bomb

Today, I took off right after classes were over. I didn't say goodbye to anyone like usual. For some reason, I feel like the need to not care about how people feel. Have I been too much of a people pleaser that just doing this makes me wonder what people will think about me when I do something like that once in a while.

It could have been better, but I don't blame my childhood. I am the person I am today for what it had been. Just that, sometimes, I feel like I am nicer to other people than to my own family. To the people who really matter.

Today, I finally got that new number plate made. The old one is lame in a way that it is shorter than the space that is provided for it. For some reason, the guy who made it for me said, it looks good. To me, it made my car look like it has Hitler's moustache. I am such a procrastinator, it took me almost five years to get a new one. It looks much better now.

While I had the plate made, I also had my tire plugged. I had one of the boys change it at school today and gave him some tip. We'll see if the plug holds. If not, then I will have to get my car new tires.

While I waited for them to do those things, I hung around the shop and looked around while talking to the owner. I made them laugh. I laughed a lot too. I don't know what makes me so funny that I can make them laugh at the slightest things I say or do.

It was such a happy moment that the wife said, "You don't have any problems, do you, Miss?"

That was not the first time I was asked that question. Who doesn't have a problem? I have a lot. And most of them are unhelpable. Unhelpable. Is that even a word? But that doesn't mean I can be all cranky and moody all the time with everyone. Besides, I can't be those things all the time. That would so not be me.

So I answered her, "Of course I do. But why should I be unhappy and tell the world about it? It's not like anyone wants to do anything about it, anyway."

And it's not like being cranky and moody is going to make things any better.

I don't find being cranky and moody with everyone I see as a way of making anything better on my side of reality. But there is no wrong in being cheerful and making the world feel like it is a better place anyway, despite the fact.

Am I a ticking time bomb?

free

Perhaps I made myself seem like a person entrapped in a loveless relationship. For the one I love dearly, I want you to know, that I am aware that I am totally free to leave this if I want to. If and when I want to.

So, do not fret about the thing you said to me about not breaking up with him.

low

There was this one day, Chia, Z and I wanted to go to Sipitang for our chick's day out... The usual stuff. Satay and soups. ON other days, we'd just pass through without having our passes stamped. Mainly because the new drive-thru check-point building was still in construction and no one ever bothered to warn us about the improtance of having our passes stamped for the sake of having satay and soup for a few hours in the next town. Macam kat Germany in WWII plak la....

So when I got there, I just drove through, and I saw this guy standing at the booth, just looking at me, stupidly. Had he lifted his arm I swear, I would have stopped and have our passes stamped! I swear. But since he just stood there like a stupid baffoon, I just drove on.

We had a good time. And we drove back.

I never thought these assholes can be so low. It turned out, they were waiting to exact revenge on me. They waited till I got there and when I stepped out of the car, asking if we should have our passes stamped, they went all out on a tirade on how I am such a samseng and driving so fast (what so fast? want to die ah? where got? Huge bumper besar batang kelapa across the road, want to drive fast how?) Blah blah blah.

The one thing I hate about myself is that, when my emotions takes over, all I could do is cry. Where had my whiplash tongue gone, when I needed it the most? I was not sad. I was angry. I was so angry, I cried. How stupid could I have been?

And this mamat German was so happy, he went into the building and laughed so hard, like a fucking hyena. B*b*!!!

The Sabahan officer a.k.a. stupid dumbass guy who stood by the booth saying nothing when I passed by earlier, said,

"Datang negeri orang, hormatlah sikit."

I was like, "What?"

Perhaps, I could have said something and fight it out and won and feel good about everything. But I couldn't. They are officers. They are Government Servants as much as I am. Just that, I do not wear uniforms and I am paid way better than they are. So there.

Let them have their petty victory that day.

Then the "Beruang" as we have now affectionately called him, said to me....

"Kita ni sama Govmen Staff, kalau diorang marah, awak diam je... "

What kind of advice is that? Was he trying to make me feel better or the situation? Anyway, I was in tears by that time. So I couldn't say much. So I got back into the car and moved it to the booth up ahead and had our passes stamped. The guy in the booth was sympathetic of me I guess, he gave me some soothing words. Like hell it was soothing.

