well again

By the time I post this entry, I would be at home, showered, cleaned and dressed in something comfortable and probably tengah menjalar in my living room.

Tapi masa I taip ni, memang I am in my office.

Apa nak komplen hari ni? Opisku panas.

Kenapa panas? Sebab ada masalah wiring, so bila je aku onkan ac ku inniew, ianya akan mengakibatkan seluruh Bangunan Pentadbiran ini mengalami back-out. Dah beberapa kali berlaku, aku tak sanggup buat lagi sebab nanti habis pulak rosak komputer-komputer dalam bangunan ni gara-gara aku tak tahan panas.

Waran tiket ke Miri dah Ara siapkan. Tunggu nak pergi ambil je petang ni. Huhuhu. Dan aku pun dah semakin pulih daripada penyakit kali ini. Thanks to the steroids I am on at the moment. I wonder if it does anything to my energy levels, because it is doing wonders. Hari ni dengan suara serak-serak seksi-meksi dek hidung tersumbat dah batuk keterlaluan, aku dapat lagi menghamput beberapa orang budak lelaki yang tak reti nak keep their shirts tucked in. And aku sempat cari budak escape kat area kedai. Dapat sorang. Lagi tiga aku akan bunuh esok. Come on, when I said bunuh, takkan you all sangka I will literally kill them with my bare hands. When I said bunuh, it is just a hyperbole yang menunjukkan bahawa aku akan kerjakan mereka cukup-cukup bila mereka datang ke sekolah nanti. Kalau bukan aku yang nak meleterkan mereka ke jalan kebenaran, siapa lagi? Memang la Guru Disiplin punya kerja, tapi kalau Guru Disiplin buat senyum kambing je bila aku bukak cerita pelaksanaan disiplin kat sekolah ni, takkan aku nak biarkan je pulak, kan? Aku turun padang la sesekali.

Lagipun dah dekat dengan waktu cuti penggal ke-tiga ni, aku tak salahkan sesiapa kalau orang dah masuk mood cuti. Korang pun jangan salahkan mereka tau? Sebab kalau korang menghadap kerenah 500 orang pelajar yang pelbagai yang kebanyakkannya menyakitkan kepala selama lebih 250 hari persekolahan setiap tahun, korang pun akan rasa macam tu bila dah dekat time nak cuti panjang; sebab masa tu korang dapat menumpukan perhatian kepada keluarga tercinta, orang tersayang, percutian di destinasi idaman, minat dan hobi yang telah lama terkandas atau sekadar bermalas-malasan di rumah... apa saja yang dapat menjadi terapi untuk menyediakan diri untuk menghadapi tahun persekolahan yang seterusnya.

Aku? Kalau bercuti, banyak masa aku habiskan di rumah je. Dengan ibu, adik dan anak angkat tu. Hujung minggu, meriahlah sikit sebab ada abang balik bawak family dia, dan anak-anak buah aku lagi 2 orang tu memang tengah ligat buat nakal. Kalau ada masa aku bawa mak and adik jalan-jalan ke luar. Tapi banyak masanya, adik aku yang sibuk ajak berjalan sebab waktu cuti dia bukan ikut time Malaysia. So sesekali dapat bercuti, memang dialah yang beriya-iya mengajak aku pergi ke mana-mana. Kawan-kawan ada mengajak. Tapi selalu aku beri alasan macam-macam sebab malas nak berdress up dan keluar berpoya-poya dengan mereka sedangkan mata ni sebenarnya asyik nak tidur kat rumah je. Wahahahaha... aku memang kai tido. Kalau takde aktiviti nak meninggalkan rumah tu, takdenya aku nak berinisiatif sendiri nak pergi mana-mananya deh. Adakah aku kera sumbang? Maybe.

