove home. The cats...

Sunday morning : Already felt the sniffles. Then the coughing. After the wantan soup, everything went downhill.

Sunday night : My body was on fire but I felt cold. I wondered if I should get myself to the emergency room, but I was too sick to even get out of bed, let alone get dressed and drag myself into the car. I was aching all over. It felt like only death could end it.

Monday morning : Called in sick. My body felt like it went through a leather tanning machine. My head was throbbing. The fever still hadn't really left me. My stomach was grumbling. All I had for dinner was two very strong paracetamol tablets and some cough syrup the night before. I had some bread of course, but I couldn't swallow anything. Went to the clinic.

Monday evening : I wish I could say the fever didn't leave it's mark on me. I still ached all over. Thought about not coming to work again tomorrow, but it just felt wrong.

Tuesday morning : Went to work a little late on the account of nausea. No class. School was over really early on the account of shortage of teachers. There is the football cup thing at school going on now.

Tuesday evening : I still feel like shit. I'm really hungry. But I can't eat, cuz everything tastes like iron. Force-feeding myself. A few spoonfuls of rice porridge. I need to eat something to take the meds. I need to take the meds so I can stop feeling this shitty. I need to stop feeling this shitty so I can still give a damn about the shitty things the shitty kids are doing at school. (Not the goods ones, I love them. They always make me smile)

Ya Allah, I know, this is a small test. I have forgotten how good I have gotten it. I will get through this when You want me to. Please forgive me, for all my sins. Amin.