He said I could report these assholes to their superiors, but when I asked him for these assholes' numbers, he said, sabar, sabar kak.... my foot.

At work the next day I asked my boss if I should report them to their superiors. He said, there is no need to do that. I should just try to let it go because I will be passing through there many more times after this. Creating further friction would not be a smart thing to do.

So I didn't.

I know I did wrong, but there was no excuse for them to be rude and such assholes. Memang mereka tu anak-anak babi agaknya. The parents never bothered to teach them manners. Oh well, sekarang mereka rasa. Every time I pass through there, they have no excuse to 'curi tulang'. Dan I pass through there almost every other day.Kerjalah untuk gaji kau yang tak seberapa tu. Jangan curi tulang yeah?

Sebenarnya, mereka nak mengurat the girls dalam kereta tu. Tapi since I tak berhenti selama ni, mereka takde chance la nak buat kerja terkutuk tu kan? Mana ada my friends yang berkenan dengan mereka tu? Dah la jagung muda lagi, muka cam tongkol jagung je, pendapatan pun tak seberapa... tapi kurang kesedaran yang their chances of snagging me or my friends are nil. Bodohs.

I asked the others if they had their passes stamped if they pass through there. They said no. Only if they are leaving through KK airport for KLIA. Bedebs! Marahnya!

Takpe... orang yang takde kerja, baiklah diberi kerja. So, to all you dumbasses yang buat kuang ajor to me that day, Selamat Bertugas. Semoga Tuhan membalas jasa baikmu. Yang ada courtesy to be nice, thanks so much, again, Tuhan saja la yang balas.

So sebab nak mengurat punya pasal, terpaksa la buat-buat kerja. Padan mukass.

sub

Last Sunday, I went to KK with Cia. We had a shopping spree of sorts. Well I don't always go shopping. This time around, I felt the need to cuz I was down to my last pair of wearable jeans and it is a carrot cut! I am so not gonna be caught dead in that!

Z didn't wanna come along cuz she said she has a lot of work to catch up with. So there was just the two of us.

At WM, there was a sale at one of the departmental stores. Actually, I was not planning on spending too much on anything. Chia was the one looking for something for her Sports Day. A track bottom or something. So I just followed her around and looked around. There were so many people there of course. But you know how it feels like when you are not big on shopping but you still have to go along with a friend of yours who is having a good time doing it? Well, it is not her fault, really, I am just too selfish that way. But it's okay with Chia, because she'd do the same for me.

In the end, I got myself three t-shirts and the best thing of all, I got myself two new pairs of jeans. Nothing fancy but looks sensible to Chia the fashionista. That is good enough for me. And at half price too.

Then, of course, a trip to KK won't be complete without going to G and W! Got myself some make up stuff. Oh! The girl in me. How I wish I can just be happy with just t alcum powder on my face.

And when we were done with that, we headed for PW that was just opened. Why? Because there is a newly opened Secret Recipe outlet. From the looks of things, it seemed like it just opened that day, but when I asked the Boss, who was happily walking around mingling with the patrons, he told us it was open since late November last year. Whatever.

We had spaghetti bolognaise, a cafe latte for me and apple juice for Chia. I could have tried something else, but I just didn't feel like it. The Boss guy was pretty friendly. There was a funny incident. Quite embarrassing really. But then, I didn't care much about things like that now that I am older. If I was younger, I might have just dropped dead from embarrassment.

You see, we were placed near this tai-tai. She has this condescending look that didn't sit well with me. So I looked around, the place was already jam-packed with people, but then there was an empty table which was just opened up. The plates weren't even taken away yet. So I said to Chia, why don't we move over there. I was already up and walking to that table, about to ask the Boss guy who was standing there waiting for the table to be cleaned up if the table was taken. But I had to repeat my question several times because it seemed like he was having a bad time understanding what I was saying. But then, I guess by then of course there were people already waiting for that table to be cleared up.

I had to go back to my table. Damn it. Of course I was embarrassed. But, like I said, I didn't care much. And the good thing was, the tai-tai had to just grin and bare it with me there right next to her table. What? They don't accept my money is it?

Later on, the boss guy came to my table and said to me,

"I am so sorry about what happened just now. I really didn't hear you."