Padahalnya aku memang rindu kat kengkawan U dulu. Tapi aku rapat dengan sesetengahnya je. Tapi dengan mereka pun aku susah sangat nak bersua muka. Maklumlah, semuanya dah berkerjaya. Dan aku rasa hanya aku je yang masih jadi cikgu sekolah. Yang lain dah jadi pensyarah, penolong pengarah, ahli perniagaan dan sebagainya. Aku tak iri. Aku suka jadi cikgu, kan banyak cuti? Huahahaha... tapi bila difikirkan soalan cepu mas yang bakal disoal, seperti ”What’s new...?” Takkan aku nak dok jawab, ”Same old, same old?” manjang. Sebab memang takdek perbendernya yang aku nak ceritakan pung. Takkan aku nak buat-buat cerita lak, kan?

Tapi masa Bella ajak tu memang tak berapa sihat la. Lagipun masa tu masih di Tampin, kat umah uncle. By the time sampai kat rumah, aku dah tenat. Nak lunch date kehapanya, kan? Nak menyebar germs je jawabnya kalau aku menggatal kata nak nak nak.

Takpa, cuti sekolah penggal ke-tiga, aku dah diberi lampu hijau untuk cuti lebih lama dari tahun lepas oleh Pengetua. So, insyaAllah, I will make a better effort at catching up with me friends, especially J dan Bella. Aku rindu kat J, dah lama tak jumpa dia and menganyam ketupat dengan dia, bak kata Bella. Kalau aku jumpa Bella, aku nak bualkan tentang apa? Her circle of friends is totally different from mine. And frankly speaking, kalau ye la jumpa si Bella ni, dialah manusia kedua yang aku jumpa face-to-face yang mulanya kenal di internet. Kuno sangat ke aku? Well, let’s just say that I go to the internet for different reasons than she did. Oh my! Seswatu sangat! Ramai yang ajak jumpa. Tapi kebanyakkannya creepy je. So aku malas entertain ajakan berbau danger macam tu. Jadi takdelah berjumpa dengan sesiapa pung dari internet selama ini. Mak selamat, jiwa pun tenteram. Hiks!

Gigihnya aku berentry hari ni. Apsal ek? Adakah steroid ini yang telah membuatkan aku begini atau aku memang dah bebetul sihat? Apa-apa pun aku sangat gumbira hari ini sebab I am definitely feeling way better than I did on Monday. No, I am not whining. I am writing these things about me being sick, so that one day when I read these entries again, I would know that I am indeed not invincible, the way I feel most of the time when I am healthy.

Hes hes hes.

ampus

I was in perfect health when I flew back to KL the Thursday before Eid. But when I got there, everyone in the family was either coughing or wheezing. I guess I already knew I was gonna get sick too eventually, with all the sickness that was going on.

Sure enough, the following Sunday, I started feeling unwell. I started coughing. That's how I always get sick since I have been having tonsilitis ever since I can remember. I thought it would just go away. Although my tonsilitis never 'goes away' just like that before, not without a visit to the doctor, I didn't feel like it was a big deal. My brother thought I was just having the coughs. So he suggested I get some lozenges for the cough. My throat had begun to feel raw from all the coughing and I was already coughing up some blood by then. It grew worse, until Wednesday, I felt sorry that my being sick had caused everyone to be stuck in the house, so I suggested that we all go to Tampin that morning. Bukan nak spread germs. Tapi because kami memang mesti pergi Tampin kalau Raya cuz itu rumah my uncle (my mom's older brother) yang wajib we all visit time Raya. So we all pergi la. Malam Rabu tak dapat tidur langsung cuz I was coughing and wheezing so much and had so much mucus throughout the night, asyik kena pergi bathroom to get rid of it. And I my coughs have started feeling more chesty than it was before and I can feel my lungs 'gurgling' with moisture every I cough and wheeze for air.

The next day, I went to the clinic with my sister. The doctor buat cam biasa je. He gave me some meds and gave a a spray or two up my nose with a nasal spray. That cleared up my breathing. Selama ni I thought nasal spray tu painful, rupanya idak. Then I also mintak to be injected so cepat sikit sembuh.

Anyway, I went back, and started on the meds. Balik dari Tampin, sampai Sabtu, ubat and antibiotics dah habis, tapi tak tunjukkan tanda-tanda akan sembuh. Malahan jadi tambah teruk adalah. My momcould hear the noise my chest was making and she suggested I postpone my going back to Lawas and pergi masuk wad. I thought about it, maybe that is a good idea because I don't remember being in such a bad shape before.

