Monday, February 2, 2015

of my transfer

Finally, I made the effort to apply for a transfer last September and my application had been approved.

Finally got the letter through the fax last Friday.

Finally, having anxiety issues, had the guts to call my new principal and ask for an extension until after the CNY break.

Truly packing up all my crap and transitioning into my new life with my little boy, as a Selangorian again, after a very long and happy 15 years of being away.

There had been shitty stuff in the past 5 years of my life.
But I don't feel like talking about that tonight.

Lina, just be happy that last year, you got a son that you adore.


In my heart, there is a heaviness, a sadness, but at the same time there is a gladness that most people would probably feel when they are returning home for good.

I will always seem like my chirpy self. I am always happy. Well, nowadays at least. The last 4 years was hard on me. I have finally climbed out of that deep dark hole of self-loathing for having fallen for that age old trick when I thought I had done nothing to deserve it.

Well, such is life!

Let's see ...

I like that I can be with family again after so long.
Safer and have the support I need after the crazy last few years that I have had to endure on my own being so far away from home.

I hate the packing up and the clearing up of my office of 10 years.
Been here 15 years.
Had that office for 10.

I super hate leaving this village and its people...
They have been so very kind to me.
Will miss them so much.

But it is high time for me to go.
And the time is right even when I will never be ready to leave.

Bila la anyone is truly ready for anything, right?

Just closing my eyes and jumping off the edge.
I'll land somewhere and learn to be happy there too.


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