Why was he apologizing? It was no big deal. And why couldn't he hear me? Is he on a broken hearing aid or something?

Anyway, we talked a little more and everything was fine again. Not that it was anything in the first place anyway. But I am glad that the Boss guy was kind enough to bother apologizing to li'l old me.

When we were done, we paid up and I shook the Boss guy's hand before we left. We headed to CP and up the elevator to PSq where my favourite shoes stores are. But when we got there, nothing caught my eye. And when nothing caught my eye, I don't buy anything. So we went to the other stores instead.

That was that.

We left at 6pm. I knew I left at that time because there is this guy text messaging me reminding me that I am to leave the shopping before 6pm for fear of not being able to get to the border in time. I joked that I totally lost the time and he freaked out! Some guys are funny that way. So I assured him that I have been in that town longer that he has, and has been to KK countless time and had never ever missed the border closing hour.

True enough, I was passing the town of B by 7.40pm and estimated to arrive in my town at 9.30pm. But then since it rained since 4 am that morning and it rained all the way to KK and all day long and still raining on the way back, there was a part of the road after B that was submerged. A Kancil could pass through, barely, so I could too.... but the suspense. Chia was freaing out because the water felt like it was coming into the car as I drove through it. She even lifted her legs onto the seat. At one point, I think she stopped breathing because she was all quiet and I could see the fear in her face. But I told her if she is scared, I'd be scared too. So she didn't show it so much. Actually, I was close to tears myself at the time. I don't know. It was just too damned scary cuz it happened at night. It would have been a little different if it happened in the daytime, I think. But we got through just fine and went on the journey home.

I promised to give him a honk when I pass by, as a joke. So when I passed by his place, I sent him a text message that went "Honk! Honk! As promised."

But when I got to the curving road near the river as we approached the town, I screeched to a halt because it was totally submerged! Oh My God! Like.... It never happened here before. Well, I know that it had happened before and perhaps numerous times. But not that I have seen it. So now that I have, I was flabbergasted. We took pictures, but then it was too dark, so it was no good. The river had overflown, having risen by more than 10 feet. Only one feet of the railings on the waterfront was still visible. The rest was underwater. The playground opposite was submerged too. I couldn't see the football field on the other side, but I think it is probably a few inches under water too.

I turned the car around and drove up the hill behind the hospital. But when we got to the road that lead to town by the hospital, we found that the JKR Quarters were flooded too. There was no way out through there.

Again, I turned the car around and climbed up the hill again, and took the road in front of the fire station. On the other side, I saw that there was no way through the town because the road leading to the only junction with traffic lights in town was also a few feel underwater. I took the road leading to the Chung Hwa Primary School and from there, drove to the pharmacy. That is a high point in the town. I went there to see the extent of the flood. True enough, the road in front of our favourite cafe was also underwater by a few feet. We took pictures of it of course, but then on a cellphone camera, what can you really make out from that eh?

Then we drove on home. Along the way, we could see that the water had reached the tamu market area.

When we got home, we were tired from all the excitement but still had some energy left to tell the girls what happened. It was all so very exciting!

I was pooped. I went upstairs and fell asleep right away. I was wondering how will I be handling tomorrow with me being so tired tonight, as I was falling asleep. But the next morning, I got a text message from one of my kids at school, asking me if there was gonna be school that day. I called a van driver in the village, and he told me that the section of the road to the village which was lowest was submerged. Many vehicles were stranded. So I called my boss and told him that. He said, OK, don't come if you can't. I said, we will come later if you want and if the water have subsided. I text the girl and everyone else in town. Then I went back to sleep. Yippee!

I was happy of course! I get to sleep some more. But I don't think that the people in the village was too happy about it. I do feel sorry for them.

I waited and waited for the call for us to go to work, but it never came. So that day felt like a Sunday.

On Tuesday, we went later in the morning. The water was still knee-deep.

Wednesday, everything was back to normal. Thank God. That afternoon, I took the girls to Sipitang. Then again, on Friday. The people at the checkpoint is thinking that we're trying to hit on them passing through so much. Perasanlah! I will tell you about them in another entry.

The rest of the week was .... Macam biasa je. And today is Saturday again.

That's all for now.



So I turned the car around again and