Tapi then I remembered that ada 3 orang kawan sekolah nak tumpang balik sama in my car from KK. If I do that, they would be stranded in KK for a day before taking the bus on Monday.
Kerana itu je, I had to trash that idea. Lagipun my mom said, takpelah balik sekarang. Sakit pun, boleh pergi jumpa doktor kat sana nanti, at least ada kawan nak balik sekali, tak la driving sorang.

I didn't know how bad it was. I coughed in the plane. I covered my face when I cough cuz tak nak menakutkan penumpang lain. It was so bad. Nasib baik, I sat at the back sekali. So tak la sesiapa yang berani nak menoleh ke belakang mencari orang yang batuk macam nak mam tu...

Sampai kat airport, I jumpa budak bertiga tu, berlawak-lawak. Lapar, I manaaged to have one piece of chicken wing from KFC. Lepas tu hantar Z pergi cuci wedding pics dia and then terus drive ke Lawas.

This morning, I went to school. Sebelum cuti Raya, I left my question paper dengan printer person tu. Dia janji nak tolong staplekan. So to make sure that it was done, I went to school. Dapatlah hantar si Z ke sekolah sekali. Lepas tengok question paper in order, I gave it to Z since she was the one yang patutnya masuk first jaga exam masa tu, then I drove back to town.

Sepanjang jalan balik tu, I dozed off a few times. My dar dah masuk kat area berumput on the bahu jalan atau dah melalut ke tengah jalan baru I tersedar. Bukan doze off sikit-sikit. Terlena terus. I still drove on sebab I know if I stopped pun, bukan I nak tidur pun nanti. Mesti wide awake dibuatnya. Sampai kat Lawas, I terus park kat depan klinik doktor Chong walaupun 45 minutes awal. I tidur je dalam kereta, sebab kalau balik nanti mesti tak larat nak keluar lagi.

10 minutes ebelum kul 8, I masuk and duduk kat lobby klinik. Bila masuk, doktor tu ask usual questions and then ask me to go to the next room and put me on the neb machine for 10 minutes. Barulah I could breathe normally again and my chest pun tak terasa penuh dengan
kahak sangat.

I tak mintak pun, tapi dia bagi MC 2 hari and for medication, dia bagi Ventolin inhaler, ubat batuk, paracetamol and antibiotics. Dia kata I kena semput. What is the proper medical term for semput? Asthma? Do people get asthma later in life? I don't remember ever having asthma.

I senang dengan doktor Chong daripada pergi hospital kerajaan, sebab ubat Hospital Kerajaan tak berkesan on me. Dari kecik pun memang my mom took me to private clinic kalau I demam. Lagipun kalau I sakit, doktor Chong tak akan tuduh I am trying to get free MC macam doktor kat Poliklinik kat pekan tu. Kepala hotak dia. Ingat aku macam tu ke? Memang perempuan tu babi. Aku sakit ni, dia kata aku pura-pura. Lagipun dulu aku pernah main tennis sama time sebelah court dengan doktor Chong. Kira kenal la juga. Kawan-kawan dia pun kenal aku juga.

Balik tadi, aku beli nasi goreng tapau, lepas makan, aku amik ubat and tidur je most part of the day. Aku dah call boss. Kesian dia. Kak Liza takde plak minggu ni. Dia ke Kuching, ada kursus PK1. Esok aku cuti lagi.

Malam ni aku masih batuk lagi. Tapi tak sesakit atau sedahsyat minggu lepas.

My mom tak berhenti-henti call to see how I am doing. She must be worried. Kesian my mom. I hope she knows that there is more to me than the anak manja that she thought I was. I will be okay so she will be okay.

So now I have asthma to add to my health record. I wish I could turn back time and took better care. Tapi dah terlambat. But this is not a death sentence. I just have to find a clever way around it, right?

Thanks Bella, for the pointers. I didn't get around to getting the Tussils. Tapi now I am feeling better from the inhaler and ubat batuk. Tekak pun tak rasa sakit macam hari tu.

Harap-harap esok I will be much better.